We have an all comers policy for Thanksgiving but for overnight guests? I have a no-comers policy. The only people allowed to sleep here who don't live here are my nieces and nephew and a short list of children of friends who come for sleepovers.

Not a factor for me. I have plans to see two movies this week (summer kid movie and a show at the dollar theater).

I really imagined this pass the bean dip advice to be more like tarring and feathering. Cover them completely in bean dip and then drop them in a bunch of feathers.

From my high school, a few classmates from a very small class have died. We are all 34-36 yo so none of the expected causes. 2 accidents, one was very ill. She died in her mid 20s. It was very sad. Our reunions tend to be informal arrangements set up on Facebook for several graduating years at a time because it was such a small school. I still see several high school friends regularly and there are several more I see as often as distance allows.

My SIL demanded a tubal at age 24 after her second child was born. The doctors were so reluctant to do so but she was immovable. She knew she wasn't in any place to have more kids, she didn't want more kids and she couldn't take care of her kids in a bad situation (dad's an abusive addict) while sick with more pregnancies. I can quite honestly say it was the best decision she has ever made. If they'd kept having kids I am loathe to say what would have happened. As it is, as a stable aunt and uncle with our own kids we can do more for her 2 kids than we would be able to had she had a baby every year or two until the divorce. It was truly an example of her taking care of herself and her babies. Also HE wanted more kids so she knew she wouldn't be consistently able to access other birth control. I am so glad she didn't let the doctor thinking she was too young stop her.

I love mayo (mostly homemade mayo) but I can't see myself wanting it on pizza. That said, people said that about pineapple.

Oh heck no. That dude does not get to claim me. I keep waiting for it to come out that we are all being punked for a reality show and that is why he is running...

Are you procrastinating young lady?! ;)

Yes, I do want my children to know the truth of what actually happened and the rampant racism in that era of American cuture. I'd also like them to know that the Ingalls were claim jumping squatters who illegally settled on land not open to white settlers. That said, when my kids are 6 I'd just as soon not have to explain in the most visceral of terms what it all means. Maybe let them reach age 7 or something. I also skip the parts about the kids getting belted because again, the cultural tradition of violence against children isn't something my 6 year old needs to confront.

100 Penny Box Anything by Mildred Taylor The Big Wave http://www.pragmaticmom.com/2010/06/top-10-native-american-childrens-books-ages-2-16/ Also, for non-fiction I have found the If You Lived When... Books to be pretty balanced.

On the scale of things I care about, the convenience or preference of a SO with child victims is low on the list. So they drive to a longer distance to church. So they might prefer the family time for scheduling purposes. So they would prefer this preacher to that one. So what? Any SO with child victims who can't trouble him or herself to steer clear of meetings with tons of kids is a concern. Forgiveness does not mean that reasonable safety precautions should be avoided. Nor should we just accept that it's, more or less, on the kids and the parents to stay out of a SOs way because "nowhere is absolutely safe." If I don't feel that church is safe for my child, that church is not a place my child will go.

Maybe the compromise is to let her use it when she plays dressup at home?

I think it does come from an old fashioned place but it often has nothing to do with the parents being together. If suddenly the woman changes her mind and wants child support, the judge could say, well, this man is the biological father and the child is entitled to that support. Also, if the father wants custody rights or visitation I can can see how the judge will be like, well the kid has a right to know both parents. I know there are contracts and some legal options but I doubt people informally sharing sperm have had a lawyer craft a legally binding and iron clad contract. Some states just won't recognize this as distinct from a bar hookup where a father, should he learn of the pregnancy and file for paternity, is entitled to parental rights unless he loses them and where a woman, if she is willing to persue it, is definitely entitled to an order for child support. I definitely know people and have heard of cases where sperm was exchanged informally and someone changes their mind. Either the woman realizes that the reality of single parenting is more financially difficult than she thought or decides that her child should know their "father" or the man realizes that he thought it was 'just sperm to help a friend" but he sees the baby and realizes it has his grandfather's nose and he feels a connection he never imagined. I'm sure there are lots of cases that work out just fine and the parents don't change their mind but it's not at all unheard of for someone to change their mind. The court messes up a lot. I wouldn't want to put the outcome of using donor sperm on the the whims of the court if I were personally in that situation. Anonymity offers a lot of protection.

Yes, but the court will generally default to the child's interests. Those are at times distinct from the parents' interests. Their agreement may well be at odds with the child's interests if one parent changes their mind or contests it. Even when agreements have been signed, the court can make other orders. The law has also not caught up with stuff like this.

Perhaps you are right. That said, why does she need justification? Any naysayers who would be upset with her about that aren't fit to listen to. Ignore them. If her church or camp or whatever mix of community she is worried about recrimination from is that messed up, she needs out. Some people just aren't worth it.

You are redirecting your anger towards us. That's the unhealthy part. I have certainly not assigned evil intent. I think you are caught up in an unhealthy dynamic here. The bit about the money didn't come out up front. It's weird no matter how many times I read it (I saved your posts for reference). If that isn't a consideration, why not have refunded him and declined the business already? It's a factor of some sort, as you said yourself when you said it was complex. I promise you this is a lot more simple than it seems. You are stressed, tired and in pain. It's a shame he added this to your plate. Don't carry his weight. You realy will feel better when you get it done and over with. Anyone in your community who would recriminate you for reporting this? Anyone who does that is not your friend or safe to be around your kids.

I have asked for clarification on several points and have not seen any replies. You sound defensive and in pain. I am sorry. The fact that you are upset with the posters who what you to report it indicates that you very well may have some misgivings about reporting this. I think you would feel less conflicted and worried if you ripped off the bandaid and just made the report. sometimes it seems harder and more difficult but is really quite simple once you do it.

This is correct. Conversely, a mom who doesn't want to co-parent with an informal sperm donor could find herself in a joint custody situation should he change his mind at some point, especially before or just after birth. Anonymous sperm donors please.

It's really unclear to me and, for all my faults, lack of reading comprehension is not one of them. That's why I asked for clarification. I do not know what she could mean by precautions to protect her family besides maybe reporting anonymously. That she feels her family is threatened by this is very distressing. I am worried about her.

I don't know. The whole question about of she is legally obligated to report it made me feel slightly like she was, knowingly or not, seeking permission not to report it.

What are these protections for your family that you need to have in place before you report it? Protection from the offender retaliating? Protection from church blow back? What is it that is causing you this worry? This raises red flags for me about your community. It's not an easy situation. I hope you get things figured out and the report filed. As for the work thing, I've fired clients for far less. If you can I would just return his deposit and be done with that entanglement. I am wondering, since he told his friends and peers about this, why he is telling only people in his peer group and not the pastor or the police. I suspect he is abusing his relationship with you and others to make himself feel like he's addressed the issue but he is only telling people he intuits would be, like you, hesitant to act on the information. It's a classic move and very manipulative. I am sorry he made this your problem. You know what needs to be done and I hope you will do it.

So the family camp wasn't a church related event? Why are a couple of empty nesters at family camp? It's not a hypothetical question for a lot of posters. When people say they would report it, don't assume they have no way of knowing what they would do. That's patronizing. Unfortunately a lot of us have all too much real life experience with abuse and reporting people and we know exactly what we would do. Because, details somewhat different, we have had to do it.

I remember needing gym shoes but we were expected to bring them on gym days (and they were supposed to never be worn outside.) I bet they started expecting them to be left because people would ignore the rule about no outside shoes.

There's a cash only hamburger chain here that pays above minimum wage, offers excellent employer paid benefits AND gives you a $25,000 scholarship over 4 years (enough to cover tuition for 2 years of community college and most of 2 years at the university). They are always looking for people who can pass their math test. Yet, I know people who can't pass it. It's just simple arithmetic.

The backside of the pants part came partially over her rear. The back of the overalls on top resembed sewn on denim suspenders. So most of the way too low pants part was showing. In the front it was a regular top part of overalls, but too snug.