I can't say for sure, but I am pretty certain that this was NOT the driving rationale behind this particular policy. Might be the consequence but I don't think it was the reason.

Yes it would make sense - it is a stand alone. The writing is still average, the lead character is the same. It is pretty much a carbon copy of his previous books with a search and replace of Rome/Paris for DC and Grail for Ancient Mysteries.

We live in a gated community in Bangalore. Kids roam, ride bikes, are in and out of neighbor houses until dark. It is wonderful not having to worry all the time, not having to escort them or drive them every time they want to see a friend. We are lucky that we have a large family (8 kids) of homeschoolers right next door so my son has hit the friend jackpot! My mom came for a vist and said that our neighborhood reminded her of US in the 1950's when kids just roamed around until the factory whistle blew and everyone went home for dinner! It did take me years to get over my anxiety of having kids out of my sight. My Indian friends probably still would say I am a little on the more protective/hovering side!

Former Mafia addict here. :blushing: I still can't understand why it happened. It is boring, sucks up time, no real skill involved and yet...I spent a lot of time working my way up in the Mafia organization. Thank god that the WTM forum took over my time!

You should have a dot from India now!:001_smile:

Personally, I believe a Christian is anyone who claims they are a Christian. They may not fit into your definition of a "Christian" but that is not really the point. If I claim to be a Christian, who is anyone to tell me I am not? Can any particular church claim I am not? Of course they can try - but it won't impact my belief in what I am. I may be completely outside the mold that most of you would have for a Christian. But I believe myself to be one. Does that make me one or not?

Stole this information from another thread.... __________________

Hi! I am an American expat in India! We are from Portland and did love living there! I don't know must about the home schooling question because we started only after living abroad. However, I would point out that lots of people chose to live in Vancouver just to get in-state tuition at UW. When we move back we may consider moving to the other side of the border for that very reason!

I just don't believe in church...but I am ok with a god - I don't know what that makes me! I grew up in a Christian house (dad is a pastor, grandfather is pastor, great-grandfather was a pastor...). It was a very liberal Christan upbringing, however. I saw from an early age that people could call themselves "Christian" and yet be the ugliest, meanest people you met. We often had church members who were just hateful people. We were also involved in some prominent Christian organizations - the leaders of which engaged in sexual harrassment and infidelity. So...I don't have any faith that beloning in an institutionalized religion is any guarantee of anything. I married a Hindu. We teach our children that there are many forms of god. I do hope they find solace, comfort in the concept of a god. However, we will not force them to choose one path over another.

Good for you! You both sounded reasonable, flexible and that you were trying to do what is best for DS. Hope you guys can keep this up!

I am right there with you! My four year old has been below the charts for a while now! He hasn't outgrown clothes in about 2 years! He is VERY energetic, eats very little but is otherwise healthy. We have been to pediatricians, gastroenterologists and others. We have ruled out celliac and other malabsorption issues. Looks like he is just small. Every now and then I freak out and do another round of internet searching but so far - no ideas. You are not alone!

I would recommend contacting your state bar to see if they have low cost referrals. I used to practice in Oregon and our bar would refer clients to lawyers at an agreed upon lower rate. It is worth a shot. I would also try legal aid - no reason that you would not get a good attorney that way and the cost is usually adjusted to income. That being said, one of the first things your attorney should do is to request $$ from DH for legal fees. This is standard practice. Usually I would request about $5000 against the final property settlment to go into a legal fees fund. Good luck.

LOL - not up to code - you should write newspaper headlines!:lol:

I believe in both evolution and an intelligent designer. (Although my desighner might look a bit different from what most are thinking of!) I don't have any problem with the belief that a God put all of this into motion - the big bang, the creation of the species. I believe it took millions and millions of years (which may be 7 days for God - how would we know?) I believe God is smart enough to have planted the seed for life and simply let it develop along its path.

The thread title sounds like the weirdest homeschool writing (composition) program I ever have heard of ! I could not imagine what the topic possibly could be, so came in to read. :iagree: I thought so too! Of course, I livei in a country where a nice, new housing development was named "Mildew!" So I am used to weird names for stuff!

Serious is life threatening/health threatening. Serious is also emotional abuse. For example - if you said the girl was calling him a sh*t, yelling at him, cursing him out. That is serious because it sounds emotionally abusive. If you said that drugs were being used in his presense or that EX was driving drunk with son in the car - that is all serious. But, exposure to people with no class, exposure to people you don't like, eating junk food, playing video games, etc - none of that is serious - even if as a mother you wouldn't allow it. One way to look at it is this - would DHS or Child Services step in and investigate the problem? If it is drugs, abuse, etc then the answer is yes they would because it is a serious problem. If it is a kid eating junk food, the answer is no they would not because it is a parenting issue. One more thing, I don't want to discount your son's feelings. If he continues to REALLY resist going to dad's house I might was to get a therapist involved to talk with him. Just to see if it is a transition problem or if there is something else causing him to want to avoid going there.

Yeah, I think I would. You can also try to use it as a teaching opportunity. You can amake sure he understands that there may be different rules in different houses. In your house certain language is not ok. He may hear things out in the world that are not ok. You expect certain behavior of him regardless of where he is. Even when he is at dad's house you expect him to (be polite, not curse, pick up after himself, etc...) It is a good chance for him to learn that even when mom is not around there are right and wrong behaviors. This is a process, there will be bumps in the road! Make a record of the serous stuff and try and let the other stuff roll off your back!

Scarlett - I hope you don't feel like I'm picking on you...but since you asked:001_smile: You need to adjust your thinking. Parenting is not about all the things you do with your kids. It can also be about the time you spend with your kids. If you have full custody then your son is home with you most of the time. I would venture to say that during the time he is with you there might be times you talk on the phone with a girlfriend, watch a show on TV, do laundry or any of a million other activities. But during all that time your son is with you, in the house with you, able to see you and be with you. When a parent loses custody they lose so much. They lose all those nights tucking in the child, or reading a story or being there when they have a bad day. You cannot expect that is EX doesn't have something "planned" that means he should give up his TIME with his son. The TIME is the important thing - not the activity. Many custodial and non-custodial parents get caught up in this trap. It seems (IMHO) that you have a prblem with the girl. You are allowed to have that feeling. If it ever gets to the point of being dangerous to your son or really interfering with his time with dad you can consider a court order that his parenting time not be spent at her house or with her. But I would save that for something serious (inappropriate drinking/drug use at the house...). His parenting time means ....his parenting time. Clearly you and he have very different morals (ok, I am even willing to say he has none!) And you probably have very different parenting styles. That is why you are going to be divorced. However, when he is the dad he gets to make some decisions. They cannot be dangerous or health threatening but if he thinks it is ok for son to have a soda, eat pizza, hang out at another house, he can make that decision. You have more time with son so you can influence his personal preferences more. You can teach him about healthy eating, dangers of sugar, etc. Help him make the right decisions when he is not with you. No one says this is easy. The problem with divorced parents trying to parent together is that there is usually a lot of baggage in that relationship. I have see a few families that were able to put aside all the problems (the girlfriends, the money issues) and simply focus on the kids. It is HARD but worth it!

I am sorry this thread got hijacked by the miliary debate. As most of us know, supporting our military, wanting them to come home safe, and wanting their families to be taken care of is not a liberal/conservative issue. Thanks to all of you who identified yourselves! I will be looking for you out there in the forums!

Finished it! I liked it. I mean he is no great writer but the books are fun and interesting. Makes me want to go to DC and check out those paintings and places! I liked the really good twist near the end (I won't spoil it for others). I read TDVC and Angels and Demons. I re-read AD when we were in Rome this summer - that was cool. Reading about the place and then going and seeing it! I feel if it gets people thinking and interested in history - it is a good thing! BTW - I was wodering how those on this forum who insist that the US founding fathers had a strong "Christian" foundation will react.

Scan them in and save them...you simply never know when you might need them and for what purpose.

Scarlett - I can see you are in a really difficult position and that you are trying really hard to figure out what is the best way to navigate this new situation for you and for your son. :grouphug: I am an ex-divorce attorney and I have seen families struggle with exactly this situation many, many times. I think there are a few things that can make it easier. First, you have already been given excellent advice about making the transition easier - do it after an activity, do it in public, etc. All this can help the child transition without feeling he is chosing sides or being sent "away" from one parent. Also, keep a calendar. Keep a journal. Something to just jot down issues about visitation. For example, a record of how many times EX cancels hsi time with DS. Or how many times DS is returned unfed, dirty, without homework done, etc. All this can be very helpful to the court in the future. Second, you have already been given excellent advice about putting the child in the middle, letting him have too much information, etc. I have a feeling you knew all of this already. I know he is 9 but let me tell you - at no age is a child prepared to be in the middle. I was 30 when my parents divorced. It was devastating. Please, keep him out of this at all costs. That means don't have EX on speaker phone when he is threatening to call the Sheriff. It also means don't let him see how upset you are by the situation. Stay calm, stay cool. Say, "I undertand this is hard for you but this is what we do and your dad loves you and I love you. Both of us want you to spend time with you Dad. He can teach you lots of things and you guys have fun doing >>>" This may all be BS but you can still say it and it will help DS to hear you supporting his relationship with his dad. Third, in high-conflict situations (which yours is at the moment) it makes things easier to have a RIGID schedule. That means no changing. For anything. It keeps expectations clear and avoids all the ugliness you just witnessed. As you mentioned, you thought the ball game was important and wanted to change. Then you didn't want to change because of Sunday services. There will always be something you want to do or don't want to miss and the same will be true for your Ex. However the reality is that while you both used to have 100% access to your son, you now have limited access (depending on your custody arrangment.) If you keep a rigid schedule you both be able to make clear plans. You can say "I am sorry by DS won't be able to make that ballgame." There will be no wishy-washy conflict generating "Let me check with my EX..." As the years go on hopefully tensions will ease and you can move towards a more relaxed, cooperative style of co-parenting. Again, I am so sorry you are going through this. Ex sounds like a dog and it sounds like you have made the right decision to divorce him. Now it is a matter of figuring out the road map for dealing with him for the rest of your life!

:iagree: I don't generally condone violence but if it was me I would be VERY tempted to make sure he died first.

BUMP

:grouphug: Wow. I had no idea that this level of ...I can't even think of the right word for it. I am sorry you had to endure this.