Do you have an inner ear infection or maybe water in your ear?

http://www.thefamilyhomestead.com/laundrysoap.htm By the sounds of it I'm using the same recipe you use. And yes, I'm on city water. You guys have me thinking though. Maybe my clothes aren't as clean as I think they are. :) I'm not getting any funny stares though so probably we're okay.

Our clothes come clean and smell fresh. I don't notice any dinginess.

I know it's not all about being adopted because my other two are adopted as well. I think your line that this child is more intense about everything is a good descriptive of my son (actually both my boys in different ways). One problem I have with this particular boy is that he views rules as suggestions. Which means I'm always correcting everything because he only kind of follows the rules. This has always been the case for him. I think your reminder that I be crystal clear about my expectations and the consequences and then always follow through, is completely necessary. And not engaging . . . well that definitely is a problem I have. I am going to work hard on this. I'm very happy to hear your success story. Thanks.

It's amazing that the same kid that can make my head pop off, makes me laugh a lot.

A few weeks ago I took my kids to a bear (and hiking) safety course put on by our local search and rescue club. I have lived here all my life and in the history of this community there have only been two bear attacks, neither resulting in death, both related to food or cubs. The biggest problem is coming between a mom and her cubs or a bear and it's food. Or surprising a bear. We also have grizzlies which of course is a different can of worms. One interesting note, dogs can be a problem too. If you allow your dog to be off the lead and they chase after a bear, it's also possible they'll bring back a bear to your location if they start running back to you. So, if you have a dog it needs to be under your control. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that in my experience, living in an area where we can easily see a bear everyday, common sense things (like securing your garbage) goes a long way. Bears will usually just leave you alone. BTW the search and rescue guy said more people are killed by deer each year.

My dd (same age) has already gone through this a few years back. We are very open about adoption and provide any information, as appropriate, that we know. In fact, one of our adoptions is an open adoption. We are very forthright with information and support. We are also unwavering in our love for our kids. From the day we took them home we have told them that we are their forever family through the good and the bad. There is no doubt of our love for them. We are open and demonstrative in this. Of course that's not minimize the searching that each of our children have and will do to find their place in this world and I do realize each age will bring uniqueness to this situation. Thank you for this reminder.

It is so hard to keep that balance but of course you're absolutely right. I don't think I consciously pity them and in fact, until my sister pointed it out to me today, I would not have thought I did at all. But obviously to some degree I do or maybe this is just a challenge in my own personality that would have manifested itself in biological or non-biological parenting. Either way, I am now aware of it and I do not want to do my kids any disservice.

The problem is I'm good at meeting the emotional needs and not so good with being an enforcer of the boundaries but I know there's hope for me. After all isn't the first step to progress recognizing the problem. :)

I know good boundaries are necessary and I guess I was just getting sloppy because he hasn't done anything really "bad". It's just hard to be an enforcer but I am surely going to practice.

I love the age my kids are and yet it's uncharted territory. And sometimes I'm not prepared for the ups and downs that are associated with hormones, desire for independence and just life in general. Today is one of those days. I'm dealing with my soon to be 13 yr ds who suddenly thinks he's 42 and can do what he wants. Well that doesn't work for me or for our home. And yet the flip side is I have an overwhelming sense of compassion for each of children, who are adopted and bring with them certain baggage. My sister today told me that I treat my ds like a puppy dog. That is, he does something wrong, I do give out some consequence but then I call him to me, in her words, "come here little puppy" to smooth things over. (I am sure this sounds like nonsense but the reality is I am a huge dog lover, picking up strays and pampering them until they are incorporated into our family. That's why that analogy.) Of course the problem is he isn't a puppy dog and the wrong things need to be corrected because there can be long term consequences. A puppy, well not so much. And btw I don't really think my son is a puppy dog or a stray. I just love him so much that I don't want there to be any friction between us (which I know is unrealistic in parenting.) I have a bark and no bite. All this just to say each stage of parenting sure has it's challenges and sometimes I wish they came with an instruction manual!

It took until now for my dh to convince himself he can live with out the NHL or CFL.

I have to admit I'm new to the idea of using coconut oil but I'm open to the idea.

I just decided (well my dh and I) just decided that we didn't want to let unfiltered junk into our house. Up until now our kids were young enough that we had a lot of control over the t.v. But now that they're older they (okay one kid) would sometimes turn on the t.v. without permission. There is just way too much garbage out there for me to feel comfortable with that (and the commercials are the worst).

Buy some t.v shows on dvd. And movies via our Canadian equivalent of netflix.

The real impetus was one of my children's love of the tube and this same kid has a little maturing to do in the discernment department. :)

And you're right, there really was nothing on anymore.

But he's the one that suggested we cut it and I was all in favour.

I could see that easily happening.

Even though I have never been a big t.v. watcher it's kind of unnerving to turn on the t.v. and have a snowy screen. I think this will be a positive change in our family but like all things I know there'll be an adjustment period. Fortunately the weather is awesome so I know we won't miss it this week. (Maybe during the long winter months but hopefully by then we'll have established new entertainment patterns.) On the bright side we're saving money and probably saving our brains. :001_smile:

http://premier.ca/ I don't have any personal experience with this company but it was recommended to me by somebody. Hope this helps. BTW I think I've linked the Canadian site but the American site is easily navigated to from the Canadian site.

Actually my 11 yr (who turns 12 in November) generally does all the same work the older two do.

I surely didn't mean to imply that I'm never pulling my hair out! :001_smile: It's a journey that's for sure. I guess I realized today how easy it is to see all their faults when in reality they're people just like us . . . good traits and not so good. We've got a long way to go but I'm seeing a lot of progress in many areas of their lives.

My dd turned 13 today and her brother will turn 13 next month. I know people always say time flies but it is unbelievable how true that is. I love my kids at this age. I love to talk with them. I love homeschooling them. I love seeing how they're growing into nice (I know that sounds corny) people. But I'm sad at the reality that all too soon they'll be grown up. Truthfully, although I do not live my life through my kids (well okay maybe the Latin is more for me than them lol!) I can't yet imagine what life will have in store for me during the empty nest era. I guess I'll enjoy each day.

Thank you.