The conclusion I often have to come to in tough situations involving my own dh is this: sometimes he just goes down paths that I cannot go down. No matter how much I'd LIKE to follow him down this or that path (I'm not a natural leader.) ....... I. Just. Can't. Do. It. Which is not to say I don't think you should encourage him in whatever he needs to do to pull out of whatever pit he seems to have dug for himself and jumped into. It's only to say, don't jump in there with him. You're the one thinking rationally now. Not him. Trust that knowledge. And, of course, keep on praying. :grouphug:

No real curriculum, but when I asked our 17yod about the Russian alphabet (she loves languages), she made a couple of suggestions. She said she already knew the Greek alphabet, and learning the Russian alphabet was easy because of that. It helped her to make a copy of the Russian (or whatever lang.) alphabet with the associated sounds for each letter next to the letter. She put this beside the Russian text, and used it to pronounce each word as she read through the text. Tedious at first, but slowly she made the effort to decrease the use of the sheet, until, eventually she could pronounce all the words. (Hope that was clear??)

The parts about the North/South differences reminded me of something amusing I learned from a native NC girl when I worked at the UNC-CH dental school years ago. She and I had several bosses, and one of them was a transplanted, New York City Jewish dentist. I was only 23yo and totally oblivious, generally. So she took it upon herself to 'educate' me (I'm from the South, btw.). Anyway, she explained to me that the NYC guy misinterpreted the friendliness of Southerners. He thought they were all wanting to be his friend, or something like that. She had to explain to him that Southerners are taught 'manners', and that he was mistaking this for something else - he should just view it as politeness and keep going. If you (OP) are on the Gulf Coast, however, you're deep into big-time Southern Belle territory. :ack2: Sounds like you just landed in a big, ole nest of 'em. ;) Here are a couple of examples. When I was a teen, one of my cousins was a Southern Belle in training. She took charm courses, made sure she hung out with only other Southern Belles, wore the 'right' clothes, dyed her hair blonde and 'fixed' it every day, and totally snubbed me because I was a "hick" (from SC) when we went down to LA to visit all the relatives. Another cousin, who NEVER left the house without full makeup, was teasing me when I told her I was moving to NC, "Oh, you're moving up North. You're gonna be a Yankee." :blink::confused: Anyway, maybe you should find some good ole rednecks and you might have a little more luck. Least, that's what I would do. :D

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pool table with formica cover - nice and big and indestructible red ink pens clipboards and pencil holders CD players - music and foreign languages and McGee and MacArthur and AM radio copier - everything cats, dog, birdfeeders - to rest the eyes and mind when reading for a long time view - of the outdoors with, hopefully, something relaxing to look at book bags - everything Staples tables = desks index card boxes - mostly the giant ones; not tiny shelves - all over the place musical instruments library and all the usual stuff - white boards, markers, ref. books, 3-ring notebooks, art supplies, etc.

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When we had 5 dc (ages = newborn to 10yo), I put them all to bed at 7pm every night, and they usually woke up (on their own) around 5-6am every morning. They took a 1 1/2 - 2 hour nap every day right after lunch, too.

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You don't have to be smart. You don't even have to be smarter than the kid. You just have to guide, model, set standards, instill strong work ethic, hold them accountable, and get out of their way - academically, that is. Teach her how to research and then provide her with the opportunities to practice, practice, practice those skills. And if you're stumped there are many people here who can offer suggestions/help. You'll be fine. :) Now the rest of it ... that's liable to be much harder than the academics.

Oh, that's gone way past support; and straight into true love!!!:)

My dh was mostly indifferent. I educated him and myself with the few materials available - it was 1988. I had a 14yos in the ps's at the time and we had both been watching him go through the ps system without a lot of real academic learning going on (he was learning things, true ... just not a lot of academics). I suppose the clincher came when I finally had ds tested for supposed learning disabilities which everybody and their mother kept asking me if he had. When I went in to hear the results, they said he had NO learning disabilities (well duh!!:glare:); but that he was 'behind'. When questioned, I learned that the ps system he was in did absolutely nothing for any kids who were behind until they were 2 years behind. :001_huh: So what they were telling me was that they basically let kids get so far behind that there was almost no hope of their ever catching up, before they did anything about it. And, btw, I was always asking his teachers how he was doing. 90% of the time I heard, "Fine". Anyway, after feeling quite powerless over the whole ps thing with 14yos, I was overjoyed to learn about hs'ing. So I researched and shared all of it with dh. He listened - even when he probably just wished I'd shut up - and pretty much let me decide for myself. Dh has always worked long days and been very wrapped up in his job. Still is. So, even though I consulted him as much as I could, he remained basically indifferent. And I took that as a resounding YES!! ;) to hs'ing, so here we are.

Maybe they're flying squirrels. Try to think of them instead of the other things until the exterminator gets there. Flying squirrels are adorable. Rather tame, slow, tiny ... our cats catch them off and on. They live in our shop roof. They're also mostly nocturnal. They're harmless, as far as I can tell. Maybe it's only flying squirrels .....:001_smile:

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I took in one of my brother's dd's once. They divorced and he had custody ... long story. This may not apply if your niece is young; but that remaining parent can have a very strong pull on the child. My ex-sil didn't really want the child (well, niece was 14yo); but she didn't want my brother or anyone else to have her either. But she would call her and upset her and I didn't feel like there was much I could do about it at the time. So I'd suggest getting as much as possible done legally, with all the paperwork done to give yourself something to stand on; because if he thinks he can avoid paying child support by taking custody, he just might try to get it - whether he really wants the child or not. Also, AFTER I took my niece in, I realized she had no insurance of any kind. Remember things like that when you're doing the legal stuff.

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No idea what you should do, but remember just because YOU can drive in it doesn't mean the OTHER guy can. Especially down here in the South where there is a mixture of Northerners and Southerners, ifkwim. Plus, the snow here is so wet and slippery ... I wouldn't do it. :)

If you happen to have any stumps in your yard, they make great birdfeeders. Or you could use any post. The first 3 pics are of a stump which rotted and ds dug a hole closer to our slider and stuck it in that. It's held up very well and it's closer to the slider. The next 2 pics are in the front yard. It's a stump with a board nailed to the top. Dd cut up a dowel and nailed it to the top edges to keep the seeds from washing/falling out. The great thing about these crude feeders (besides the cost) is that ALL the creatures can eat at them. We often have a few different kinds of squirrels and many different kinds of birds all eating at the same time. There's enough food for all, so they don't fight over it. Every now and then our chickens or peacocks will come and bump off the birds and squirrels. But they all take turns throughout the day. We enjoy watching all the creatures. Then, at night, when the daytime creatures are all asleep, out come the raccoons, possums, and other critters. If you have bears, they come at night or during the day. They're not too particular. They'll sit and lick the feeders clean. (That's 16yod in the pics. She's about 5'2" tall, to give you an idea of the size of the feeders.) We've also made feeders nailed to trees using a platform like you see in the pics, supported by a piece of wood nailed to the tree and the bottom of the platform to form a triangular shape. This is great because you can put it on any tree and get it up high next to an upstairs bedroom window. (But if you have bears, the young ones will climb the tree and sit in the feeder to eat the seeds. The big ones stand up and hang on the feeder, sometimes pulling it down. I can hear them crunching the seeds in the middle of the night. :)

You can feed the eggshells to the chickens if you crush them first. Our dd's do this. Make sure there's no way the chicken can recognize it as an egg. If they do, that's when they develop the nasty habit of "egg-mongering", as our dd's call it, where they actually crack the eggs open in the nesting boxes and eat them. And dd's haven't found a way to 'cure' a chicken of this habit once it's started; so they have to get rid of that particular chicken lest it teach all the others the same thing. Dd's will also scramble some eggs in the microwave and feed them to a sick or baby chicken. They say it's good for them.

:grouphug:

He gets Paid Time Off. He can use it for anything he wants to use it for. Same for all of the guys he works with. Thus, the passing around of every illness that comes down the pike. They all go to work sick. :tongue_smilie: Also, they must use it up every year. No carrying over anything. I just asked him. He has 10 holidays plus 4 weeks and 2 days PTO.

I asked my 19yod (because she was unlucky enough to be standing nearby when I read your question) and this is what she typed: To prepare for the great books list, basically I did the grammar and logic stage reading lists and history books (KF, Usborne, or whatever is listed in the WTM). The purpose of these appears to be to make one familiar with the stories and the historical backgrounds, and to interest one. (My older brothers did not do this, and they said the great books were unbearably boring at first.) So that was the answer to how I helped them prepare for reading the GB's list in WTM. I read most of the Gram Stage books, some of the Logic stage books, and a few of the Rhetoric Stage GB's - esp. the latter end of the list. Still working on the front end of the list. Note: OK. I counted. I've read ~45 of the GB's on the list.

We had to sell a house in Northern Virginia while living in Idaho back in 1989-90 when the bottom dropped out of the real estate market. It was a lesser house in a nicer neighborhood. Wound up having to have it painted, new carpet, and drop the price, to sell it more than 6 months later. The realtor didn't want to drop the price; but we had already moved into a rental in Idaho and couldn't afford to support 2 houses. It sold quickly after we did all that. Another house we sold (NH) sold in 3 days to the first person who looked at it. We had painted the inside and outside, cleared out ALL clutter, had every single light on, all shades open, and banana bread baking in the bread machine when realtor showed it. I also took youngest 3 kids and dogs and left before the showing. Oldest 2 kids were helping dh paint the outside when realtor came. Cats were tossed outside. House was warm, bright, smelled delicious, clean, and quiet. We only showed it that one time. FWIW

I had to call him at work about something else, so I slipped this question in. Here's the quote: "I have to go to work now. (long pause) You have the patience to do it and I never would have. (another long pause ... means he's thinking up what he thinks he should say ;)) Didn't want to subject them to the ps's and couldn't afford private schools with you staying home ... and it was important for you to stay home ... (here he's about to get himself into trouble so he just stops talking - which is my que to say ... 'OK, bye.' Which I say.) :) As I remember it, however, he didn't really care one way or the other. He was too busy building his career; so anything to keep me out of his hair while he did that was OK by him. Sometimes God just blesses me in the most unexpected ways..... ;):D

Yeah, I'd be honored to do it, if it seemed like the right thing to do. Unfortunately, it looks like it's a real possibility that I'll be dead and buried before I ever have grandchildren. We'll see. But it would have to occur after much discussion with both their parents. Unless it was some kind of emergency where I had to jump right in. I've often thought how much fun it would be to take on a few more kids to hs, now that I know more what I'm doing and am more comfortable with the whole thing. I wouldn't care if they were grandkids or not. Just kids in general would be great. Oh well. Oh yeah. Our 21yod has also expressed interest in hs'ing young kids, too. Not necessarily hers (since she's not even married); just kids. :)

I had/have a mil very similar to yours. And dh was also reluctant to act - partly from fear of her, partly because she was a master at dangling 'rewards' in front of him (money, things, beach vacations, praise, ego building talks, etc.). None of this behavior is honoring to anyone - you, your dc, your dh, your mil, no one. In hindsight, a few of the things which helped were: - I focused on protecting our dc. I couldn't wait for dh to 'wake up' and protect us from this woman, who, btw, would likely never change (and hasn't, after 30 years). Dc were young and susceptible. If I hadn't done it, it wouldn't have been done at all. I've never regretted that decision. If your dh is unable to act responsibly, for whatEVER reason, then your dc are depending on you. You're next in line. - I kept my nose clean. I didn't give her the ammunition she was CONSTANTLY seeking. She would do and say cruel things to me (and 2 of our ds's) in an attempt to goad me into getting angry and blowing up at her so she could run to dh and point her finger at me to distract dh from her own behavior. I always treated her respectfully, no matter what she did or said. I did intervene when it involved dc, and I would do things like turn and walk away if she began cursing at me (which was always when dh was out of the room); but I tried to act in a way such that I could look back years later and have no regrets for anything I did or said to this woman. And 30 years later, I can honestly say that I have no regrets about how I treated her. - I prayed for protection constantly for me and my dc. Biblically, dh is the protector, but since the reality was that dh was NOT protecting us, I turned to the Lord and prayed using different Psalms. In the end, the Lord had mercy on me and our dc and protected us in many unexpected ways. Never stop praying. - I found ways to vent my frustrations. I would write about things. I would talk to select people from church. I would talk to a counselor. The counselor helped me understand the big picture of what was going on; but the counselor's approach was more of a tit-for-tat thing. If mil did this, counselor would advise me to do that. Until, finally, the counselor just blurted out in frustration one day that this woman was a "master manipulator". Trying to 'outsmart' mil was not the answer - which is what counseling ended up being in my case. - I kept dh informed, whether he wanted to be or not. When mil did/said inappropriate things, I told dh, in a very matter-of-fact tone, and left it sitting in front of him. I put the ball back in his court. He might not have wanted to hear or believe it, but I refused to live in his fantasy world. Keeping dh informed held him accountable - like it or not. And that's all I can remember right now. It all looks so simple and neat in black and white print. It wasn't. There was much anguish and many tears and a lot of anger. But in the end, the Lord worked it out. Dh finally changed our phone number to an unlisted number. When he didn't give mil the phone number, she got furious and cut off all contact with us. Even her own son. Anyway, I know your situation is different; but, maybe there are a few things here which could help you.