I think touching is a cultural/regional thing. Here a hug is a very common greeting between friends of the same or opposite genders, probably more so at church where people feel close. Men hug. Women hug. Men and women hug. When I meet someone for the first time, I have trained myself to do a handshake across our bodies, and only hug if they start it (sort of a "pat on the back" with the other hand). But my instinct is to hug! I also sometimes touch people when speaking with a friend--just like SolaMichella says above. And I very often invite people to hold hands when we pray. Some folks are just naturally touchy-feely. Sexual comments, on the other hand, I'd be hard pressed to think of one. Wink wink, nudge nudge, know what I mean?

Thanks for sharing... the phrase "live carefully" is very interesting, and I haven't heard it before. My first reaction was there is an implication that people of other faiths aren't "careful" or are "reckless" (the closest antonym I could think of). But I would guess that isn't the intent? Does "careful" relate to other sorts of behaviors, such as drinking, dancing, etc? Or just avoiding the opposite sex? I hadn't thought about particular religious teachings. My church is in a very diverse but largely Jewish area, so, for example, I know the guy at the great falafel store on the corner will give me my change without touching my hand. I understand keeping to ancient traditions in this regard... I was more surprised that there were so many more mainstream folks who seemed to live this way. To look at another issue of vulnerablity... my dh doesn't drink. His grandfather was an alcoholic, so he chose at 15 to abstain from alcohol for life. That makes sense to me. But he also has no problems with anyone around him drinking socially. I occasionally will have a beer or glass of wine (occasionally meaning 2-3 times a year). It isn't a temptation for me to drink to excess, so I can have a sip here or there in moderation. But I am responsible for my own choices, not those of others. I can understand not "tempting" anyone actively (obviously flirtation or sexual comments to a married person would be plain wrong), but I simply don't think that simply being female in the presence of men is any kind of temptation to or excuse for sin.

I'm always amazed at the number of people on these boards who advocate a sort of married couple sexual segregation. I have lots of male friends, I fairly frequently have lunch or coffee with male friends as well as female--both in ministry and just to get together. So much of my work is of the "talking and hanging out and listening to" type. My closest friends do tend to be female (but not always), but I can't even imagine my dh worrying about such things, nor do I worry when he gets together with a female friend. Usually our friends are mutual friends, whether single or part of a couple, and if one of us is busy the other doesn't fear to socialize alone. I have NO interest in romance/sex with anyone but my husband, and I'd be shocked if anyone intimated such a thing. Pondering further, I guess I understand that some people may be so intensely tempted to commit adultery that they have to totally avoid any opportunity to do so. I know that alcoholics avoid alchohol for similar reasons. But a drink isn't a person--I can't see how avoiding people of the opposite gender for a lifetime is a healthy response. I guess my shock is that so MANY people find extramarital sex such a strong temptation, or fear that their spouse does, and arrange their married lives around that fact. Just searching online, I found various studies that estimate anywhere between 20% and 60% of men may have an affair at some time in their marriage (the numbers for women are far fewer). That's quite a range, really. Taking into account that there are some "repeat offenders" out there (they've been married before, have cheated before) raising the statistics, I would surmise that your chances are pretty good of finding fidelity in a 1st marriage with a man who has so far been faithful--or with a man who was faithful in his first marriage. Either way. I love my husband like life. But I'd hate to have to screen my friends, or demand the same of him. OK... I actually went and counted. 74 of my 204 facebook friends are male. Many are colleagues, but I wouldn't be surprised to have an email from any of them.

Asked my ds's and dh. Yes, they do know what he is talking about. The characters don't actually speak, but Princess Leia has a scene in which her special attack is a knee to the groin. There may be an achievement for doing so. It's been while. I would say it is in a minor part of the game, and we didn't find it objectionable... but your son is being fairly accurate.

I love this song... My God, My Savior by Aaron Schust It came on the radio as I was driving home after finding out my brother died. It was such a "God thing"... just what I needed at that exact moment.

That's my answer too... Trader Joes and Costco.

That was sort of what I was afraid of with used appliances. That they will already have serious problems, even though everyone seems to be selling them only because "we have to move suddenly, and the new place doesn't have a laundry room/comes with a washer and dryer already". Has anyone had good luck with used?

Yes. I do love the boards (hey, been here a whole lotta years), but they've always been far more conservative than "average", and certainly far more than me. Now, I'll admit I'm liberal and live in a blue state, but these boards are definately not representative of the mainstream on the whole. Which isn't a totally bad thing--I mean, we homeschool, right? I lived in a truly socialist country for several years (Norway) and it was AWESOME! I still have friends there, one couple visited recently, and they think it's awesome too. "Ja, vi elsker dette landet..." I'd live there again in a drop dead minute--yeah, it's expensive and has high taxes--but very safe, clean, beautiful, friendly, liberal, and very family oriented. Unfortunately, my dh isn't really interested in living outside the US.

I did. Filed a police report, called the insurance company (though we have a deductible). The weird thing is: I'm not sure *I* believe it. I kept walking around the house--like they would reappear or something. They were definately there this morning, because I was outside throwing away junk from my car. It was early, maybe I wouldn't have noticed--but my dh saw them last night. Who steals a washer and dryer? After I got off the phone with my insurance company I was thinking that I'll get a call from the adjuster--"They stole your WHAT?"

They were located outside the door on the side of the house, but covered, gated in and not visible from the street. It really must have been a) a neighbor or b) one of the "mow and blow" yard guys to know it was there, and take it during the 2 hours dh and kids were out of the house. Anyhow, we're moving in 3 weeks, so looking at the bright side I guess thats a few hundred pounds less on our moving allowance, right? I haven't even begun to think about buying a new washer and dryer--ours were just a few years old. It was a traditional top loader, not a new fancy one. Here's what I want: A washer that will hold a BIG load. A dryer that dries everything the first time, even if I forget to empty the lint tray. And fast. As fast as possible. Oh, and cheap. Or cheap-ish. Advice from those who have recently purchased? Is this something I might be able to get used from Craig's list, or is it too likely to get a lemon?

No, I totally agree. I was very demanding about doing labor my own way, no drugs, even though I had a hospital birth I refused to have an IV, wear a gown, go on a monitor, let anyone take the baby, etc. I had to have a *special* nurse with natural childbirth experience. I love that you advocate for women on this, and I think I was pretty luck to have such a good labor/delivery experience... Just had to say, since I had posted advice above, that sometimes it happens.

I agree with your point... I didn't want an episiotomy or anything like that, and sometimes tearing really isn't preventable. I had a wonderful natural, unmedicated birth using hypnobirthing... but fast. Not because I was induced, but because I labor fast. My first birth I had just over 10 minutes of pushing. I think they were expecting it would be a while! I had 3-4 pushes and "whoopee" there he was. My doctor wasn't there (it was 1am) and the doctor sleeping on call barely had a chance to walk into the room and catch him before he hit the floor. I had pretty severe tearing. There was just no time for streching and gently guiding him into the world. In... then out. Boom. My second delivery I told my new doctor it would be fast--and he still missed it. I caught the baby myself with the help of the nurse--3 pushes, around 7 minutes. Less tearing, but still some. If we have a third, I'm thinking it'll be one push, and we might want to put a basket with a target on the other side of the room. I think I'm up for it. Just to say, I do understand your point--but sometimes tearing really is unavoidable, and not the fault of the medical profession.

See... I love the Mary Poppins movie. It isn't the books at all (which I also loved as a child) but still fun. And I thought The Tale of Despereux was wonderful! That's one I never read the book at all, so I have no comparison, but I really enjoyed the movie. My vote for worst remake of a children's classic is "The Dark is Rising". The book is wonderful, the movie is just plain bad. Not only did they totally change it, but it no longer made any sense.

I think Ellen had some great tips. Dermoplast spray was the best thing ever. I think they gave me some when I was discharged... if not, I'd buy some right quick. Keep the ice packs coming. After a week or so, I was mostly using the Tucks pads. I would sometimes soak them in witchhazel first (I think they have some on them, I'd put more). Stings like bugger-all when they first go on, but really helps after a few minutes. And take those stool-softener pills! Also tell her to keep in mind... this too shall pass. It will get better eventually. I tore substantially with my first labor (because I labor too quick and hard, basically--short but powerful!), but the second was not a problem. I had forgotten how painful that time was--until I read your post and Ellens great advice brought it all back to me. Ouch.

Thank you for all the thoughts and opinions... It is helpful to know that many kids do similar things. At least some. :glare: I think there is also a level of truth in the consistency issues. We do try to enforce obedience--but I think when things get stressed out (and we get stressed, and the kids get stressed) our follow up isn't as good as usual. We are in the midst of moving for the 2nd time in a year, and tempers are short. Hence my post. I think dh and I both need a brush-up on effective responses, and ds is probably acting out more due to the turmoil. I also suspect that he is finally discovering how being the one in trouble gets more attention. He is my cuddly one (still climbs in bed with me most mornings) and tends to be very sensitive, but generally is not disobedient. Except about this. Thanks for all the responses. Its been a long day.

That was what we thought at first. We just ignored it. But he simply escalates until he gets a reaction. This morning (what prompted me to write), he said to me "Mommy, I'm going to pee on you! Pee on your head... pee on your butt..." Ummmm... excuse me? Maybe it seems MORE inappropriate to me because I'm an adult, but I feel like I can't just ignore some things, especially because he will continue in public too.

It's not just the humor... its sort of... hmmm... potty verbal aggression--- "I'm going to pee on you!" "Smell my butt!" He also has farted in people's general direction, and sort of tried to wave the smell over. It's bad. Not the smell, the behavior.

OK. I'm ready for this "phase" to be done. My 5 year old has spent about the last 6 months obsessing about potty talk. Poop. Pee. Butts. Farts. He loves to get his older brother upset by saying things like "I'm going to poop on you!" Or bending over, dropping his pants, and mooning the room. I swear he never saw anyone do this IRL... but he instinctively invented mooning. Ugh. Both my dh and I are sick of it. Not to mention 7yo, who is really really done. At first we thought it was a phase, would redirect and move on. It continued. We've done "go to your room", he has even been spanked (not a common thing in our home). It has continued. He'll stop for a while, then it starts again in a few hours or days. He didn't pick it up from other kids, "on the playground", or from his brother... he just likes to talk about scatology. What to do? Anyone BTDT? When will it end?????

and I'm stumped. There must be someone here who has internet rurally... what are our best options? I've checked out satellite, but most places say that they only have 1.5 mps. We currently have 3.0 with our DSL. Is there anything comprable? I'm worried, because we will have up to 6 people using the connection at the same time!

Yep... 1982-1986. 8th and 9th grades at Hovedgarden Ungdomskole, 10th grade at the Oslo American School. There used to be one other OAS alum on this board.

Novice: Latin, Biblical Greek (reading -- not conversing), Biblical Hebrew (ditto), Chinese, French, Spanish (used to be Intermediate in French, haven't studied it since H.S.) Intermediate: Russian (used to be Superior, when I was living in Kazakhstan), Norwegian (used to be fluent, but after not using it for 20 years I can still understand almost everything and conversed stiltedly when we had Norwegian houseguests in January) The best is that I KNOW as a teen I could think in Norwegian, and frequently dreamed in Norwegian. I've never gotten to that level of comfort with another language.

Wow. No one EVER calls me Mrs. _______. I would probably fall over in a faint! I call everyone by thier first name. Exceptions I can think of include: medical doctors. But if I knew them socially, not as a patient, you bet I'd use thier first name. Also my bishop... I call her Bishop Swenson. But I call her husband by his first name, not Mr. Swenson (which I'm not even sure IS his last name). I try to use the names people give me (I don't make up nicknames) but if I heard you calling your spouse "Bob", I'd assume that was OK, regardless of how I was formally introduced. Not so much if you called him "Sweet-cheeks", or some such. I remember when we first moved to California it seemed odd that when they ask for your name at a restaurant (for reservations) they want your FIRST name. I'm not sure--is everywhere on a first name basis now (I've lived out here almost 20 years), or is it just a west coast thing? Maybe it's because I never heard my mom called Mrs.--in formal situations she was "Captain" (the earliest I remember), "Major", eventually "Colonel"--never Mrs. Though she, like me, uses her middle name and is called Kay.

Thanks for all the great ideas and support, all! I'm just back from a meeting today with staff at my new church. Went well! I love the idea of encouraging families to invite us over, even if I go by myself. Not that I don't enjoy hosting, but 200 dinners seem like a lot to plan for!

I'm pretty sure that that was NOT an anubis statue, but a statue of Taweret, the hippo-headed Egyptian goddess of childbirth. Pregnant women would wear amulets of protection showing her. Perhaps when the statue was destroyed was when women stopped being able to have children on the island (since we know some children were born there previously)? Also... biblical Jacob died in Egypt. Perhaps he went to the island? Speaking of Egyptian mythology, my dh and I were talking long today about LOST, and wondered... any discussion on the net about Horace = Horus?

Update? Did you make it to the doctor?