With this being said...don't invite her. She's not even a friend of your daughter's. And you're going to have to basically babysit her. And no-one is going to want to hang out with her which isn't going to be good for anyone, including that girl...it sounds like she'd be better off not being invited, honestly. So, I'm going with your daughter's wishes...let her have fun rather than annoyance/tension at her birthday party. It's not like they'll be giving out invitations to the team right in front of everyone, including this girl, or standing around talking about it in front of this girl. So as far as I'm concerned, there's no obligation to invite her given the scenario you just described. (I'd respond differently under different circumstances).

:iagree:

I would definitely not show to my 11 y/o.

Denise, I'm so sorry you and your daughter are going through this. Those coaches sound horrid. I admit I haven't read the 8 pages of responses and only read your thread, so I apologize if I'm repeating something somebody else already said. But here is what I would do in your position: I would type out everything that you have a problem with, everything that happened. Be very detailed, very clear, and try to stay at least somewhat unemotional- stick to the facts and don't go crazy with things that might seem like emotional/personal slights against the coaches. Ask people here to review it if necessary! If there's something positive/nice you can throw in there to show that you are balancing things out in your head and don't just come across as a miserable person who hates the class, the coaches, and everything about it (therefore leaving them wondering "well why are you still here?") that might be good, too. But say everything you want to say and make sure the supervisor knows everything that's been going on. Get it to the supervisor today- by email or by dropping it off with her. Explain that you want her to have all of the facts BEFORE your meeting tomorrow to keep things on track, relevant, and to help facilitate the actual meeting, and that you feel that she needs to know all the background before you can sit down to discuss it in person. If she reads it, the meeting should go more smoothly for you, because she'll already know everything you want her to know and you can both use it as a jumping off point. She'll have some idea of whatever response she wants to give you, will be able to address the points you made, etc. In this way you will not leave there thinking "I don't even remember what I said in there" or "I was so emotional and stressed, I forgot to say this, that and the other thing!" She won't feel attacked and on the spot because she'll have already had some time to process things and formulate a response to them and so on.

Oh, glad to see more people joining in! And that's good that you got an early start lol. It's up to all of you guys if you want a social group. They do seem so limited in how many characters they let you type on the boards and in the few I've joined, they seem to go strong for a little while and then people sort of stop going and they just die out, but if enough people think it's worth it, we could give it a try!

How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (There's one for teens, too, with the same title, except replace "kids" with "teens").

Six Feet Under!

I'd find another pediatrician. My daughter just had her 11 year check up and hers asked about school and we reminded him that we homeschool. He asked if she gets to socialize with other kids her age. I informed him that she goes to a library book club, a homeschool bowling league, Girl Scouts, weekly Judo classes, weekly guitar lessons, is active in our homeschool group, and has friends and cousins who live on our street that she plays with after school. He seemed satisfied and didn't say anything else. I was sort of hoping he'd read between the lines and figure out that she probably gets more "socialization" than a lot of public schooled kids do. haha. If he had started insisting that she needed public school, I wouldn't have gone back to him again. That is way overstepping a doctor's bounds!

Ah. Well, I don't know if you've already seen this but I did OM5 with my daughter last year, and here's what a sample week looked like (schedule and some pics)... http://nancextoo.livejournal.com/126296.html When we did OM5, we did it all except for the math (I used TT instead). And I added on just a couple of minor things...a cursive work book, Sentence Composing for Elementary School, doing our own thing for "music." I think you could easily do OM5 for the fun hands on stuff and the writing assignments and so on but do whatever math you want and add on any additional grammar etc you feel is necessary. I haven't done OM1 yet but I do also have a Kindergarten sample schedule and pics if you wanted to take a peek: http://nancextoo.livejournal.com/125979.html So far I'm doing K with my son this year (tried it last year but he wasn't ready so we stopped and tried again this year- going much better now!), and I've done OM4, and OM5 with my daughter (doing OM6 with her this year) and we enjoy it. It's the most gentle from like K-2 from what I understand. I know in 4th they started introducing a decent amount of reading and writing assignments and such. But I haven't yet done grades 1-3 (I didn't pull my daughter out of public school til toward the very end of third grade; but my son will eventually use 1-3...I plan to use OM with both of them at least through 8th grade and then check into their high school stuff and see what that's like if we're still homeschooling then). I've always loved how they integrate in the later elementary school years...how the social studies lesson is brief in the book and then rounded out with living books, creative choices of writing assignments, and some sort of hands on activity or craft, and the writing assignments for language arts tie into the social studies material and so on. I like that it's not dry and textbookish and focused on worksheets and tests. It's interesting and fun (well, usually :P) and we enjoy doing a lot of it together. I also like how the earliest years are gentle and Waldorf-inspired and creative and don't push hard academics at the age of 5 or 6. P.S. Here's my review of OM in general if you haven't already seen that: http://nancextoo.livejournal.com/124071.html

Can I ask what grade level you would be using if you used OM...?

I don't know anything about that, going to have to go google it now! Anyway, I'm not going to engage in a big discussion about whether this segment was horrid and cruel or harmless and funny...while I found the accusation that anyone who laughed at this video clip is an emotional sadist to be a bit much, I can certainly see why some people would think it was not humorous or mean to do to the kids. I did say I felt bad for some of the younger ones who just started crying...I wouldn't tease my young child in that way although my older ones, who are old enough to know when I'm just messing with them, I do joke around with and prank a little bit sometimes. Not anything that would make them cry! Still, I found SOME of the reactions in the video to be funny and found the last two boys so funny and adorable, that it was worth sharing just because of those two. Nance, who apologizes if she offended some of you by posting the video.

When asking one of the kids to "get a damp paper towel and wipe up that spot please...oh, and that one, too...oh and there's another one over here..." just doesn't cut it anymore. :)

Ditto. Plus, I like writing and I don't like math. haha.

Jimmy Kimmel challenges parents to trick their kids by telling them that they (they parents) ate all the kids' Halloween candy. And record the kids' reactions. He then put together this clip of different kids and their reactions. Okay I admit, I felt kind of bad for the younger ones who just started crying. But some of these kids and reactions are hilarious and I know you guys are all going to love the two boys at the very end of the video! :D

I let my kids read and watch whatever they choose, as long as it isn't entirely inappropriate for their age or anything. I've never used the word "twaddle" in my life and never will. We just call it "fun," I guess. :) ~Nance (who identifies as a "relaxed homeschooler" rather than a "classical homeschooler")

So, did my post just get utterly lost in this thread, or does everybody here have me on ignore? lol. Was hoping for at least some thoughts/feedback on my post at the very bottom of page 16 of this thread!

In my opinion, there IS no reduced fat/low fat mayo that tastes good. Sorry lol. When I am in one of my dieting phases I either use much less of the real stuff (for tuna salad or some such) or in some cases I just switch to mustard (like on deli sandwiches).

I'd be more straightforward. Telling her it's because of a busy schedule may just lead her to keep hounding you about whether your schedule is cleared up yet. I would just say "I'm sorry, I'm just really not interested in those types of parties and have no desire to host one." Period. Then just drop it. If SHE brings up about you promising to host one you will have to tell her, "Well, yes, but that was when we were making a deal regarding trading X for me hosting a party. As the deal did not go through and as I am not interested in these types of parties, I'm going to pass on hosting one."

I completely agree with you. And with you. And,even with you. I do think she was hoping that would end it. But when it didn't, she stood by the father every step of the way. She kept yelling at the girl to turn over, and to take it like a woman, and when she and the father moved away, you could hear them talking in the background and her agreeing with every word he said... I felt ill that any father would treat his child this way. I felt even more ill that any mother would stand by and allow it to happen.

I agree. And I think that EVERYONE should read this...even if you end up deciding you don't agree with it, or that you don't agree with all of it,...there's some food for thought here, and some good points that deserve real consideration. http://www.nospank.net/sexdngr.htm Some excerpts for those who don't want to click the link: Spanking, defined as slapping of the buttocks, is a form of hitting and thus of physical violence. That fact alone should make the spanking of children unacceptable by the same standards that protect adults, who are not as vulnerable. However, there is more to spanking than simply hitting: spanking also trespasses on one of the body’s most private and sexual areas—the buttocks. To fully address the wrongness of spanking children, therefore, we must consider not only the issue of physical violence, but also the issue of sexual trespass... Buttocks are a sexual zone Like women’s breasts, the buttocks are a sexual or erogenous part of the human anatomy, even though they are not actually sex organs. This is why baring one’s buttocks in public is considered indecent as well as unlawful and why their exposure in movies or on television constitutes nudity. It is also why someone who uninvitedly fondles another person’s buttocks is treated by law as a sexual offender. The sexual nature of the buttocks is explained not only by their proximity to the genitals, but also by their high concentration of nerve endings which lead directly to sexual nerve centers. Hence, the buttocks are a major locus of sexual signals... Spanking as sexual violation Since children are sexual beings and since the buttocks are a sexual region of the body, we should question the propriety of slapping children’s buttocks. We generally understand that fondling or caressing a child’s buttocks is a sexual offense (even if the child does not understand it to be so). We also know that slapping an adult’s buttocks is a sexual offense (even if the offender does not get sexual pleasure from doing so). The question, then, is why slapping a child’s buttocks is not considered a sexual offense... Spanking and psychosexual development Even without sexual motives on the part of the punisher, spanking can interfere with a child’s normal sexual and psychological development. Because the buttocks are so close to the genitals and so multiply linked to sexual nerve centers, slapping them can trigger powerful and involuntary sensations of sexual pleasure. This can happen even in very young children, and even in spite of great, clearly upsetting pain... Spanking and modesty Imagine your reaction if an authority figure, having discovered some misdeed of yours, pinned you across his lap and began slapping your buttocks. Painfulness aside, most people would consider this a rude, inexcusable assault on their modesty, no matter what they had done to “deserve†it. Many people might assume that children, especially very young children, are too ignorant or naive to feel such indignity, or perhaps too impressed by the physical pain of spanking to care about much else. The truth is, however, that spanking can seriously injure a child’s sense of modesty. When a child is old enough to be told by adults to act modestly (which is not merely a social requirement, but also a wise precaution against potential child molesters), that child is likely to internalize and develop modesty as a personal value that will increase with age. This value persists even though the child might lapse into immodest behavior from time to time, as most children do. Consequently, the child whose buttocks are slapped may experience deep and lasting sexual shame, especially if the punishment is done in front of others or involves a state of undress. Actually, there are some adults who consciously emphasize this humiliation as part of the punishment (and some, for that matter, who do not limit spanking to younger children or even to preteens). But just as inflicting sexual shame is an unthinkable punishment for adults in any civilized society, it is surely an outrageous way to treat children...

I would expect to buy my own food in a situation like that. I would not generally expect to be fed at a children's birthday party unless it is taking place at the home of a family friend or relative or something.

Judo because it was offered at the Y for a reasonable price. My daughter started classes last November, the month after turning 10, and she just turned 11 this month and is still really loving her class. They actually do some mixed stuff though and not strictly Judo (the Y calls it a Judo class, the instructor explains that he does a mix of Judo, Karate, and something else I can't recall at the moment). They mainly do things like back falls, side falls, front falls, rolls, blocks, holds/escapes, throws, they practice punches and kicks in the mirror, and sometimes do something fun like doing running jumps/rolls over objects such as people and chairs and so on. It focuses on training and not so much on belt advancement but that's this particular instructor's thing. I don't know much about martial arts one way or another, but I know that she has a great time, is building confidence, staying active, and so on, so for now we're continuing to stay with it. Like someone else said, I did once tour a local karate studio and it seemed too chaotic to me, too. There were SO many kids in the class that it didn't seem possible for any of them to get any individual attention. And it was much more expensive than the class at the Y.

Oak Meadow in the earliest years, and then Teaching Textbooks.

Thanks!! :)

This was probably very therapeutic for her. She can finally be heard instead of suffering alone/in secret. Revenge? Maybe. Stupid? No. She deserves to be heard by as many people as she wants to be heard by. And if it was going to end up being a case of he said/she said (against a powerful figure, a judge, no less!) she proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that she's not a liar. Bringing the public's attention to child abuse so that the public can take a stand against it in whatever way they can is not a bad thing, either. This man is a public figure and the public votes him in (and out) of office. They deserve to know what kind of man he is, he deserves whatever consequence comes of that, and every abused child deserves to have the world on their side speaking out on their behalf so that maybe, just maybe, some of them can be spared. We should not criticize this girl. She suffered horribly at that man's hands, and if this helps her deal with that, process it, get past it, feel empowered, get justice, or whatever her motives were...she's more than earned that right as far as I am concerned.