Yeah, no. There is nothing wrong with a wedding fund. We have started saving a certain amount for all three of them for a wedding. (We have one girl and two boys.) We haven't discussed it, but they probably know. We still helped our older two boys "launch" and will help the girl to do so in a few months, though we didn't give them big mounds of cash. It ended up co-signing for a furniture loan for oldest. We've had to help middle one with medical bills. And with the middle one it was a slower release of things like paying for his auto insurance and health insurance. To think that just because we have a wedding fund, it would make them get married quicker is laughable. I don't think that would enter their minds at all. As I said, they probably guess something like that is there, but we haven't talked about it. My guess is middle one will approach us when he asks his girlfriend to marry him...or maybe not. We might have to offer to pay. I half expected to help him pay for a ring like my FIL did for my husband, but apparently he jokingly texted his brother about what should he do with his tax refund....pay for a game station or save for a ring. LOL. I mean, I guess if you are pushing stuff in their face like when you get married, you have xyz.... Maybe. But our wedding funds will not influence them. Whenever they decide to buy a house, if they do so, we might help them with the downpayment.

There is no way to get to the actual office. It gives you to the scheduling department which says the exact same thing as what the website looks at. Our friend hates it. There have been many times when he said he did have a spot when the scheduling said he did not. I guess I could drive up to the clinic. Also, though, I struggle because really, I would give it a few more days. I haven't run fever. Our friend will give antibiotics at the least opportunity and I don't want to take them if I don't need them. It is probably a cold that will just run its course. It is the fact that I leave tomorrow and don't come back until the 27th that is giving me pause. If it gets worse, it will be harder in Indiana for me to get treatment, i would think. I don't feel awful.

I will say that I am dreading when our primary care retires. He turns 65 this year. The other friend in the practice is our age and will be retiring soon as well. All the others I knew started when my husband started and have all retired as well. There are just 2 others in the practice... Not enough. Starting over. Heck, not sure any of them are taking new patients either. I know our friends are not because they are already too busy as it is.

So I probably caught something when I went in to do my biopsy last Wednesday. Started showing symptoms on Friday afternoon. Sore throat, headache, a little bit of congestion. Didn't go anywhere. Monday morning I went to Walgreens to get a flue, Covid test. I only have congestion by then. Sore throat and headache are gone. Both are negative. I am just tired. Still congested and now coughing. Have been taking Niquil cold and flu nighttime and daytime off and on. So I am leaving tomorrow to start heading to Indiana. I am blowing out some yellow. So might be turning into a sinus infection. First thing this morning I look and the soonest I can get any kind of appointment either with my own primary care or anyone in the practice, in person or virtual is Monday. Heck. I could be septic or completely well by then. Our primary care doc is a friend of ours, in our Sunday School class, will probably play the doctor card and have my husband text him. (Husband is still in Africa.) But most people do not have that option. It is absolutely ridiculous that a "regular" person can no longer get a primary care appointment within a reasonable amount of time. No wonder the urgent care is so popular...

We only go on big trips for our anniversary on the years that end with 5; however, our 30th fell smack dab in the midst of Covid. We actually spent our anniversary moving our son back into the dorm at seminary, ate some poor boys on the floor of his dorm apartment while watching the Tom Hanks film Greyhound together. LOL. So it varies! However, for our 25th, we went to Niagara Falls and then over to Niagara on the Lake. We were gone for about a week. The kids were supposed to spend the week at the grandparents, but my FIL went to the hospital, so they just stayed home. They were 20, 18, and 13 at the time, so it worked out ok. Other things I have done, is met him for dinner after work and slipped him a hotel key as I left. 🙂

Well, it was my PSYCHIATRISTS' idea to do the genetic testing. And it was incredibly helpful. It showed the anti-depressant my gp put me on was the absolute worst one that he could have used for my genes. It also showed what has proved to be true a gene that causes problems with cholesterol and liver function.

I don't know how the OP meant it, but poor record to me meant none of her relationships last all that long. That's it. Not a moral judgment exactly. I suppose for me, a good record of relationships would mean that she had at least a few relationships that lasted for awhile with healthy interactions and then left respecting each other and speaking well of each other. I have do clue about the football player. I don't follow him. Hers are just more public because she writes songs about her former boyfriends. No, she isn't a flighty whore. But if she does keep picking guys that are jerks, that don't treat her well, then she has a track record of poor record of relationships. If I were her, I would examine why I pick men like this. And again, not picking on her because she is a woman. I would say the same to a man who picks crappy girlfriends. She is just so public that even someone who barely keeps up with celebrities (Me) knows about her relationships.

Praying you continue to get stronger.

Yep, I had that conversation with my oldest son last night as we watched. If he acts this way in public, when he knows cameras are on him, what happens when he gets that angry in private??? And his "speech" after the win when he was holding the trophy.... weird. I don't understand what she sees in him. I don't know a lot about Taylor Swift, don't really follow her. But the impression I get is that she is a pretty strong woman, (standing up for herself and her music with the record industry). I don't see this relationship lasting very long. I think she writes about her former boyfriends ( don't listen to her music, just what I have heard), so I bet she will have a lot of material. But yes, his behavior was so wrong on so many levels. My son thought, "Yeah, professional football is just different. You act differently there." No. No. No. That shows his true colors.

All. The. Time. So annoying. Ours WAS a local bank, and I loved it then. The teller knew me very well. She worked there for 30 years. She called us once when she got a shady check we didn't think we wrote. She retired. The bank was bought out. It was ok. Then it was bought by PNC. I can't stand it. They always want to go over our accounts. I hate it. It is only open from like 10-4 or something ridiculous now. But I guess hardly anyone ever goes in person anymore. We are probably one of the few who still deposit checks in the branch and cash checks inside as well.

So what screening did you have to do?

Yes, me, too. I was especially worried when the tech mentioned there was a new spot next to the one they were originally taking the biopsy from.

Doctor just called and confirmed it isn't cancer. But he doesn't understand the results either as I have had no pain or anything so the long term infection doesn't make sense. He is going to run it by some breast docs and other docs next week.

So I haven't heard from the doctor, but the pathology report was uploaded to my portal. Granulomatous mastitis with associated calcifications (see comment). COMMENT: The findings are nonspecific, though may be seen with idiopathic granulomatous mastitis, infectious etiologies (including cystic neutrophilic granulomatous mastitis), or a florid response to ruptured duct. Correlation with clinical impression is recommended. I mean mastitis is inflammation of the breast and I had that with at least one of my children when I was breastfeeding. But I am post-menopausal. My breast is sore now because of the biopsy, but it wasn't before. Any thoughts or experiences? I have googled but it seems pretty rare and seen in lactating women and/or minorities, which I don't fit.

Oh no! Praying you recover quickly and for all of your family.

Yep. Laptops didn't exist. They brought in the very first computer lab while I was in college. No one actually owned one in college. Heck, our first computer cost us like 5,000 when we were married...

Huge hugs.

Yes, I think you have nailed this exactly. I mean I do know they are major transitions, but yeah, I do feel like there should be an easier path. And somehow if not, I am doing it wrong. But you saying it is ok to be hard and it just is hard with no way to fix this feels really really hopeless and incredibly horrible. The person I talked to yesterday told me how well she thought I was doing and how many strategies I already use, but that this is just hard. So there is nothing I can do. If this is good, then why doesn't it feel that way? Or you just have to feel sucky sometimes and get used to it. I don't know. I am not making any sense, I know. But yes, you nailed exactly how I feel.

Yeah, well there are those of us whose injection site swells who get fevers of over 104 with the whooping cough vaccine. So yeah...

Yes. Absolutely. I know we have told no one about the biopsy and if it is cancer, will take some time to process, then tell our kids and other family, and then our larger world. I know he is a public figure, but he is also a man with a family who needs time to process alone without the world. His being a public figure doesn't negate private needs. It just doesn't.

I know and it only creates more anxiety for me. I mean, if as the person said in the other threat Covid has caused all of these cancers to be worse.... Well, we have all had Covid. We are all ticking time bombs and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. I mean, yeah, get checkups, mammograms, etc. But so many people I know did everything right, did all of the tests and still their cancer was found stage 4. it is getting more and more common and more and more unsettling... It makes it hard to breath sometimes.

Thanks Regenetude. I appreciate it!

And just a warning guys on my state of mind at the present time: I am getting increasingly nervous about the biopsy as it gets closer. I have done well at putting it out of my mind, but it is here. Trying VERY hard not to think about all of the possible outcomes. The legal issue with my husband's previous is coming to a head and is really stressful. Still so angry that their actions are causing all of this mess and it didn't have to happen if they had just used their heads. One of them called him in Africa wanting him to fix it after months of my husband warning them this would happen and when he did try to negotiate, he was told by the practice to stay out of it. But now he should fix it.... I am so beyond livid. We have a lawyer who is negotiating for us, because our interests don't lie with the previous partners. But what a mess. And it hit the fan while he is still overseas. My husband isn't doing great healthwise and I worry this additional stress will make it worse. Again, not my circus. Not my monkeys. So yeah, eating junk food because I can and at least I get something for me and binging hours of Chicago Fire. I know it isn't healthy, but yeah...

All right, so I am pretty much doing what I need to then? I am ok?

I wouldn't exactly. And your last paragraph is exactly what I am trying to figure out. How do I keep myself healthy so that it isn't so hard to re-establish the habit. I get so tired of being able to walk 3-4 miles easily and then suddenly walking 1.5 miles feels like my legs are made of lead. Yes, in a couple of weeks I am back up to that level. But I just want it to be consistently easy. To consistently drink the right amount of water to keep me healthy and from subsituting food instead of the water. (I am constantly hungry these days no matter how much I eat. I am never full.)