I really like the 2nd plan. You could always use the "office" house for a large dinner party. I wouldn't do the 1st plan. Kids really need that supervision. I know they seem so mature sometimes, but take away the parental guidance and you'll find out exactly how immature they are. It can really be a dangerous situation. Even if the kids behave perfectly you could have a fire or burglar in one house and not know about it in the second house.

I really like Worldly Wise by Kenneth Hodkinson and Sandra Adams, published by Educator's Publishing Service. http://www.epsbooks.com/dynamic/catalog/subject.asp?subject=61S The lessons are very in depth and the child can do them by himself.

5th grade 11yob Sacon 6/5 McGraw Hill Florida Edition Science Exploring Creation with Astronomy Worldly Wise, book 3 Winston Grammar, basic SOTW, Vol 2 A History of US Spanish, Berlitz

Saxon uses timed math drills. To start they should be able to finish 100 facts in 5 minutes and then, eventually, be able to do them in 3 minutes. I noticed when division was introduced the timed math sheet only had 64 problems on it. Eventually, it is increased to 100. Ds is having trouble with his times tables so I give him 3 minutes to complete the table (I made a blank table in Excel) from 1-4. When he can do that successfully, with 100% accuracy and with time left over then I'll add the 5's. I think I might have to increase the allowed time after that though. I'm kind of winging it.

Your dh is the kind of teacher that all the others should look up to. If there were more like him the kids in public school would have a much better shot. We'll pray for his swift recovery of his physical injuries and the recovery of your family and their feelings of safety.

My step-kids did this when they moved in with us. They had always been public schooled. I did try to homeschool my step-daughter and that was disasterous! Anyway, I explained to them that homeschooling is a choice their dad and I made for ds. I told them that it put ds under strain when they bad-mouthed homeschooling and that it wasn't fair to him. I also explained to ds that his siblings had no idea what they were talking about since they had always been in public school. The long-term ramifications of this have been that ds wants his papers marked in red with a letter grade on top. He wants finals and year end grades. He wants to know what grade level he is in and he wants to be up to public school grade level for his age. He just recently found out that he's not up to grade level in his math and it has been a huge motivator for him. He also just realized that he is way above grade level in reading and it has made him feel wonderful. Long story short: Explain to your exchange student that he needs to keep his opinions to himself. Also, on your part, remember that he's a child and his viewpoints come from ignorance and maybe jealousy. He either has no idea how wonderful homeschooling is:ignorance or he's jealous that he doesn't get the attention that your kids are getting:jealousy. Thankfully it's only a temporary situation. My thoughts are with you.

Just a thought...I found that when I sat down and wrote out the schedule for the whole year that just guaranteed that I would be using an eraser soon. Inevitably like would get in the way and I'd find myself stressing over keeping the almighty schedule. I feel much better when I schedule a week at a time. Because of this (and life getting in the way), I won't finish our schoolbooks this year. I've decided that's okay. Basically that's what happens in public school. They might get new books every year, but they spend almost half the year reviewing what they learned the previous year. I just try to make sure ds learns the basics and is challenged. I am firmly convinced that most kids can start studying for their diploma/GED at about 15 and learn it all in just a few years. So I don't stress when we seem to go slower than I orginally planned. Life should get in the way. Flexibility is great "plus" to homeschooling.

Our 11 yob gets $12 every 2 weeks on payday. It was $10 every 2 weeks from 8 years old until 10 years old because he was really into the Bionicles and that's how much he needed to buy one every payday. At 10 years old we increased it to $12. At 13 we'll probably increase it to $15 and $20 at 16 years old. However, we don't pay allowance to children who have jobs. We give allowance so the child has some spending money so that means we don't buy toys, etc. except on birthdays and holidays. Ds doesn't have any chorse linked to his allowance. It is freely given for him to learn to budget and spend wisely. Although, when we go through lean times the allowance is the first thing to stop and he understands that. We have a chore/good behavior for school system where he can earn TV/electronic time. When he earns 14 hours of this time and chooses not to use the time then he gets paid cash. So now he's saving his Etime to earn the cash to buy a PS 2, which will be kept in a common area of the house.

www.daveramsey.com Did you know that you can make arrangements with the credit card companies yourself for lower minimum payments and even interest reduction? I definitely would not take a loan on the house. You need to get out of debt, not pile more on. I would try to make arrangements with the various credit card companies to pay less than the minimum payment so that you can pay something to everyone. Then, whenever you get any extra money that goes on the biggest debt. This is Dave Ramsey's Debt Snowball. He also recommends selling whatever you can, like an extra car, yard/garage sale if you have some big ticket items you can sell. Getting another job or working overtime is also one of his recommendations, just for a short while to pay off debt. I would implement whatever of these ideas that you can, but please, don't put yourself further in a hole with yet another loan.

I should say, the garage will be fine if you put a light on them. A red light is better for chicks. The webist above reccomends a 250 watt red blub suspended 18" above the chicks. When they are under a white light 24/7 they tend to starting "picking" each other. They are canibalistic, you know. If you keep them clean and happy though, they don't turn on each other.

They need to be kept between 90 & 95 degrees for the first week. Then you reduce the temperature by 5 degrees a week until you get to 70 degrees. This is if you got day old chicks. If they are huddling together they are too cold. If they are searching out the corners of the box they are too hot. I don't know of anyplace in the US where they would survive a night in the garage just yet. Here's my source: http://www.mcmurrayhatchery.com/chickcare.html Good luck and enjoy them!

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Mine is great! Never complains when I don't get the dishes done and never, ever under any circumstances criticizes me for taking a day off. We just celebrated 12 years and I'd marry him again in a heartbeat!

We also have a hard time getting started in the mornings. I like to wake up gradually, read my devotions and drink my coffee watching the chickens and the horses. Here's what our schedule looks like: I get up anywhere from 7-8:30, personal hygiene, devotions, quick bfast, then coffee & animals - this all takes me about 1/2-1 hours Ds, 11 (only child) gets up between 8 & 9, personal hygiene, eats, chores, jumps on tramp We usually end up starting our school day around 10 or 10:30. We just wing it after that. I chose what subjects we will study and how much work we will do and we start working on it. We take breaks as ds needs them. We take lunch around noon for 1/2 hour and then get back to work. Some days we school until 4 or 5 because we've taken so much liesure time during the day. Other days we have afternoon activities and need to leave our house 2 pm. On those days, I make sure that I don't schedule too much book work so that we can complete it in time to leave. This systems works very well for our family. It has taken me 5 years to learn to be this flexible though. Occassionally, ds still gives me trouble and doesn't want to complete his lessons. Those days are long and usually end with him back at the table doing schoolwork after evening sports and dinner. For the most part, though, this schedule has allowed ds to take the time he needs to burn energy and I don't feel that I have to keep a rigid schedule. When one of us isn't feeling well and can't focus, we either take the day off or drastically reduce the amount of work to be done (like have a history day, where we just read SOTW or A History of US or we just play math games). I also realize that a more flexible schedule means that we might have to school some in the summer (in NM we have to school 180 days/year). Ds finally understands that this year. I highly advocate flexibility, but I don't know how my sytem would work in a family with more than 1 child.

I had to re-asses my expectations. Sometimes I really was expecting more than ds could handle. Even if others his age could handle it. If he truly starts to hate scouts and doesn't want to do it you might have to consider some other way to entertain him while his siblings are there. I really think it's unfair to expect all siblings to enjoy the same activities. Maybe a friend could watch him during scouts. Maybe, he could play at the park with the 3 yo you mentioned. I'm not sure what the answer is, but I would be ready for that situation. As they get older their interests will not always be the same.

My son had a hard time sitting through the 4H meetings. It turns out that he really wasn't interested in 4H and it wasn't important to our family so we dropped out. I understand that's not an option for your family. It sounds like your ds does like scouts, but is testing the limits as you say. I used to react the way you did at your recent scout meeting. I say "react" instead of dicipline. I had to realize that helping my ds was more important than the way we looked to everyone else, ie, it doesn't matter if I'm embarrased, I have to look through his eyes. I realize the speaker he was being rude to was only 15 min., but had the meeting been long? Look for circumstances that you can control to reduce the frequency of problems with him. So here are some things to try: 1. Try to make sure he's not over tired or hungry. That might mean foregoing a playdate or park day before scouts. If you do have a busy day before scouts, pack a protien-rich snack. Make sure he gets enough sleep the night before scouts. 2. In the case of fingers in the ears: take him into the hallway or a more private area, get down to his level and tell him that his behavior is unacceptable and that he needs to be respectfull. Explain exactly what you expect respectable behavior to look like (it sounds like you did this in the meeting). You could have him pretend he's at church since you don't have a problem there. Take him back in the room and hope it works. If not you may need to wait in the hall or the back of the room with him. One thing is certain, compounding punishments just don't work because at some point the kid decides that life isn't going to be fun for quite some time so why not continue to act up? 3. In the case of the sand: There were surely some warnings made to him before he was ejected. I would have reinforced the warning given by the leader. If he did it again I would have taken him aside and told him that he could not participate if he didn't quit throwing sand. Explain the rules of the game and that sometimes in sports there are "waiting" times where he needs to pay attention to what others are doing. 4. Something else that has worked for me in the past is to have a talk before hand about the expectations. If he really does weigh the consequences with the intended bad behavior then threatening punishments won't work. So, instead offer a reward if he behaves for the whole scout meeting and activities. Maybe an extra 1/2 hour of TV for that week or something else that is special to him. I agree with the other's suggestions to have a talk with him also. Come to him with an open mind to listen to everything he has to say no matter how ridiculous it sounds to you. He needs to know that you value what he has to say. Maybe say something to him like "you've had trouble at scouts the last few times. What was the problem?" If he gives you the "I dunno" Ask if he was tired, didn't feel well, didn't like the speaker, didn't like what was happening in the game, etc. Your attitude should be "we need to fix this problem you are having", not "can't you just behave!!!". I noticed a huge difference in ds's behavior and general attitude when I started relating to him from a problem solving point of view. I do remember about a year of these types of struggles though. For your question about what to do about the defiance, (not taking his fingers out of his ears when you tell him to). Tell him he needs to obey you or there will be consequences. Tell him that if he doesn't like something to let you know quietly or after the fact. I think a punishment for not taking his fingers out of his ears is completely acceptable, but building them up just doesn't work. I would keep it to one punishment, but make it worthwhile. So after the scout meeting I would say, "Son, remember when I told you to take your fingers out of your ears and listen respectfully?" He'll say "yes" or you prompt to say "yes" Then you say, "You didn't obey me so your consequence is this..." Be very calm, there's no need to fight. If he tries to argue or cries, just tell him that you are sorry he feels bad, but he should obey you. When you enforce the consequence make sure you remind him, once, why he's being punished. So the way this would look: at the time of the disobedience- "Son, take your fingers out of your ears and listen respectfully, like you do at church." If he doesn't, but is being otherwise not disruptive I wouldn't do anything else during the meeting. I would have the aforementioned talk after the meeting and then enforce the consequence at the very next available time. If he's being disruptive; I would remove him and wait someplace else where he will be less disruptive, have the aforementioned discussion and enforce the consequnce as soon as possible. The next time he misbehaves you can then remind him of his previous punishment and how unhappy he was about it. Tell him that if he doesn't do what you tell him, then he will be punished again. It's his choice. The most important thing I've had to remember is to control myself. It's so easy for me to escalate when my ds doesn't obey me. Everytime I had to say something to him I became more angry and he got another consequence lumped on him. I had to coach myself to remember that I am the parent and my job is to help him LEARN HOW to behave, not just punish him into behaving. From that point on, things really turned around. It was an epiphany for me and I'm sure my son was very happy about it. Now, alot of the time I calmly reinforce my expectations, let him make mistakes and suffer the consequences of them. He doesn't weigh the consequences against the misbehavior anymore either. I hope this helps. I hope it comes across clearly, because it all seemed so jumbled up in my head!

We live 20 minutes from anything, though. All of our activities cost us drive time. Even when we lived in Salt Lake City, though, we drove 25 min. one way 2-3 times a week for Brazilian Jiu JItsu. It's a quality thing and my son really likes BJJ. We have a great studio here and I would drive even farther to take him to it. It is hard and sometimes I just want to stay home! When that happens I remember my parents driving me into town (20 min. one way) 6:30 am for marching band practice and picking me up from town at 4:30 every day for 3 years in mid high and high school. That's besides all the night time choir rehearsals/performances and church choir and classes. My grandmother is fond of saying that she wore out an entire car on my aunt's extra activities, but it was well worth it!

It's hard when a beloved pet becomes sick. Both of my cats are 16 years old now and are in chronic renal failure. It took $300 to get the first one diagnosed and because of that I know what's going on with the second one now. I've had these cats since they were 6 weeks old. They are an integral part of my family; used to sleep in my son's crib with him. They have outlived 2 family dogs. I realize that they have had long, full and happy lives. I do not want them to suffer, but I can't go into the poor house no matter how much I love them. I have decided that when they get really sick and/or their quality of life drops significantly I will take them to the vet to be put to sleep. I had to look at my motivations, upon diagnosis, to keep them alive at all costs. I realized that that was for me more than for them. They have comforted me and loved me their whole lives. It is now my turn to love them enough to let them go when the time comes. As for your beloved Rajah, only you can decide what's best for him. A tumor can be painful, especially when it gets big. You are not a bad kitty mommie if you put him out of his misery. You also don't have to replace him immediately or at all. Maybe you could get smaller pets for your kids to enjoy, you know, aquarium sized pets. I wish you luck with you decision and hope my story helps you.

I lay on the couch and try to go to sleep. I alleviates the stress of keeping dh awake while I'm tossing and turning. Sometimes I go right to sleep. If I can't go to sleep I will read or surf the internet and I usually get sleepy and am able to get back to sleep. Sometimes I just have to stay up. I've decided that I won't stress when I wake up in the night and that seems to help. I have a friend who watches MTV because it's so boring now that they don't have headbangers ball!

I hate to be the lone dissenter here...but it's the lack of consience that bother's me here. Even at that age children understand when someone is hurt and naturally want to make them feel better. If this kid can't even show any concern for a hurt "family" member there are huge problems. Having a conseince is something that can't be learned. I thought my step-daughter just needed love and understanding. She's almost 18 and still has no consience or compassion for others. My husband and I worked with her for 11 years, once we discovered the problem. We loved on her, gave her tools for working out her frustration, talked alot about how others felt as well as how she felt. If anyone has a success story for dealing with a child like this I'd love to hear it. It would give me hope that she'll eventually be fine. But saying to just love this little boy is falling short of his needs.