(((Joanne))) I am so sorry for how things have gone for you. I don't have any advice (because I am sure you know every trick in the book) but I wanted to show you some support.

I have no idea what a "fair" rate is, but what you are describing happens with increasing regularity. There always seem to be loopholes, and the large multinational corps with legions of CPAs can find them easily. ;)

I am a really busy person, too, but it has nothing to do with activities with the kids. They actually don't get very many! I get up at 4am to exercise and study for the CPA exam (and pop in here, obviously!) I get everything ready, get the kids up, etc. at 6:30 and we are out the door at 7:10. I work all day and come home around 6. To get up at 4, I need to be in bed by 9. So there are 3 hours to get homework in, dinner, laundry, etc. Once a week I take the boys to Scouts, and every other week the girls go to AHG. I'm tired, tired, tired.

We have a whole range, including a brilliant 14yo who STINKS at academics (his genius is mechanical, and was apparent by age 3.) My 11yo's first measured IQ was 62 and then 9 months later it was 84. Now? Probably even higher - I expect he'll hit well-above average eventually. I have one with low IQ, and it is pretty consistent with his behavior/aptitudes. However, at 10yo he can cook and do landscaping. He'll be fine.;)

Why is a slumber party at a hotel different than a slumber party at a home?

Where we live there isn't anything else within 7-8 miles (not even a school.)

The psychologist who tested him a little over 2 years ago said he had an IQ of 62 and needed to be in special ed to learn life skills. She also said he didn't have ADHD. He functioned on a preschool level in almost all areas. Fast forward through 2 years of meds for ADHD... He made honor roll in a regular classroom with very little in the way of accommodations for his LDs. He is the hardest working kid I know, and it finally paid off. I am so happy for him!

The kid himself told me that CPS had been involved with he and his Dad because he was freaked out that a social worker knew what was going on. She was not familiar with his case (she is in long-term case management.) I imagine that she will speak to his case manager on Monday, letting him or her know what happened. There is no law in NC about a 15yo staying home alone for 4 days. Our county DSS is pretty hands-off; they only get involved in extreme cases. My friend felt it was really iffy give the circumstances. A responsible 15yo with the necessary resources and at least a person to call in an emergency would not have been on their radar at all. Like I said, though, he isn't here anymore and it isn't my problem.

OP was not home all day, so I didn't have the means to answer. I am not sure WHAT is going on here. He told me one thing (his Dad was out of the country) and told my ds another thing (his Dad kicked him out.) I talked to his mother briefly last night, but she lives in NJ, which is where he lived until the past year or so. I don't know for sure where his dad is, and at this point I don't care. All I do know is that I had a kid begging to come home with me last night because he had nowhere to go. I did not want him here, did not want to have to deal with one more thing, and had no interest in hiring a locksmith at $100+ to let the kid into his own house. So, I brought him here. I should have just left him at the school for someone else to worry about. I dropped him off at his friend's house this morning, and he is no longer my problem. I won't get involved in other people's drama in the future. I will say that I found the responses here enlightening, since I tend to be more free-range than most homeschooling parents. I would not have a problem leaving a 15yo home alone under the right circumstances, but I would hope it would not involve him begging places to stay after a high school football game.

He lives in the middle of nowhere, he can't drive, and he wasn't actually home. He was in the closest town to us with nowhere to go. I offered to take him home, but then he would've been riding his scooter the 7 or so miles back to town to stay with his friend tonight. I left him there with the stipulation that I would be back if I didn't hear from his friend's mom by afternoon (supposedly she will be back by noon.) I am going to call his mom in a little while and let her know I left him there and see if there is something else she wants me to do. She doesn't know that his Dad is out of town, but I will tell her when I talk to her. There are a lot more layers to this story that I won't get in to, but suffice it to say that he has a pretty rough life. DSS is already involved in his life, which makes this all the more ridiculous. I'm not an overly protective parent. I would leave my 15yo home alone overnight, but with proper arrangements and people he could call in case of an emergency. He would NOT be at the high school at 10:30 on Friday night trying to find a place to stay with no adult he could call.

I brought one of ds's friends home from the school last night after a game because he had nowhere to go. It seems his Dad had gone to the Bahamas on vacation, leaving the 15yo at home alone. He was going to stay at one friend's house for the weekend, but the mom said he couldn't stay Friday, only Saturday. (She does not know that his Dad is gone, according to the kid.) So, I brought him home with me. I did talk to his mom (who lives in another state) last night to reassure her that he was safe and with a responsible adult. This is not the first time this has happened. DSS had *just* closed a case against his Dad for the same sort of thing last week! It isn't a case where a kid is home alone and there are neighbors watching out for him, or there is family nearby that can come to his aid if necessary (I have no problem with that.) His Dad LEFT THE COUNTRY without making arrangements for his son!:glare: He cannot stay here another night because of previous plans. I keep telling myself that he is not my responsibility, but the mom in me is not going to dump him off somewhere (he lives about 6-8 miles outside of town, and he said he can't even get into the house.) If I can't turn him over to another responsible adult this morning, what am I going to do? I guess I can call his mom and ask her what she wants me to do with him. I think his Dad will be reported to DSS again anyway because while he and my ds and I were discussing this, my good friend was on the phone with me. She is a social worker in our county, and this is not acceptable in any way. I am very conflicted because this kid was adamant that he didn't want DSS involved in his life again. I can understand that. I just can't see what other option I have if I can't find someone else to take care of him.

:lol: I just posted on your thread at the top....it was interesting to see you here too. FYI...LG Gone Wild here is my BB coach (she is awesome, BTW!)

Small world! I didn't know you were here, too. (From Team BB.... and FB)

:iagree: It's those regulations that make Pop Tarts a "healthy food.":glare:

That is why I didn't ask!:tongue_smilie: It still hurts, but it isn't agonizing or anything. Hopefully it will stop all together at some point so I can enjoy it.

That's good to know - when I finally get a tattoo I won't worry about the pain so much.:lol:

We did go to a tattoo/piercing shop. Mine is a compression-type earring, so there is no back to it (just one continuous loop.) Thanks for the tips on caring for it. I do want to keep it after going through that!

That was in the 70s, and she made $12,000 or so a year. Minimum wage (which is what a grocery store pays now for non-union) is $15,000 a year IF you can get full-time hours. Many places FT is reserved for management only. $12K a year adjusted for inflation is $46K - that is very eye opening. In 1988, my mom took a job that had a base salary of $12K per year. We had just enough for rent, utilities, a car, and basic food (mostly pasta, tuna, rice, and frozen veggies.) That is equal to $24K today.

We were sponsored one Christmas. When the lady was asking what the kids wanted, she kept mentioning Ipods or video game systems. I told her no. I told her that used items were okay. I asked for household goods (toilet paper, laundry detergent, etc.) I imagine *most* families do not ask for such huge, luxurious things.

As someone who works full-time and has 6 dc at home....absolutely. I have a working car, and I have a pretty ample grocery budget. I don't have time to comparison shop. I go to Sam's, I go to Food Lion, I get food. We don't eat a ton of processed food, but I am not cooking everything from scratch either.

If you saw my dh, you would say, "Wow, those look really good on him!":lol: He has a shaved head, a long goatee, and he is a BIG man - he looks like a biker. The earrings were the final touch. I like the bad boy type, though, so it works for me. My oldest son B has earrings. When my 3yo saw my dh, he giggled and said, "Why you wearing B's earrings?":tongue_smilie: ETA: My dh got both ears pierced with 12 gauge horseshoes. Looks like this: http://www.bodycandy.com/cgi-bin/item/32761

But they are providing it now when they don't even have to. Why would instituting a penalty make them less likely to provide something they are providing voluntarily now?

WOOHOO! We're headed to the upper middle class! BUT, the tax income site doesn't take into account family size. At our current income level we still will not pay any federal income taxes, even though it puts us solidly in the middle class. We're probably more lower middle class still due to the number of people. ETA: wendilouwho - It's funny what you define as middle class. Based on your numbers, our area has a higher cost of living, and that income range is really high.

I allocate every paycheck before we get it. I have a spreadsheet with the dates across the top and the categories down the side. I don't always follow it (money gets moved around after we get it), but it is a good framework. I also have 4 bank accounts. 1 for my dh (fuel and his money), 1 for me (my money, gas, groceries, etc.), 1 for bills, and the last is for "sinking funds"

It would be great, but people already have to take off work to go apply. Classes would mean more transportation costs and more time off work.