Yes, I'd probably pull back from those friends also. Only possible way I'd be willing to continue would be if 1. You and A's mom are friends and have similar behavior standards for your kids; and 2. You and A's mom can both be present, jointly, to supervise. No other activities during the visit, just both of you supervising all the kids together and agreeing about what is and is not acceptable. That way everyone sees everything, and there's no question about what has actually happened. Having said that, I don't have as many kids as you do, and I don't know if this is possible. If it isn't, I'd just be too busy to get together, and look for friends who are a better fit.

I guess this would depend... musing... If we were in a city with plenty to do locally, that would probably be fine for a month or so. Might even add to the fun. We're used to looking after all sorts of animals. Then we could move on to somewhere without animals, to enable us to travel more. That's a good idea, thanks!

Thanks, this gives me good ideas for research. Yes, I could have fun teaching English, I think. My impression was that getting those jobs in Europe was pretty hard, but it's worth looking into.

Oh my, Italy, yes. But I have to figure out *how.* I am convinced this is possible, but have to work out the ways and means, kwim? I'm a planner. This way I get to extend the enjoyment the loooongesst possible time. 😉

Has anyone done home exchanges? How plausible is it to think about a someday-post-Covid, long-term (3-6 month, maybe more) home exchange in order to travel in the UK and Europe? Or other ways to keep costs down? I'm thinking about after dh retires. Our kids would (hopefully) be independent, but welcome to come along for whatever time worked for them. Home exchanges sound good to me because we'd be happy to be based in one spot, and flexible about where that spot might be. We could do lots of day trips, and a fair number of longer trips, without the cost of paying for lodging every.single.night. We could largely cook for ourselves. We could get to know a community. When we reached the end of our tourist visa time, we could go do the same in another country. Our own home is nothing spectacular, but it's comfortable, in an area people come to visit. We could exchange it for a period of time, or rent it. We would probably not be interested in hostels at this point in our lives, but would be open to short term home rentals, depending on cost. Working would probably not be an option, but volunteering might be. Anyone else interested in this sort of travel, or already have experience with it?

HaloLife masks and filters here too.

This probably varies enormously, but one thing I'd like to point out is that this ship has already sailed in my area, years ago. I have a choice of, let's see, 5 large national and international grocery chains, plus Wal-Mart, to shop in. No local grocers. Lowe's, Home Depot, and another national chain for hardware. No local hardware store. Two national chain bookstores, no local bookstore. I *am* shopping at an outside, semi-local farm stand for fresh produce. But, for most of my purchases, I have no local option. So, buying things from Amazon, or getting them shipped from one of the other national chains, has no effect on local small businesses, because largely, outside of restaurants and specialty places which are more focused on luxuries than needs, those local small businesses have been gone for years. Obviously, this varies. But for some, this just isn't an issue. Eventually I'll have to get some work done on the house, and that *is* necessarily local. But I'll need to know they're taking this seriously before I let them in.

Just wanted to add that once you find what the root issues are and the most helpful way to address them, things can get so much better. I've seen tremendous growth over the years. Life is much easier than it once was. So, don't despair.

For us, these ended up being part of the inflexible thinking of autism. Please do consider an evaluation. It doesn't necessarily look like you expect it to. Maybe that isn't the answer for you, but it's a question you can get answered, and could offer real help. I'll also urge The Explosive Child. "Children do well when they can" should be engraved over every pediatrician's and school's doors. And, many hugs. This is hard.

Fwiw, there's an incredible image of the storm, seen from space, here. Smoke from fires in California also visible, though not as obvious. https://mobile.twitter.com/EricHolthaus/status/1298666070476296193

Looks like it's up to a Cat 4 now. The warnings are genuinely scary: the National Hurricane Center used the term "unsurvivable". https://mobile.twitter.com/NHC_Atlantic/status/1298638836197548035 Please get out now if you're in this area.

See, I think testing as part of a staggered move makes all kinds of sense, because it shows just what your school found: how many students, roughly, are bringing the virus in. Dd's school is getting on my last nerve because they aren't going to test. They say it isn't epidemiologically sound. I grant that there will be false negatives, but fail to see how a complete lack of information is preferable. Which brings us to this point: Predominantly in-state population, bingo. I could summon up more willingness to pay for more than we are likely to receive this year, if the school would spare us the hassle of moving dd in, possibly having her exposed to covid, possibly having her sit in quarantine for two weeks, possibly having her get sick, and then sending her home again. Kwim? Grumble grumble grumble. I hope it works out all right for your ds.

How long have the kids been in dorms? Or are they testing as part of moving in? (Wondering what trajectory to expect for dd's school...)

I'm so glad!

Okay, thanks. I was going through old books today and remembered that thread. Hope the virtual option works well for them; my younger dd is doing the same here.

@MedicMom, was it you who mentioned knowing someone who wanted to homeschool her kids but really couldn't afford curriculum? Does she still need books?

Their dd is having problems. I'm glad both parents are making her a priority.

Hugs, Mercy. So much is hard right now.

I wish Jerry Falwell Jr would go away and be quiet.

It sounds like you, personally, are at at least some elevated risk. That is a serious concern. Your in-laws are at elevated risk, but may (?) not be seriously isolating. If that's the case, they are exposing all of you now. Do your ILs need contact with you as badly as your dd needs contact with her friends? Would it be possible to trade out for a while? Would your dd feel able to carry a smallish hepa filter (with UV if possible) with her, and would the other families feel insulted if she did? I wouldn't make that a hill to die on, but it could provide a bit of extra protection.

In that case, if you think your dh's summation is essentially accurate, you make sure she masks, encourage whatever outdoor stuff you can, but make the best decision for *your* child*. And then make sure she isn't in a position to pass infection to others. You're in a hard spot, but you have depression and anxiety to balance against covid. I would probably allow it, with excellent masks, but pull back from some other exposures. * I'm thinking of "teach the child in front of you." You have to protect the child in front of you, and that means she needs some social contact . But try not to let that additional Covid risk spread to others.

Would one of those self-contained, outside screened "porch" enclosures help? (I don't know how expensive those are...) Could that, with cheap, comfortable chairs or chaise lounges (and maybe a long extension cord for devices), plus a fire pit outside tempt them at all, at least as an occasional place for their get togethers? I think, given the situation you've outlined, I'd allow it, but I'd be going over the top to provide the best outside teen hangout spots anyone could imagine. S'mores makings, pizzas, heck, if they want to furnish the place to match a role-playing game I'd be all in.

Posting a picture might help this kitty follow JoJo's example. 😁 I wish we could take her, but we're at our limit.

Can I just say that I love your mother and her cousin? What kind people!

If you like lentils, lentil and tomato pie is one of our favorites. https://www.food.com/recipe/lentil-and-tomato-pie-341854