Oh that stinks, sorry. Can you go back and clarify?

Want to add I did see a picture of the frat in question, it's like 3 dozen rather dorky looking guys. College is such silliness sometimes.

Hooking up meant the same thing in the 90s as it does now. Definitely a sexual encounter. Not necessarily a one night stand, though, these are not huge fraternities and sororities, the people in them do generally know one another or have heard of each other. I'm pretty new here, still feeling it out, but I really did mean it as a rhetorical device, not a way to hurt someone's feelings. This board seems refreshingly frank in that way.

There are plenty of reasons to condescend to this particular woman, but I just didn't see how "small vocabulary" applied. Many great writers swear like truckers. David Mamet could teach the writer of that letter 38 different variations on her themes.

You used the word "I" over and over again, do you have a small vocabulary?

The Guardian is trolling for controvery. Yawn.

I refuse to cede the word "patriot" to those I don't agree with. For example, I have my grave doubts about the Patriot Act (signed into law by George W. Bush, certain portions extended by Barack Obama). Doesn't mean I am not a patriot. In fact I think those doubts are part of what makes me a good citizen.

I am a Patriot, I wil teach my kids that we live in a wonderful country, and that we have a grave responsibility as citizens to hold our gov't to the highest standards. Protect civil liberties, freedom of speech, freedom of the press. And that we should all serve, or honor those who do. I will also teach my children (eventually) about the many dark chapters in our history, and about good things we can learn from other countries. I will not teach them that we live in the greatest country on earth. It is not a competition, and it's not about nationalism, and it's not about putting down others to feel superior. I will tell them they can be proud to be Americans.

PA - philly cheesestake

Take it to Facebook instead of a letter. It's their discretion to do right by you or not if you send a letter, but if it's on Facebook, they get "credit" from everyone who sees that they handled the situation well. Or, they delete your post, which is an answer of itself. That is when you go to somewhere like Yelp or Tripadvisor.

Electric griddle, often on sale for less than $20 at Kohls, does the trick and keeps the rest of your stove free.

Thanks for this perspective, it helped me understand the OP a little more. Perhaps it is like guns. I grew up so far removed from any form of firearm, in a part of the country that is very left-leaning. If I had to move to, say, Texas, I'd have to get more used to being around people who have guns -- visiting people who keep guns in their home -- knowing people who shoot or collect guns recreationally. While I'd never have to buy a gun or use one, I would have to deal with my discomfort with them in a way I don't have to now. That's the best analogy I can come up with for this.

You'll be fine. Breathe. Worst case, you have to excuse yourself a few minutes earlier than you'd like in order to be home at the time you're comfortable with. And tell your daughter to not hesitate to call 911 if she thinks she needs help. She won't. Don't focus on worst case scenarios. This is one of the GOOD things about having an older kid who wants to help!

I get this, but, I just can't think of another example of a religion where adherents must avoid the presence of others based on behavior. It's unusual. Perhaps it is akin to keeping kosher? Someone who keeps kosher can't (from what I understand) eat from a kitchen that uses utensils or cookware where certain foods have been prepared together. So perhaps the original poster is having an issue similar to a person who keeps kosher going to a potluck dinner. But, even then, that person would be limited in what SHE could eat, but it wouldn't matter what other guests chose to eat. So I really can't think of an analogy.

Why are you supposed to be able to borrow two books? I've never heard of that.

I agree with letting your DH be the one who makes the call here.

John Dickson Carr - his writing is somewhat dated, but it's clean, and his puzzles are good. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Dickson_Carr

That is a very strange reaction to a common phrase - almost combative. Perhaps he was tense due to the funeral?

The only place I can think of where race is explicity an advantage or disadvantage is in college admissions. White students do have some advantage there, actually, because they are much more likely to be admitted to highly selective universities than Asian students (particularly the Ivys..... see http://www.nytimes.c...gue-asian-quota). But in some cases, a black or Hispanic student with worse qualifcations will get a seat in a university over a better qualified white or Asian student, due to the benefits college perceive come from a diverse student body. Which I really do agree with, actually. Meeting people from different backgrounds is an important element of a college education. Plus, our nation is diverse and our univerisites (and workforce) should reflect that. I don't think the likihood that our kids will attend a college with a diverse student body sends us backwards. Quite the opposite.

Yes, white men should not have a right to form a white men's movement.I would not presume black men were racist if they joined a black men's movement (although I am not aware of any such movement). If that sounds unfair, well, it is a drop in the bucket in unfairness in this world. Nothing compared to, say, the fact that 1 in 6 black men spend time in prison, or that 72% of black women are single mothers. And I think anyone who finds those factors less troubling that the fact that white men can't form a white men's movement is not paying attention (or worse).

They are scam artists. They travel the country, loudly annoucing where they are going, and act in the most offensive way possible in order to find a way to sue the city or police or SOMEONE for violating their rights. This group of maybe a dozen people, mostly related. They do it for lawsuit money.

I think you are very wise. Send the note because you feel it is the right thing to do, but, have zero expectations for a future relationship. I am sorry for your losses and wish you as little drama as possible.

I have to say, when I saw the dress on the left, I immediately heard Nina's voice in my head saying "looks expensive!"

Love it, and his follow up article: http://whatever.scal...ting-follow-up/ Especially this response to people who accuse him of being racist and sexist: "Leaving aside entirely that the piece was neither, let me just say that I think it’s delightful that these straight white males are now engaged on issues of racism and sexism. It would be additionally delightful if they were engaged on issues of racism and sexism even when they did not feel it was being applied to them — say, for example,when it’s regarding people who historically have most often had to deal with racism and sexism (i.e., not white males). Keep at it, straight white males! You’re on the path now!" And in response to his not using charts and graphs: "indeed I did not. Also, when I write about tripping over my shoelaces and falling on my ass, I do not preface the comment with a comprehensive discussion of the theory of gravity. For two reasons: One, it’s not needed because for anyone but committed gravity-deniers, the theory of gravity is obvious and taken as read, and two, that’s not the focus of the entry. In the case of the “lowest difficulty setting†entry, I took what I see as the obvious advantages to being straight, white and male in our culture as read. One may of course argue with that assertion, and some did in the previous comment thread, but I have to say I’ve generally found those arguments to be less than compelling [see point about racism and sexism above].

Yup. "I didn't get hired/promoted because I'm a white male" can't possible true every time it is uttered. I am sure it has been assumed more often than it has been true, based on my own experience in hiring. Or, it is a very small factor among many that grows enormous in the eyes of those who feel cheated. The flip side is that if race and gender were never, ever factors, the advantage would go to white men by default. Which is not more fair, is it?