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Peela

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Everything posted by Peela

  1. I read to my kids every night since they were toddlers through to about age 12 or so. I still read to them during school time and they still love it. (ages almost 15, and 16 now).
  2. I agree with the pp who said when they feel bad about their husband, its because they are not taking good enough care of themselves. That is my experience, also. Once I take the focus off my husband and back onto myself and my life, and really take care of myself, my husband seems a much nicer person :) Marriages do go through cycles and we are indoctrinated by movies and soapies to think they should be a certain way consistently. If we dont feel in love with our dh in our 5th of 50th year of marriage...well, its actually pretty normal. Being in love is a hormonal thing, and hormones change all the time. Love is usually pretty ordinary. I think many people only realise how much they loved someone when they are gone. In the less apparently loving or exciting times of our marriage, we do just try and keep the little things going...making each other cups of tea, making the time to catch up about our days, going for walks. Recently I realised I wasnt having enough fun in my life and I started to buy some prettier clothes, go out to lunch with girlfriends, dance in the loungeroom as well as at a local dance, and just open up myself to putting more spark in my own life. DH has a very busy and very social life with his work but I didnt want to be part of it all the time. Then I realised that dh was always wanting me to do fun things with him and I had been saying no for years! Mainly...he loves to take my motorbike riding on a Sunday and often I have said I dont feel like it...well now, I feel like it because its fun and I recognise now how important it is. I think marriages need fun more than a lot of other stuff... fun things now and then give great memories,stress relief...they provide balance. But we tend to put fun last on the list because we take our lives so seriously. Fun can be a picnic on the loungeroom floor, or in bed, or a night at a hotel, or going to a dance, or walking, or just going to a coffee shop together on the weekend. It just takes some imagination and babysteps. I had to do it for myself first, though, before I could recognise what a fun guy dh can be and how much I take that for granted.
  3. My mum used to have migraines when I was a kid. If Dad was away, I used to have to empty her vomit bucket from next to her bed. She couldnt get out of bed. She was a wreck. We would have to call a doctor into the house to get her injections for stopping the vomining sometimes. It is something I have often heard migraine sufferers say...a bad headache is still miles away from a migraine. I also wonder why mothers think its so great to "push through" things like headaches- even bad headaches. What is so wonderful about being a martyr? How about letting the kids eat cereal, watch a movie, and bring you whatever you need in bed? Why do we think its so wonderful when we don't take care of ourselves?
  4. Triple doses of professional strength echinacea, olive leaf extract, and ginger tea. Then I will make a soup with lots of chilli and garlic in it. Sometimes raw garlic too. I have also used colloidal silver. I can't do vitamin C- it hurts my kidneys. Also, I make sure my bowels are moving well :) Stange as it may sound, a bowel flush helps the body detoxify through a different channel- a cold is simply one way that the body detoxifies and by taking the strain off other elimination channels , the cold can do its job more quickly.
  5. My education department moderator has told me horror stories of families who do this- pull their kids out of school because of bullying issues usually...and then just dont have a clue how to homeschool...so they dont do anything. They want someone else to fix the issue. They literally have no books in the house, no "learning environment" whatsoever- and she cops hostility for trying to help them within her job description because they want her to homeschool their kids! Lots of ignorance out there. I also know people IRL who have gone for very long periods of time with a wide age range of kids, not doing any school, because of an overwhelmed mum/various continual life crises which after a while seem like more of a lifestyle approach than misfortune. The mum would come to various classes and complain every week for years about how she never could seem to get around to schoolwork. I believe that did eventually change. However I do know that those kids are very good at certain traditional skills like cooking and sewing, so perhaps in the bigger picture, no harm was done and one could consider those years "unschooling years".
  6. Yes, I do it often. Dh has such fussy food habits, and is vegetarian as well, with food allergies...that I cannot cater to everyone each meal. So, frequently I make a solid meat meal that the kids and I will eat at lunchtime, then a vegetarian light meal for dinner. I tihn it is better to eat a larger meal in the middle of the day rather than before bed.
  7. Turning 40 felt hard at the time but now I am 43 it is just so incredible. I do feel like i am having a mid life crisis but even that's not a bad thing:) It smore like...I have so, so many possibilities ahead of me...what should I do? I love myself, I give myself permission to make mistakes without self flagellation, to be less than perfect, to rest and take time out, to do things for me. I don't get shattered from someone's unkind word or look any more. I am happier. I am more likely to speak my mind, and I am more likely to be gentle while doing it than in the past. The little stuff doesnt seem to matter so much. I am still wondering what I am going to be when I grow up :) but I feel more capable of doing whatever it is I want. Sometimes I go through times of feeling I am old...but it really depends which way you look- back or forward! I am healthier and enjoy my body more now than in my 30s. I have friends in their 50s who look great! It inspires me. 60 is not even "old " any more.
  8. I dont know. I have had experiences which suggest to me that there is life on other dimensions all around us all the time and that death is just the death of this body in this dimension...life and consciousness go on. I love reading about near death experiences. Reading them, and my own experiences in meditation over the years, have pretty much convinced me that death is not just "the end". But...I am far from being able to define exactly what it is. I think its great to question these things as long as you dont actually believe there is a definitive answer.
  9. It has to be simple. I have designed very elaborate chore systems over the years- you would think that would do the trick, right? But what works is getting off my butt and making sure they do them consistently until they do them as a habit and realise there realy is no excape :). To some extent it is linked to pocket money, but not directly. Dh reserves the right to delete money from pocket money for chores left undone during the week. In the end....chores are as much work for the parent as they are for the kid- for a long time. But, it IS worth it.
  10. I was reared a presumed Christian- went to Sunday school and a Christian girls school...but I cant say I remember ever feeling I was strongly a Christian so take my opinion for what its worth. 1. I found the hypocrisy in the girl's school I went to so blatently obvious I couldnt understand why no one else saw it. I felt like teh child in teh Emperor's Clothes story. I did not find them kind, or loving, or open minded. It was all about being 'good' and obeying the rules and it didn't touch me- except the singing part :) 2. I went on my own journey, had my own experiences and in my teens found a path that resonated- more yoga and meditation and the path to Enlightenment. The whole higher being thing didnt disappear- but it sure doesn't look like the Christian God any more. BUt I now feel perfectly comfortable with anyone's concept of God and use the word freely- but it means what it means to me, which is unexplainable and very vast and inclusive. What drove me was a desire to question all beliefs, rather than just believe them because I was told. I am comfortable with not knowing, but it doesnt stop me being very curious. 3. No, I dont believe in reincarnation, but I do think its a distinct possibility and makes a lot of sense. I am comfortable with not knowing and being curious. 4. No, my own experiences have shown me that there is 'life' after death, it snot just "nothing". And, dont presume there is "nothing" before you are born, either. Do you remember?
  11. Life is the totality of all of existence, of which we are all miniscule parts, but like holograms- all containing the whole. But mostly, life is unknowable. We care about staying alive because it is programmed into us. We dont have a choice. Even those who commit suicide care deeply, or they couldn't do it. However there are many who are virtually walking dead- but the program to stay alive is inbuilt and hard to override. We live as though we can conquor death because of the illusion our minds create around us that we are separate, autonomous beings when we are actually totally interdependent and not separate from the whole of life. There is no intrinsic purpose- we like to think there is because it makes us feel better- but we can create purpose for ourselves and give meaning to our lives. The sun has no purpose but to shine, the birds have no purpose but to be birds and live their lives and I honestly cant help but to feel they are often joyful...we also have no purpose but to just live. Thats not a bad thing- its not the same as meaninglessness and depression- in fact its quite freeing. We are set up to form attachments- it's a part of survival- its genetically programmed. Otherwise we wouldnt reproduce and rear our young and form communities to protect them. Other species also bond and grieve their loved ones' deaths- we had a pair of ducks here recently and one accidentally killed. The other was just bereft for days. Elephants grieve very visibly. The thing is we think something is wrong when someone dies- as if its a big mistake and God got it wrong. Wheras other species just grieve. Its natural. Pain is a natural part of life- we turn it into suffering when we dont accept it and resist it, and we put beliefs and conditioned patterns on top of what is natural. So...we suffer because of our conditioning, but we grieve because it is natural. I distinguish between suffering- man made- and natural pain, which does pass if felt fully- in its own time, though. We take our day to day living for granted because we can- perception of beauty and love and all the higher qualities are not necessary for survival- we have to cultivate them. Because we are set up as creatures of habit, we tend to get locked into certain patterns of perception and we stop seeing things freshly each moment. When did you last notice the sparkle of the water in the dogs bowl, or the exquisite pattern of a leaf, or smell the breeze, or notice the miracle of a plant growing through a crack in the pavement? Its all about percpetion, and we have to shake up and train ourselves out of habitual ruts, such as negative thinking- and focus on what is good and beautiful, in order not to take things for granted.
  12. No expert but I say its worth a try. I am not familiar with Klein though, or using raw to heal reflux. Lots of things you can do....and raw is definitely an option. I am not 100% raw- maybe 50% at the moment- but it really does make me feel good.
  13. I have no problem with cameras or speaker phones. I dislike Skype because I dont like to be disturbed while I am on the computer. I found certain friends kept wanting to talk- and they had nothing much to say! I can see it's use but really I find the phone hard enough. I like email, and ocasional phone calls and a bit of real life too :) . Anti social I know...but I deleted Skype from my computer.
  14. Oh my that is the least of my problems, what to call it! Its a fart. Thats easy. Its getting them to stop doing them all over the place, or as my son has been known to do, sit on my lap for a cuddle and do one. My irritation with him does nothing to quell his immense mirth! Around this house the father sets the tone of the house and its....well, not just noisy but smelly. I have no hope when the father still finds it hilarious. I have asked for a 3 metre safe zone for farts and a 1 metre one for loud burps, for myself, but it's not working very well. I think a good sense of humour goes a long way and I am glad my own birth family werent hung up about it. It wasnt a big deal. But I am guessing dh was told off a lot...hence the glee. Even my dd thinks the toilet humour around here is hilarious, and I dont want to be the old fogey so I have stopped making a fuss. Life is too short to get all upset over such things, especially such things that cause so many people such hilarity!
  15. Lol, there are plenty of deadly snakes in Australia (including the world's most deadly) but only 2-3 people a year die from snake bites- far less than bee stings. I was at a poisonous snake demonstration the other day and I saw some really deadly ones slithering around the handler's boots. The thing is, if you bandage the limb and get to hospital, they have anti venom- well, I hope for your sake that they do in America :) They do here :) Snake venom moves very slowly through the lymphatic system, rather than the circulatory system, so you have quite a lot of time to get to hospital. The handler had a couple of deadly ones there that if they bit him, we (spectators) would have to get him to hospital quickly. However he said not to worry about our own safety because it was mostly snake handlers who get bitten! Snakes are generally non aggressive and will only bite if you step on them. They are blind and will usually move away when they feel you coming. Its a primal sort of fear though, isnt it? I know the few times I have come across them in the bush, my heart has started thumping in my chest. We have a pet snake though- a very docile, easy going, non poisonous python called Monty- and I have come to really love snakes.
  16. No, I wouldn't be happy about my 12yo being asked that, and I am fairly liberal. Apart from anything else, it is absolutely none of thier business.
  17. I would celebrate a lefty with all my heart and not treat them any differently! Being right handed is in no way superior to being left handed, so there is nothing to be frightened of! Nor is it any disadvantage to be left handed in today's society. I am strongly left handed in some ways (writing and fine motor skills) and ambidextrous in others (cricket, tennis). My mother likes to tell the story of when I was a baby and they would put a rattle in my right hand and I would change it over to my left. My dad is left handed also so I was not discriminated against by my family! I was sent to the principal as a student because of my messy handwriting, in 1st grade. My mother came to the school and was furious to find out I was seated on the right side of a right handed kid so we were knocking elbows, so I scrunched my arm in to my side. After my mum stood up for me, my handwriting improved and it is very neat now. I was a little sad one of my kids was not born left handed. Nothing to worry about at all! Its not like its a disability! Its a blessing :)
  18. When my son was younger than your daughter, we knew he had stolen $5- I think it was on the couch or something. We literally stopped everything- all of normal life ground to a halt- while we sat and confronted him about it, UNTIl he finally confessed. Then we thanked him for telling the truth, forgave him, had him make amends to his sister (whose money it was). Even though it had taken literally a good couple of hours until he confessed, we didnt budge from the couch until he did. He didn't get punished or guilt tripped. We just wanted the truth. I think it made a strong impact. Both my kids still lie sometimes but he is the one least likely to.
  19. I had a couple of big lop eared rabbits who were semi house trained by their previous owners. They were just awesome, so friendly, would sit in your lap like a cat, woudl come when called (and lets face it not all cats do that). But...being semi housetrained was not quite good enough :) The rabbit pellets were ok to deal with but the pee wasnt. Yes, they do tend to go in the one place most of the time....but most wasnt all.
  20. I suspect that for most people, the more sheltered and narrow a circle they actually mingle within...and the stronger the judgements they have of those outside their range of experience....the more closed and narrow minded they become as they get older. Then they become like the older, judgemental people they might once have not liked so much when they were younger, because they didnt feel understood or valued by them. Unless one consciously chooses to become aware of and overcome one's innate and culturally indoctrinated conditioning such as prejudices against piercings...and deliberately see the person beneath...one just gets to live in that narrow and superficial world- and then defend one's isolationist policy! Once someone you really, reallylove gets a piercing, or a tattoo, or gets a mohawk or declares their homosexuality, or you are thrown into a social situaition where you get to see the deep soul of a person who you otherwise judged...you get the opportunity to choose to just love them and enjoy them and recognise your common humanity- and that could be a street hobo or a movie star going through rehab or your own child. You can be friends, too...doesnt mean you arent smart about your boundaries, doesnt mean you will be best friends...but you CAN be friends. I just reckon the world needs a hell of a lot more tolerance and willingness to accept people for who they are, and openness towards each other...rather than more defensiveness, petty judgements and "us and them" mentality. It IS normal to resist and be frightened of the unknown, of people who look different. I am sure its an inbuilt survival mechanism. However we have the capacity within us to go beyond our basest behaviour, to come out of our narrow minded conditioning and knee jerk reactions. Whether we choose to grow into our better selves or stay in our more basic, primitive selves, is really up to us, once we have seen the choice.
  21. OK, I have some things to say about these and it gives me a different perspective on the wet hair thing, too. I do not drink iced water- it gives me indigestion. I have studied Ayurvedic medicine and they consider that it lowers digestive fire. Now, that doesnt mean that you cant "get away with it"- but then, how sensitive are most of us to our digestive systems anyway? Most people are not. Doesn't mean it doesn't have a negative effect. As for wearing barefeet in winter and all those things- probably including having wet hair to bed- we are all spoiled rotten in that if we catch a cold and it gets nasty- we can go to the doctor and get antibiotics. Before 50 years ago, there were no antibiotics. People died regularly and frequently from things we just naturally take for granted we would survive. And also, many of us come from northern Eurpean stock where these so called "myths" had their basis in reality- it was cold in winter- you wouldnt risk lowering your immunity by letting yourself get cold (bare feet, wet hair at night etc). WHen I say lowering your immunity- your body only has so much energy- If it has to direct your core energy to keeping you warm because you are not wearing shoes and it is snowing- well, it is goign to have a lot less energy to direct towards your immune system to deal with the bugs that around at that time of year. And of course you are going to teach your kids these things. Its survival. I dont think these are "myths". I think they all have their basis in reality (OK, maybe not the birthmark one but I dont know for sure! When you dont know about germs, energies and spirits are the way you interpret teh world :) ) When you live in times or places where you cant rush your newborn baby to hospital if they catch something nasty, and many- if not most- babies die before age 1- you keep them inside for their first month in order to help their immune system grow before being exposed to everyone and everything out there. It's actually common sense! And many countries still dont have the sort of medical facilities we take for granted, so they still have these customs- and they may well even forget why they have them. However, we do live in different times and in a different culture- and we can take the customs of our ancestors and evaluate them for credibility today in our own context. I think it's worth respecting our ancestors and other cultures- for surviving long enough for us to be here.
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