Well, I discipline in some of the same ways you describe. Yet, I will offer a different idea, one that has worked w/my dc during times of obstinance. As long as I've been a parent, I have tried to keep this mantra in my mind: Rules without a relationship equals rebellion. I heard this once and it made a lot of sense. In my parenting, I've added to it: If there's rebellion, deepen the connection with that child. Some ways to do this are finding creative ways to spend with your child - things he likes to do. Go out on a "date" with him, just the two of you. Seek him out to spend time with him in whatever ways. Do you know his "Love Language"? (assuming you've probably heard of this book.) Keep his love language in mind as you interact w/him.

My thoughts, too. You and your son did the right thing by confronting the conflict and trying to resolve it. It takes both parties to engage in order to resolve and restore a relationship. In this case, it didn't work out that way. I hope Ben can see an instance (soon) where conflict-resolution does work. Afterall, conflict-avoidance NEVER works. Good job!

I know Aspergers/Autism is a very broad spectrum with lots of symptoms. I have read a little about this. I feel I can't ask my cousin because she doesn't seem very open/comfortable talking with me about her ds's dx, for whatever reason. Due to continuous conflicts between our sons, I'm really wondering if some of this could be "just Aspies" stuff. Would you say that a boy w/Aspies tends to play more agressively - more physical - than same-age boy w/out Aspies? Is there a tendency to consistently exaggerate stories or truths? To blame others? To misperceive others? Our families are trying to work out some issues that have come up between our sons and I have seen all of these behaviors in my cousin's ds. He is a nice boy in so many ways, but just gets a little violent in their play - and tends to go "over the top" and not know when to stop even when my ds asks him to stop. My cousin and her dh have worked w/their son over the years and he has really progressed; I have no criticism. I am really trying to find a way to be more patient, to understand, to help my ds in these areas, too. Thank you for any insights you can offer along these lines.

Prayers for you, Jonathan, and your family. :grouphug:

:lol: Now this made me laugh (looking at your # of posts) :lol:

My turn to whine: I don't know why this year is any different, but it is. We have always schooled year round and haven't given it a second thought (because we take off days or weeks throughout the year). This summer, though, is so hard to keep going, even with the light load of math, spelling, reading, some science. So, I think what I'm going to do is declare 3 weeks off and party hard, then come back gradually. We'll be in full swing by 3rd week in Aug. Anybody else gonna join me and take some unplanned time off? :tongue_smilie:

OH! I'll have to try the Statistics section. Thx. I have been subscribing - b/c I noticed that a lot of you are asked a question and you respond quickly. The only way I found to do this is through subscribing to the thread. Well. . . glad I asked :D

:lol::lol:

Well, I will be checking them out! Thanks! Again, great-looking school room.

Ohhh, a huge CONGRATULATIONS! Welcome, Little One.

Praying strength and restored health for your ds.

every time you post? Or only when you think others will have questions? or controversy? Thx. I am doing webmail currently so I don't get the email subscriptions to my inbox. Just wondering about board etiquette on this.

Yes, in fact, Seligman's name/book was mentioned in an excellent book I just finished rereading for the 2nd time: The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness by Hallowell. I have 2 friends who have sons w/Aspergers. Both families have really worked hard w/their sons to overcome quirks and social inadequacies. Neither son is medicated. One family used to medicate when their ds was in ps, but he stopped growing so they took him off meds and out of ps. He is doing very well. All the best as you prepare for your mtg and search out the best service for your son.

Removing a gall bladder without a change in lifestyle is like getting that gastric bypass surgery and still over-eating. The ultimate answer is to change the lifestyle. I know you know this and I wonder if your brother could be persuaded to this end with some life experiences of others. Said a prayer for him just now. He's awfully young for all this :sad: ETA: well, after reading the last 2 posts, it looks like I am wrong to broad brush this. . . . but in your brother's case, it might be true according to what you described of his lifestyle. All the best!

Very nice school room! I'm sure your hard work alone will inspire your learners :hurray: Where did you get your desks? Also, your beautiful bookshelves? I've been wanting to get rid of the desks we have in favor of something more attractive, like yours. I was thinking of getting one 6'x3' table, but the only one I've found is the fold up type table, which is very functional but not very attractive. Thanks for the inspiration and the help!

I would go over, if the relationships meant that much to my ds, and talk to them. They have misunderstood your ds's intentions. Yes, they are being childish about it. At the same time, I wouldn't want my ds to learn that confrontations result in loss - unless all efforts on my part (and his) were first exhausted. Let him learn that confrontation plus mature discussion can result in resolution. If the other party does not engage in resolution, then at least you modeled one side for him. By going over there, you are also showing your ds that you support him.

I've heard this from somewhere, but haven't ever tried it b/c I don't know for how long to roast it. Can you tell me temp & time per pound of frozen chicken? Or just your best guesstimate? Thanks much!

Oh my goodness, it's great to hear your update, Helena! (said through teary eyes!) Good for you:hurray: Of course, as with the ebb and flow of Life, you can let us know again if you feel overwhelmed :)

:iagree::iagree:on both counts! Dads should also compliment their daughter's beauty or style. They need to hear it from Daddy before any other man!

Ooooooh, I got my boxing gloves on and I wanna take a swing at your mom. Just like I've wanted to take a swing at my mom for some of the same reasons you listed. . . . but she is learning boundaries at the moment. We have been "on break" from them for over a year now b/c every time we got around my folks, they'd cross a boundary. We'll meet up w/them soon and, hopefully, see some respect for boundaries :glare: I truly hope you do, too! :grouphug: It's good that you are confident in your decision for your dc. Hang in there!

OK, y'all. Thanks. I wish YOU could break the news to hubby though, LOL Aw, it's OK, he's easy to please ;) Ckn for tomorrow night then - and I'll be grilling.

I love garage saling. I usually like it best when I follow the signs - make them all the same or using the same colors so they are easy to follow. I occasionally check Craig's List. I never check the paper. I live in a metro area, lots of burbs, so there are always lots of sales. I guess it depends on where you live - but since your prices will be so reasonable, I would still say it is not worth the $31+ fee.

I can roast it in the oven or grill on the BBQ. Which would you do and how long do you think it would take? LOL, I might be getting take out tonight - but I don't want to. TIA for any help!

Congratulations! :hurray:

Happy Anniversary! Congrats!!