In special ed eligibility, you're looking for adverse effect on academics. So, a kid could have very low processing speed but if he's learned to compensate, the low processing speed might not have an adverse effect on his academics. So, if all of his scores on the academic testing are average/low-average, he likely will not qualify for academic interventions. It's important to realize that just having a disability does not automatically qualify someone for interventions. It may automatically qualify them for an accommodation plan (i.e., 504). It might be different in different states. It can be a frustrating situation!

I read this title to mean, Things You've Lost In Your Own House, and Can't Find. I was like... everything! I can never find anything in my house! lol.

Since oldest is just missing their license, I'd say just drive. Getting pulled over is unlikely if they're usually careful driving. My DH drives all the time and forgets his wallet. I don't think it's illegal to drive without your license physically on you, is it?

Oh wow! That's exactly it!!!

I'm not sure about an exit interview. I'll find that out. Like you, I'm also not convinced that they're not micromanaging just for the heck of it. The manners/behavior is just one example, and I can understand the reasoning behind it, even though I think the way it's being communicated is faulty. Other sources of complaints are much less important (like using a certain app in the classroom, or not - why some people care about whether a fellow teacher is using a certain app or not, I really can't fathom!). I think that the teachers that have been there for 15-30 years have maybe melded their work lives and personal lives together over the decades, so what happens at the school, even if it doesn't directly affect them, really matters to them.

I'll be using that for sure! They may be shocked to have a specific list laid out for them. I never thought about analytical types vs. feelers. I'll have to mull that over! It's good that your husband could learn to communicate more clearly! I'm going to force the issue with these vague talkers. You're right, they probably think they're communicating clearly, but their behavior shows that they expect others to read their minds.

I understand this completely ❤️

Yay! That's great news!

I'd like to hear an example of this! My example to my colleague was this. Imagine some teachers say to me, "We really love dogs!" and I reply, "That's great, I also love dogs!" Then two weeks later, I hear that people are saying to each other, "We told her that we love dogs! Why on earth hasn't Kanin adopted a dog yet?!"

It's more than just chit-chat about the school. Picture a meeting about a student where X teacher wants student disciplined for doing something. Kanin thinks what the kid deserves a talking-to, but not a punishment. Other teacher then reiterates that there are very high behavioral expectations at this school. I'm probably not explaining it well, but I've probably hear the "high behavioral/manners expectations" line 25 times this year (not always directed at me). I'm always like, Uh huh, yup, me too!

Actually, they're not younger. I would say in the 45-60 range. The younger teachers don't seem to need to control everyone else's actions.

Ugh! That would bug me. I'm with you - why bring it up if it's not directed at anyone there?

Your first paragraph is exactly what I would like in terms of communication! I can't think of much that happens in my room that affects anyone else directly. There may have been a school focus on behavior at some point, but it's not currently an initiative. This core group of teachers have worked there for 15-30 years so there's a lot of history there. My theory is that they've developed their own culture and way of communicating over many years, so much so that they don't realize that other people don't automatically understand it. Admin is not perturbed by my students in the least.

I'm sure they're not thinking that you hear from everyone. Would be a wake up call for them if they realized it!

Yes, perhaps this wasn't the best example. The message is loud and clear that something about my management style is amiss (in their minds), but I'm not clear on what exactly is bugging them. Kids too loud? So-and-so ran in the hall? What? I'm not sure I want to hear that my classroom management skills are abysmal, but specific feedback would be helpful. I agree that they're wondering why I can do X thing without X thing being pointed out.

I have not, yet. Now I think I have a handle on the people who have concerns, and what their concerns might be. It will be interesting to see what their reasons are for not coming directly to me.

@stephanier.1765 Just wondering how your cat is feeling?

I have tried. With one person, I specifically asked them if they had ANY issues with anything I'm doing, and they said no. And then I hear that they're griping to someone else about me. I think you're right - workplace gossip is a huge issue here. Plus the indirect communication style. I really want to get to the bottom of things and make this better, rather than lasting another year and switching schools, but it's very wearing.

We're all in the northeast so I'm not sure what's going on here. My DH says it's like a school in Twin Peaks.

Lol. Oh dear, I never even thought it was ME they think is unmannerly! Cue the overthinking. 😆 I desperately do want to be extremely unmannerly! I'm sure they think I'm too blunt.

Well, that was not one of the more vague examples. I fully get that they think I'm not enforcing manners enough. What they're annoyed about, in this example, is clear. However... exactly what they want me to do to this area is not clear to me. Should I insist that little Johnny never run or skip in the hall? Do they think some of my students are too loud? What exactly is bugging them? These are the details I need.

Ha. Yes. This absoutely! I've been doing the smile/agree/move on thing, but it's getting annoying to hear through the grapevine that people are dissatisfied with things I'm doing/not doing. And in some cases these are people who are not even involved with my work, at all.... so why do they care?

Mmmm. Good thought! I think that could definitely be the case here.

Wow! So weird, right? I'm glad I'm not alone. But I feel your frustration! Does it come from teachers trying to put a positive spin on stuff, or something?

My school work situation continues to be strange. I had an earlier post about a coworker who was pushed out because she just couldn't take the pressure anymore. I've been having trouble all year with communication. I think I communicate with a fellow teacher, and then find out that said teacher is unsatisfied. This has happened quite a few times. I finally talked to a somewhat "senior" teacher to figure this out. After working here for almost a year, I have a theory about their communication style, so I asked her if it was possible that the teachers were throwing out hints and expecting me to act on the hints. She said, probably yes. An example of this would be someone saying: "We think manners are really important at this school." Apparently that's the hint, and I'm supposed to pick up on it and emphasize manners more with my students. When I don't, people get flustered that I'm not on Team Manners. I tried to explain to this teacher that people need to be REALLY BLUNT with me if they want me to do something differently. I said, "I need people to say, "Hey, Kanin, I think you're not making your students say please and thank you enough. It's upsetting me. I really want you to do that." The senior teacher looked surprised when I said it, and was like, "Ohhhh, so you want people to be that clear with you?" Um, yes I do! I've never worked somewhere where direct communication is NOT the normal communication style. I do not get offended easily. I've never felt the need to pussyfoot around in conversations with other people. I'm not rude, but I am factual and I think I communicate pretty clearly with people. Working here is messing with my perception of myself and other people. I feel like I can't trust anything certain people say, because we just can't seem to communicate with each other. (I think they're bad at communicating, and they think I'm bad at it!) Help! How do I fix this?!