That's it. The out *there* part is unbelievably painful. Waiting for them to be ready for help... It gives one a deep, deep ache in the chest... I'm so sorry that there are others in this place... Hugs to all going through this pain. May all our children come home (not literally, of course, only come back to making good, solid choices in life). TXMary, I hope that your son's situation is not so extreme, and that it is resolved soon in the best way for all of you.

TXMary2, your post resonates so strongly with me. You are not alone. DH and I have a 19.5 year old - he is DH's from a relationship prior to our marriage, and I have loved him and helped to raise him from the moment we all became a family - and before that as well. He always lived with us, and we tried hard to model good relationships and behavior for him. We have a long history and a lot of love between us. He now (as an adult) lives with his bio-mom, who is a struggling, unmedicated bipolar. And he has simply gone off the deep end. He's been making terrible choices - and his therapist has made it clear to us that it is indeed genetic (he is now a diagnosed bipolar also). There is an addiction component as well, and that is also genetic - on biomom's side, unfortunately. DH and I have never had to deal with substance abuse before, so this is new for us. We are walking a fine line trying to balance between helping and enabling. If he lived in our home, I think (no, I know) we would enforce the rules listed by Hen Jen. And there would be clear consequences laid out in advance for breaking those rules. One of those consequences would absolutely be moving out if the rules were broken X number of times. As it is - our kiddo is enjoying his freedom in a way we never pictured, and there isn't much we can do. It hurts, but maybe it's part of the process he needs to grow up. We have had to stop providing financial help, as the money is inappropriately spent more often than not. It has been one of the hardest things we've ever done. I could write volumes about the experience at this point - it has been truly heart-wrenching. So I understand what you mean about wanting to help but not enable. I think if our kiddo were living here... Maybe we could set up boundaries and a safety net for him, that he doesn't have now... and that might help. Not having him in our home has made us very helpless to facilitate his getting help. But then again - he's not ready. I hope that your kiddo can sit down and talk with you about your concerns, and figure out a way for all of you to co-exist peacefully and respectfully. Hugs to you.

We love most of the above. And we have another sweet favorite: A You're Adorable - this is a song we sang to our munchkin, and finding it in a board book was very special. It was a first birthday gift that he - still, at 6 - pulls out for snuggle time. It's available on Amazon.

Oh! Wow! Standing ovation from this mom, too!!! I rarely post... But reading about your daughter's experience made me cry. We spent New Year's Eve in the ER with our son. Anaphylaxis is terrifying. It was my first time giving an epi - and thank goodness that helped until the ambulance arrived. Just reading about your daughter made me so grateful - again - for everyone who helped us. We do so much to keep our kiddo safe - and this time never found the source of the allergen. It hit home how vulnerable we are, even in our safe zone. We truly depend on our emergency care helpers. Please thank your daughter on our behalf. Please tell her how grateful we are for what she does!

I'm very new here still, but wanted to say that the police can definitely send this letter off to the forensics lab. If you can, stop handling it (a little late, I know) and put it into a gallon ziplock bag. You don't have to physically take it the police station. Just call the non-emergency number, tell them you have received a suspicious letter containing threats, and they will send a police officer to your home. The officer will file a report, and take the letter to send to the lab, if s/he thinks there is a chance of finding info. You can ask the officer to make sure that the police will be driving past now and then to keep an eye on your house. And - added bonus - if anyone *is* watching you, they will see that you have contacted the police. Oh... and you might consider calling the post office as well. They would take this seriously, and your carrier may be able to stay on the look out for more suspicious letters. Could be worth a shot.

Oooh! These are yummy, and no peanut butter (my son is allergic): Our family calls these Nummy Balls: 1 1/2 cups quick-cooking oatmeal 1/4 cup sugar 6 tablespoons butter, softened 2 tablespoons cocoa powder 1/2 tablespoon vanilla extract Powdered sugar or Pearl sugar for rolling Combine butter, sugar, oats, cocoa powder, vanilla. Some recipes call for a tablespoon of coffee, and that sounds yummy, too. My son mixes these with his hands, but I use the mixer. Lazy Mummy. Roll into balls about the size of a meatball. Roll balls in powdered sugar. Put them in the fridge for 20 - 30 minutes, then enjoy! ETA: This isn't my exact recipe, but it's very close - I found it searching online. Seems about right, though.

Someone else reminded me... DH once gave me a year of coffee in the morning. Not once did I have to make the coffee. He either made it each morning before I got up, or made sure the coffeemaker was programmed and set up each night. It was heavenly. My absolute, all time favorite gift!

This year I am giving DH the Sketch a Day Journal, a nice set of pencils (still need to decide which one), and Art & Fear: Observations On the Perils (and Rewards) of Artmaking. In his stocking, he'll have a BPA-free travel mug, and a selection of espresso pods for his travel espresso maker. He will also have tickets to see Blue Man Group (everyone in our family will have these in their stocking), and now I'm thinking it's time to check on hotel points here too! Love the calendar idea, as well...

Once in a while, my mother will come and babysit while DH and I go out to dinner. Okay... maybe once a year? Hmmm, seems like we are due about now. :) On daily help - no, although there are times it would be so nice! However, when my kiddo was 15 mos, I was completely disabled. Bed-bound, and in a very difficult treatment program for several years. My mother and MIL alternated living in with us for weeks at a time. My stepmom did a ton of freezer cooking. So I've had more than my share of help, and feel grateful every day, for being blessed with 3 wonderful, giving mothers. ...And I am grateful every day that I can walk again, and HS, and [gasp] I am even grateful that I can do laundry!

We didn't really question Stuart's origins either. It was part of the fantasy. Not an issue at all. We purchased the movie on a whim (and major sale) after reading the book - and promptly freecycled it. The messages the movie sends about adoption are not acceptable in our family (that Stuart's birthmother is his "real" mother, that birthparents can come and take a child away from a family, and if I remember correctly, Stuart's birthparents were far from the loving, courageous people that are my son's birthparents). ...We love the book, though!

What wonderful ideas! For grandparents - handprint dishtowels. Super easy. Plain white dishtowels, fabric paint, and your kiddos for the handprints. Ours have lasted for years, and I smile every time we use them. The grandparents all loved them, too! :) For teens/young adults - record bowls are easy and quick. I'm a big fan of the homemade scrubs and lip balms. Put some in the record bowls. Marshmallow shooters look like fun for kids.

We just finished this, and DS (6) loved it.

Is this the Bedbug Paranoia Club? May I join? Please? We just returned from a family trip to NYC. We checked and triple-checked the bedbug registry. We grilled the bellhop who carried our bags to our room. He assured us that they even have dogs come weekly to check for bugs. (I had no idea dogs could sniff out bedbugs?!) I *still* think he was being secretive about bedbugs. We pulled apart every bed, checked the curtains, the seams of every upholstered item, and checked inside the drawers. ...And still, I did not sleep until after 3 am. 3 days in NYC, and not a sign of bedbugs anywhere. But I am still paranoid. We are home, everything has been washed and I am *still* jumpy! Crossing cashmere off the holiday shopping list...

Oh no. The set at Costco is no longer listed - it was a wilderness adventure set. I'm sorry. It was there last week. I had my eye on it for DS for his post-Christmas bday. Now to start the hunt again... You might try the Playmobil website. They have discontinued sets listed. And sometimes Tuesday Morning has sets, as well.

Costco has a nice animal set online for $50, including shipping.

Looking for some ideas for a 19 year old boy, in his second year of college. He loves Jules Verne type novels, is studying theater, and has had a very difficult year. Something classic, somewhat inspiring, but not religious. Inspiring is not a necessity - classic would be enough - but it would be a bonus. Something to give him some hope that there is life ahead would be ideal. I'm stumped. He's an avid reader, so finding something he hasn't already read has been difficult. Any ideas would be deeply appreciated!

What a sad story. And such stunning photographs. Thank you for the link. I am passing it along to others who will appreciate the work as well.

What a great find! Thank you! Just picked up goodies for a few people - great deal. :)

Oh - the first holiday without a loved one is so hard. :grouphug: I don't have the same reason for dreading the holiday, but I do. My kiddo has life-threatening allergies. Going into someone else's home, eating food from someone else's kitchen... my stress level just skyrockets. I can't tell you how scary it feels. There are so many unknowns. We take everything that the kiddo will eat, we cook an entire holiday meal for him ahead of time and carry it in - but even so, there are so many worries. We are in an environment with his allergens, and I am constantly telling him to wash his hands, don't touch his face, and watching everyone around him like a hawk. We *have* to go to my parents' house for Thanksgiving - it is the only real secular holiday for them, and thus the only big gathering of all of their kids. We are a mixed family of Christians, secular humanists and Orthodox Jews. So getting us all together can be tough. It means so much to my parents to see us all at once. It makes it worth facing the fears, just barely. But I would gladly stay home, and eat chili from the crockpot!

So glad you like the Urban Fairies! We adore them. Several fairy doors have appeared in our house over the last year. It's fun. Check this out: http://pinkandgreenmama.blogspot.com/2008/12/so-much-cooler-than-pixie-hollow.html We made something similar for my kiddo. We used a Melissa and Doug treehouse, and modified. Tree Blocks made wonderful furniture and stairs, if you have them already. Also, for instant gratification: http://www.thetoymaker.com/2Toys.html Scroll down to the "fairies and magic" section for some printable projects.

We love fairies. :) I don't have a link to a fairy house project, so I've been happy to see some ideas. But just in case you haven't seen it... Have you seen the Urban Fairy Operations website? http://www.urban-fairies.com/ Click on Door #7, I think it says "locations" to see the various fairy doors in Ann Arbor, MI - the entire town is infested. The artist's wife is a K teacher, too - there are some pics of her classes on fairy finding expeditions. My favorite fairy location is probably the one in the library... My 6 year old and I found out about the Urban Fairy Project when he was 5. We were online looking for a fairy project - much like you are. And instead we found the UFO. His fervent wish was to have fairies come make a home in our walls. :) Since then, we've had our own fairy infestation. If I knew how to post a pic, I could show you the fairy door that appeared next to our front door. It matches our door!

Praying and sending good thoughts...

Today's item on woot.com is a Kodak EasyShare - refurbished, but looks like a good buy.

That was my first thought as well. She could have a UTI. We rescued a 4 year old chihuahua, when my husband was dying for a cat. Our little cat-dog was quite the change from our usual big dogs. :) She lived to a ripe old age, we just lost her not too long ago... She did require some tomato staking at the outset, to get past the potty issues. And even when she was older, she required us to watch her carefully as she simply did not seem to communicate her need to go outside well. It was an adjustment. You know though... if she is not the right pup for your family, I don't think you need to beat yourself up about it. The rescue organization would help to find her another home, right? It could be that she needs less stress (kids, other dogs) to relax. It may be her temperament. Our little one got along well with our 100 lb pup, and did well with older kids. But little kids terrified her - she just did not know what they'd do next, and chihuahuas are so tiny and fragile, I think they scare easily. Hoping you find the right solution for your family and for your pup...

My (step)son came to us at 9 years old - long story there - and he hated to read. He had never completed a book on his own, and [gasp] didn't have a favorite book! I began by reading to him at night. Lots and lots of reading. Then I would read a few chapters, and tell him I was too tired to continue, but he could stay up and read one more chapter himself... Then, since he was obsessed with screen time, and we were limiting that - we created a point system. He had to earn screen time through reading and other good behaviors. Within a year, SS was reading everything in sight, and I was actually concerned that he was not getting outside enough. Had to institute the point system again, to encourage getting outside and staying active. :)