Those factors were where the nutrigenomics professional we saw were so very helpful. She knows more than I ever will about the subject, and she knew ahead of time what order to introduce supplements and how to avoid certain things and slowly increase dosages. She told me specific symptoms to watch for and what to do if those symptoms showed (like how much to cut dosage or whether to cut the supplement completely). The two-hour initial consultation was under $150 when we did it a couple years ago (not sure of prices now). And she was awesome about promptly answering all my follow-up email questions. If I needed further phone consultation, it was billed per half hour (and I don't remember the rate, but it was reasonable too). Both my kids had protocols that were implemented in stages, and they both did very well.

We did a Skype consultation and follow-up visits with Cynthia Smith, a nutrigenomics practitioner. (Google Cynthia Smith, Life Zone Wellness.) Her help was valuable to us as she did look at all of the genetic mutations (our son has homozygous MTHFR ) from his 23andme test. She set up a supplement program and diet revisions that were designed to help with gut and absorption issues and slowly increase acceptance of methylated vitamin B. We also consulted with her for our older daughter. Although her mutations are not as impactful, Cynthia determined some things that our daughter does not break down well (fats and magnesium) and helped us address those issues. Her rates were very affordable when we worked with her a couple years ago. As for vitamins, our son now uses ProThera's VitaPrime, daily, and Seeking Health's Active B12 lozenge, every other day. He had to work up to these with other B products first though.

I'm enjoying two things about the responses in this thread: 1. It is cool how many posters either cannot relate because this kind of issue is so foreign to them or they do experientially understand how emotions can get tied to the unimportant but have a mutually caring marriage and lovingly work on differences. Both are great ways to model healthy relationship to your children! (Plus, it's not bad for those of us who grew up in dysfunctional homes to see specific examples of working things out.) 2. I always learn a lot on these boards from those with different paradigms from my own. (I rarely post but frequently lurk!) From other posts I have been reminded in many ways to live a life of grace toward my husband (which I know, but the examples, reminders, and perspectives are helpful), and to take responsibility for my own health/joy (something I hadn't thought through). Instead of being unhappy about dh's choices, I continue to work on allowing him the freedom to be his own person and, if it affects the children and me, to give myself the freedom to do things like go to events or on trips without him (or buy the brand of chocolate I like, remember that post?), rather than missing things and being upset.

Yes, I agree with the posters that the glass example is a little thing, but I think the author is writing about an accumulative attitude—one that disregards a wife's feelings and preferences. If a husband puts gas in his wife's car, thanks her for his laundry magically appearing in the drawers, and is generally invested and part of the team, then a glass left out by the sink wouldn't probably have the same emotional impact. I think it might also matter how secure a woman is in herself and what kind of home she came from. My dad's job required him to work out of state (we saw him at Christmas and in the summer), and he was emotionally distant and not involved in our family's life. My mom was critical and a person's value was very tied to their work/success (even in cleaning up after oneself when baking, etc.). So I think my background makes this an area that can be more difficult for me because I might have kind of a validation void. If there are always dirty dishes waiting to be put in the dishwasher, plus a spouse who doesn't know his wife's preferences in anything from food to color to movies or books...if all of the effort to connect (spend time together, talk, etc.) comes from one spouse...if the husband doesn't spend any time talking with or playing with the children or his wife...then the little stuff fuels the insecurity. I'm not referring specifically to my family here, but I can definitely see how little (and bigger) neglectful things could cause an emotional hurricane. I recognize that many thoughtless things we all do are not meant with enmity. I also recognize that I can feel devalued—almost invisible—like what I say or think does not only not matter but can't be heard...doesn't exist. That is when I can see women perhaps lashing out over the insignificant or, as in the article, deciding not to invest in the marriage anymore. It could be fighting against the invisibility—screaming to be heard, even if she sounds like a raving lunatic, just to be recognized and to exist. That might not make sense to anyone else as we all feel things so differently. It's interesting how we sometimes have a different view of value and respect when we think of children rather than adults. If our child asked us to please not leave our coffee mug on her nightstand every night after we read her a story, most of us would probably make an effort not to leave it there every night—not because we couldn't pick it up in the morning, but just because we love our child and would like to respect her wishes.

I thought this was interesting as a tag-on to the board conversations about the article where the woman was upset about her husband bringing home the "wrong" hamburger and the discussions about loading-the-dishwasher frustration. http://mustbethistalltoride.com/2016/01/14/she-divorced-me-because-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink/

I agree with Dirty Ethel's post above. I learned about executive processing skills late in the game. (My son was midteens.) Suddenly everything made so much more sense! Lists can help people with EP issues, but they do not work well for my son. He can't work with linear, sequential things and make sense out of them. I helped where I could with organizational go-tos, but mostly I needed to change my expectations (which helped my inner exasperation). At 18, my son still has weak executive processing skills—pretty much across the board. But he has finished a graphic design course at a technical college with great grades and is living a state away working in the Colorado Rockies and doing fantastic. Traditional schoolwork may never be his forte, but he is amazing with people and wildly creative artistically. Parenting him was harder than parenting our other children. Also, he struggled mightily with his self-image, but riding the crest of the chaos and making sure he knew/knows I love him and think he is awesome made so much difference. Edited to add: There are books on how to strengthen executive functioning skills that might be helpful, both to identify particular areas of weaknesses and for strategies for how to address those areas.

Plum Crazy, I love that idea! I have been thinking about buying gift cards for McDonalds or a local grocery store to carry with me to give, but then I have thought it might be hard for some people to travel to the destinations and get groceries home—especially in winter. Maybe I could tuck the gift cards in a care package like you described. Thanks for sharing! ETA: Just realized I said "get groceries home." I'm thinking of those I see who aren't necessarily homeless in my town but have signs asking for work and/or help.

6packofun, I'm not sure about security in the Utah model. I did notice it said that doors to the outside are locked and people have to be buzzed into the building. At a version of the "housing first" model in Washington DC, "security is provided by a combination of security officers, remotely monitored cameras, and secured door access." Here is the link to that article: http://www.leoadaly.com/about/press/leo-a-daly-and-studio-twenty-seven-architecture-honored-for-la-casa-permanent-supportive-housing-in-washington-dc/ I agree with you that I didn't have high expectations when I saw the first article but was encouraged by what I read.

This topic has the potential to spin off in many directions. What struck me about the article was that it seemed like a fresh approach to me and, even more, a statistically successful one! When I have read board discussions about homelessness (especially related to mental illness) I have wondered what could be done. It especially impacted me when I read posts here about people with loved one who have unmedicated bipolar or other issues and about how so many people fall through the cracks. I also read with interest the many perspectives about the ramifications of closing mental health asylums and how some of those residents became homeless. So, this article cheered and encouraged me that there is an out-of-the-box solution that in some cities seems to be very workable—even affordable!

That's what I found so interesting in the article. They don't require residents to get clean. I would have imagined that would cause all kinds of crime and disorder. But the statistics for the programs show the majority of residents successfully stay and that overall costs to the community decrease. At one point in the article it stated that having a home actually helps provide stability for those who are struggling with mental illness, drug addiction, etc. I found the whole concept refreshing, as I have learned (through this very board :001_smile:) a lot about homelessness and the problems of what to do for those who are mentally unable to live alone and can't/won't progress through a typical homeless shelter/halfway house type of program. It seems, in this program, that there are services provided for those who are willing, but that the focus of Housing First is to address the homelessness first instead of having requirements people must meet before they can be housed. ETA: They do house only the "long-term" homeless. So, I don't know if that makes a difference with the types of people they serve.

I had not heard of Housing First and found this approach instructive and hopeful. Are some of you involved with this program in your communities? http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2015/02/housing-first-solution-to-homelessness-utah

My daughter, who was in a ballet trainee program in Chicago, worked at a Wendy's for about a year where she was the only one who didn't smoke marijuana at work. The managers loved her because she was the most dependable and most complimented employee, but it was a tough place to work. We are all thankful that she is not working there anymore. She graduated from that program and accepted a contract in Connecticut where she is happily dancing and doing online work assessing websites. ETA: I agree with others that these things happen in all types of places. This was not a restaurant in a questionable area of Chicago; it was in a nice southwestern suburb.

I have used the FemCap, along with Contragel Green, for the last couple of years and have really liked it.

And, oddly, my mom gave me the middle name "Joan" and it is pronounced...Jo-anne. Why, you may join me in asking? Because that is her middle name and spelling, and my grandparents were taught that was the pronunciation of Joan of Arc when they were in school in the 1920s. Go figure.

Yes, I've been that mom too. It really helped me when I had a kind of mini-revelation that, now that they were older, I could be a coach. I thought a lot about how I could think and act like I was on their side—their team—not in opposition to them. (I had great athletic and choral coaches who believed in us—the group—and motivated us to achieve great things.) I don't know if that makes sense to others, but—although the tasks did not change—my attitude shift helped me better enjoy the journey and helped us relationally.

Well, I will add a sprinkle of hope, too. I had a whistle when mine were little because they literally could not hear me trying to get their attention since they were all three talking. One little whistle, and they all looked at me or came running. Car rides were bad (counting, talking, etc. on 12-hour trips). There was a time when I felt like I was about to lose it from all the noise. But mine are now 20, 18 and 15, and the 20 year old lives across the country. Somewhere in the transformation from little and chatty to young adults, the constant talking stopped. We actually have conversations now, and when we all get together, there is lots of laughter and happy sharing...with healthy quiet too. Just wanted to throw that out there in case it encourages anyone! :)

Progesterone cream works well for me too. We also use GABA-Centered Px at our house when anyone is having trouble sleeping—especially when our brains are going too fast at night.

Missouri and eastern Kansas might be good fits. The cost of living is low and both states have low cost (or no tuition while in high school) community colleges. You might like the Springfield, Missouri area. The Ozark area is really pretty and woodsy. We have lived in the Kansas City, Missouri area and in Topeka, Kansas. Both areas have lots of opportunities for homeschoolers and little regulation, as well as fine arts opportunities.

I wanted to add that I have frequently contacted the owner with questions before reserving lodging. You could email the couple of the listing you're interested in (through airbnb—click on their name and you will find the link to contact them on their profile page). You could ask if the area is safe late at night when you would be returning, if there is off-street parking, etc. According to your comfort level, you could even tell them you are new at this and a little uncertain about the airbnb experience.

We have used airbnb in Chicago, rural Nebraska, Colorado Rockies, Milwaukee, and Greenville, SC. We love it. Sometimes we have rented a whole house/apartment, sometimes a room. It is not like a traditional hotel stay, but we enjoy meeting the hosts (have met some really lovely people), having use of a kitchen (not always available), and of course saving money. I have always felt safe.

Some teens don't ovulate when they have a menstual cycle, so their bodies don't release extra progesterone. Our daughter had horrible cramping that caused her to vomit and pass out. We found out at the doctor that she was estrogen dominant. They prescribed a low dose of progesterone, and that took care of the problem for her. Hope you find something soon that works!

I'll second airbnb.com. We have had great experiences in multiple states. I just did a super-quick search (so won't swear for my accuracy) for San Diego and saw one for $80 a night that will sleep nine, renters get a whole floor to themselves, and the house has an outdoor spa that guests can use. Also, we love that we can use the kitchen with airbnb rentals which saves money and is relaxing after a busy day of vacation. We have booked through airbnb in rural Nebraska, Chicago, Milwaukee and Evergreen, Colo. We have met some great people traveling this way.

I'm a professional editor, and my answer won't help much. The company I work for defers the decision to the client. So the good news is, your decision won't be wrong whatever you do! I think all of the above advice is great. When I have edited diaries, I made changes to retain consistency (for example, dates written in the same format) and small punctuation changes to aid readability.

Thanks for sharing what you learned firsthand! I tried to coach dd as she grew up, and she does a pretty good job of trying to address issues with people (not just being a doormat) and a great job of involving someone in authority when things get out of hand. She and my husband are both quirky and creative and, for dd, it seems people either enjoy her fun, unique personality or find her annoying. She is a wonderfully kind young woman, but gets flack for just "stuff" that is part of her and in no way needs changing. She will have to live with this certain group of girls for the next couple years (trainee house), so distancing herself isn't an option. That's why she is looking for specific tools in how to develop the assertiveness that tends to put off bullies.

OK, I just spent some time researching. In case anyone is looking for similar help. I think we'll try "Stand Strong" by Nick Vujcic and, maybe, "Speaking the Truth in Love—How to Be an Assertive Christian" by Koch. These seem to deal more with the bullying aspect.