My kids are going with their grandparents next week . . . and I've asked DH to go to work from M-W because I need some peace/quiet/solitude/ME-time. I don't think it's odd that you spent 5 days by yourself . . . I'm going to spend 3 days alone and I. can't. wait. Warmly, Tricia

Hi Shelly in IL, I'm interested in your question, although from a different angle . . . do you think deep down that the other children are making your child feel "left out"? We often struggle with the vibe that our boys aren't inclusive . . . we've been in this exact situation you've described except on the other end. I'm torn between telling my boys to always look to include but balance that with the fact that they're kids and sometimes just want to play without the trickiness. Kids don't have the same sense of social refinement - we're always looking to teach and guide, but I find my boys gravitate to the other easy kids. KWIM? My heart beats for the outsiders, but that's my spiritual gifting and it's a tall order for kiddies to get that all the time. I really feel for you and your dilemma. I hope you can find a way to show your oldest that he has lots to offer in a friendship. Warmly, Tricia

Yes, Kelli . . . and I admire your courage to speak your deepest about how you listened to your heart and transitioned into a different kind of parent/discipline style. I have deep respect for people like you . . . I'm not proud to admit this, but I too followed the Ezzo "stuff" closely with my first child. (I could probably find some different words but for the sake of politeness, I'll call it "stuff") Thankfully, by the time #2 came along, I'd flushed the books, jumped wholeheartedly in AP and am so very thankful that we were led along that path. I'm talking about the article that was linked at the very beginning of this thread. There was no good reason for me to start Canada Day off with that bunch of baloney. sigh. I know many folks are reading this thread, rolling their eyes and thinking we should be more "biblical" in our child rearing . . . that's what makes me crazy. There is nothing biblical about beating/whipping/switching a child into submission. Warmly, Tricia

Instead of ignoring specific posters, I would I could wire my WTM account to ignore any and all posts dealing with spanking and abuse. I might be able to stomach these opinions if they weren't always and continually tied to "joy of the Lord" and biblical teaching. I'm pretty sure being switched with plumbing line rarely produces anything but rebellion and I have a funny feeling Jesus would be much more interested in relationship with our kids instead of beating them????? A parent can have firm boundaries, demand and expect obedience and do that gracefully and lovingly . . . without a rod and without using violence as their first line of discipline. Note to self: Don't read the Pearl articles, ever. Stick to the curriculum board.

Whops -- I've only given rep twice and didn't leave my name either time -- soooooooooooo, Nancypants and Doran -- that was me. xoxoxoxo

I sing a little jingle in my head, over and over again: You can't always get what you want, no, you can't always get what you want. We have three children -- the third was my stretch goal and after that, there would be no more. DH was finished with 2 so I keep telling myself to be thankful for the princess that rounded off the gang.

I don't "scold" other people's children, but I have no problem gathering a group of children and explaining how to play with each other gently. I tend not to single out specific kids yet if children are in a group and not acting appropriately, then I have no issues interrupting play for the sake of the greater good, ie: someone getting hurt.

My vote: Hugs. Lots of them. Affection does wonders for a woman. :grouphug: Ice Cream. A little bit of the best quality. A reality check? Well, if anyone on this board has a good grasp of reality, it's probably you. I'll speak to the running thing. I'm a penguin. I accept that I'm not a natural runner but I can run, and enjoy what the experience holds for me, despite where I place. Finally, be true to yourself . . . whatever that means for you. If dairy farming, homeschooling, dated farm house, bickering kids and dry marriage is pushing you to the brink of insanity, than something has to give. I really believe that we all know what we need to do for ourselves . . . it's just finding the courage to do it. Sometimes healing tears work for me . . . I just barf up my deepest crazy in my private prayer times and ask God to help me. It usually sounds like this: "I'm all done, now. I can't do this life one more second. They're all making me crazy. I've got nothing left. I've given this family my best and I'm at the end. You've just gotta help me. Please?" Usually, He throws me some peace, revelation or a little extra and I can make it. Living there perpetually is hard on a girl -- usually indicative of making necessary change. I'm definitely a pot calling the kettle black right now, because I stink at making space for myself . . . but I know that I can't function without a bit of air to breathe. Wishing you well, T

Oh Kelli - you're so funny. Tell me, as I peek into this "tripped out classroom" :001_smile: give me the specs of these high quality laptops. I'm so clueless, and there is nothing worse than walking into BestBuy without any idea what you're looking for . . . you know those 20 something kids (salespeople) are gonna :001_rolleyes: and I'll feel like an antiquated stay@home mom. Suggestions?

I'm crawling out from underneath this rock to tell you that I've never heard of "vista" . . . I guess I'll have to chat with dh about this . . . who knew such an innocent question would lead me straight into this deep fog of technology. :confused::confused::confused: Truthfully, I don't even know the difference between a Mac and a PC.:001_huh: T

Hi Hivers: I'm attempting to balance our "savvy spending" with thinking that a lap top specifically used for hs and kid-use would really make my life lovely. I'm thinking a lap top not connected to the internet, but the boys could have easier access to their NXT lego download. As I started to think about it, I also have some music games, an computer encyclopedia disk, human body disk, a typing program etc etc . . . the temptation to do mindless "mini-clip" would be completely avoided on our family computer. I don't want to spend money needlessly, and I know this is a *want* -- does anyone else have a laptop for their littles, with just their stuff on it?? My boys are almost 8 and 10. Hmmmmmmmmm. Tricia

I'm UP because the renovations on the semis are finished . . . just about finished.:tongue_smilie: I'm UP because we're almost finished an entire year of Math! :D I'm UP because I'm getting together this morning with a whole bunch of local homeschooler's that I've not met before! :lol: Happy Friday, all!

The realtor we used to buy our first home frequently rolled her eyes at me . . . never dh. She never got our business again . . . and since then, we've bought 4 houses and sold 2. Costly eye-rolls, imho. A good realtor will let you talk, emote, feel -- do the whole thing . . . that's his job, as well as getting you a great price for your home. I'd be fuming -- more than just "processing" and I wouldn't use him again, ever. Warmly, Tricia

Happy Dance here -- great deal! Happy to be excited for you!

Congratulations, you are a "gatherer" -- a wonderful quality, I dare say. I'm a gatherer - I love having people in. I betcha I have a 5 :1 ratio -- I invite people in or to do something 5 times for every 1 time I get invited to do something. I kinda like it this way . . . I invite into my schedule and when it works for me. I edit to say that many of the mom's I know don't want their quiet afternoons interrupted by littles -- I'm generally happy to have the buzz and action at our house. I would consider calling and asking if your kiddies could have a play-date at their house. Some folks need a little gentle prodding . . . Be encouraged. Tricia

We made quite a few of these last year for Christmas gifts -- they look a bit "girlie" with the ribbon so for the boys, we used a big snap to keep the pencil wrap together. Don't cheap-out on ribbon . . . I bought the cheapest type the first time around, and the ribbon split from the wrap. Purchase proper cloth-like ribbon, even though it's a bit more money. This was a great project, and we had alot of compliments on it. Tricia

You've offered some great ideas for print-making -- I'm going to collect some of those items for our children. I've been meaning to buy some "real" watercolour paper - Thank you for chiming in. Tricia

We brought home a little desk that sits in our kitchen area -- 6 drawers keep everything together and an art closet close by holds the bigger items. I was inspired by a poster here, about having art supplies accessible -- instead of turning to the computer or easy entertainment, my kiddies gravitate towards the art stuff. Once the ball gets rolling, it quickly and effortlessly picks up steam. Tricia

googly eyes tissue paper of various colours ribbon fabric scraps $$$ Store finds -- letters, beads, curly hair air dry clay letter stampers pipe cleaners National Geographic magazines for collage. That's about it for us

Hi Kay in Cal, You're right -- I'm being very vague because I'm not into slime-ing people and as I've mentionned before, one of these ladies is in my current church community and there are regular posters here that attend my church therefore, I do not wish to partake in triangulization (a fancy church word for gossip). Sooooooo, to answer your question . . . these are not horrible women. I would say that both of these women tend to land on the "I'll stick my head up my butt and try to forget that I've hurt Tricia . . . and she'll get over it like she always does." And I always do, but I'm not sure I get over it in a healthy way. I end wearing other's peoples cr*p in an attempt to make sense of a situation. What I am trying to figure out is how to extend a spirit of reconciliation without being stupid. People p*ss me off all the time, and within seconds it falls like water off a ducks back. I'm a classic "see the best in everyone" type-of-gal . . . so this is uncharted waters for me . . . holding someone accountable for their blatant insensivity by not fully engaging in the friendship. Your closing comment is definitely something I've struggled with over the years. Perhaps I'm being lead into deeper relational waters with people in my community/family . . . and it is uncomfortable. Does that make sense? Since I posted a few days ago, I've continually prayed for God's peace and healing, and remember that His justice is perfect and His love, unconditional. Warmly, Tricia

Coming from a gal that played hoops my entire undergrad career, was awarded numerous regional awards and even a national award my senior year, lived and died and breathed basketball . . . I agree . . . big waste of time. I'll put my kids in tennis, rowing, tae-kwon-doh, swim team . . . and if they're dying to play a team-sport, then sure . . . but not because I think they'll miss out if they don't. Team sports are highly over-rated, imho. Inexperienced coaches, over-the-top parents, spoiled kids . . . ummmmmmmmm, no thank you. Ok folks, I'm off my soap box. Tricia

I would read tons of good kidlit, picture books, familiarize myself with the classic story-tellers, buy yourself a Five in a Row book for ideas. I would look at a websites promoting toddlers and art. I would teach my child sign language -- and more than just a handful of words. I would familiarize myself with the homeschool lingo: WTM Charlotte Mason Unschooling etc etc, not that you have to choose a style, but that you have an idea of what's out there for resources. Most importantly, I would just have fun with my child. I would do anything for a do-over during those toddler, especially for my oldest but in all honesty, I know so much more now, after hs'ing for 4 years than I ever knew then. I wish I would have puzzled, play-doh'ed, painted, glued and had teddy-bear picnics as often as we could. I wish I'd made funny puppets, told funny stories and loved-on them harder! Warmly, Tricia

I had a very involved dream starring SWB. I had invited her over for tea and everything went wrong . . . it was like I was the ying to her yang. Her kids were pontificating about any and every subject known to man and my oldest, who is a really good reader IRL, forgot how to read. My youngest was acting beyond naughty . . . my ds #2 wouldn't share ---- it was a whole nightmare of crazy, symbolizing my deepest inner-fear that I could never measure up. Finally, SWB gathers her children, and on her way out the door (of our intensely messy rental semi we were in at the time) leaves and her parting words were . . . "just be what you are." (Karen, our lead pastor's wife says this to me all the time and brings me such great comfort). After that dream, I felt released to homeschool my way, with my goals and vision for our kidlets. It brought tremendous peace and comfort. That's my SWB dream. Warmly, Tricia

:iagree: If I weren't so committed to homeschooling, I would not be into the stay-at-home thing. Quite frankly, I admire women who manage to stay connected with their partners, love-on their kids and have a job they love. Truthfully, I hope there's an "after-hs'ing" phase that I can fall into and enjoy like I've enjoyed hs'ing. We're all so very diverse, and I like it that way. (Exactly what Erica in PA said -- yup, that's what I think too!) Cheerio, Tricia

Sahamamama, your story certainly resonates with me. Last summer, I experienced a very similiar episode with my sil. We didn't have the explosive, temper issues . . . it was much more subtle, but I had to drop my pie-in-the-sky ideas of a romantic, tight, close-knit relationship between our families and recognize that I valued our relationship much more than she did. It broke something in me and I still haven't all the way recovered. I refused to see the truth of our friendship because I so badly wanted to walk closely with her and have our children be close. I think you've shown exceptional relational maturity and wisdom as you love your sister. Love does not equal door-mat. Thank you for taking the time to post. xoxo Tricia