Oh, and are any of your children natural organizers?? My oldest was and my youngest can do a fabulous job when she is in the mood. I hired them to do things like clean out and organize the tupperware drawer or a coat closet. Again, you sit. They can ask you if the person wears the coat anymore.

So when kids were home and I was homeschooling, at 3:30/4 when everyone was through with school, we would start in a room. I would set the timer for 10 minutes. One kid would dust, one kid would vacuum and the other kid would help me put stuff away from the room where it went. Then we went to another room. We would do two or three rooms at a time. I didn't give prizes, though that is an idea. So I don't know what the ages of your children are, but I started this when the kids were 3, 8 and 10. You can help if you feel up to it, but otherwise you sit and direct them. They had fun racing around trying to do it before the timer went off. Now maybe your room is the state that you need 15 or 20 minutes per room. But four people working for 10 minutes can generally get a room looking presentable. Deep cleaning is a different thing. You need to hire someone to do that.

Just a funny aside. Our daughter wanted us to get a treadmill towards the end of high school. We refused. It has sort of been a joke. So if and when she wins her first Tony ( and that includes just being a small part of a show that wins, not necessarily that she wins a solo award), we will buy her one. 🤣

Yes, I am sure the breaks for the kids had a lot to do with it. To be honest, when we thought I might have breast cancer, I had already decided to "hide it" from my daughter until after she graduated. Her high school graduation was in the midst of Covid (2020) and I REALLY didn't want to ruin her college graduation with my news. Thankfully, the biopsy was negative, but yeah, I get wanting to wait until she was stronger and didn't look so sick before telling the kids.

I get that. But the OP said in both of these cases there was minimal debt.

Well, I will just share what we are doing for our musical theater child. We are letting her pursue her dream. She will graduate with a college degree in May. She is single with no responsibilities, so why not? This is the only time she has to try. I would hate for her to be 40 and to think, "If only my parents had let me..." If she doesn't "make it" or gets tired of the lifestyle, she can teach. The schools around here are desperate and I am seeing tons of music teacher job openings in Indiana if she wants to stay there. Pretty easy to teach and get alternative certification. Music teachers earn plenty here, but then I don't think 120,000 is a realistic salary for any college graduate. Ten years in, maybe. I think our oldest might be close to that. I really don't know what he makes anymore, but he started at 85,000 and has gotten raises pretty much every six months. He is a computer programmer for Home Depot. Every six months, they survey the salaries and bump it up to be competitive with what is being offered. But my daughter would be MISERABLE as a computer programmer. She has a job in a dinner theater this summer. One of her roommates is also performing in a different summer stock place. The other roommate has a ten month job playing Sandy in Grease on a cruise ship. She is making contacts. Now is her time to try. She will be home for a few weeks in May and August, but other than that has jobs lines up until January. I am so happy that she can pursue it. If it doesn't work, oh well. She can't say she didn't give it a shot. She can always find another job. She is intelligent, great with people, works well with children, she has many options. I am not worried.

Yep, that one poster earlier made me furious. SHE hasn't complained. We are the ones defending her. She has been a model of grace under pressure in my opinion.

Ok, this has been my question about all of this, why in the world is she trying to figure out all of this alone? If my husband were disabled like TravelingChris, "I" would be making all of the provisions so that I could travel. Like when my dad was living with us and I had to go sing in a wedding and my husband was his best man, I didn't just leave my dad who couldn't fend for himself and say, "Good luck!" When he was able to live alone, I made provisions for when we traveled. If he and her children know her condition, I just don't understand why she is trying to make all of this work and they are not. THEY are the ones who should be calling the care providers, short term home health, etc. I mean, I wouldn't leave if I couldn't make sure my spouse wasn't able to be taken care of...

Hugs

What does it say when you try to load your taxes? I only say that because I and a couple of other people I know had someone file taxes using our information. One person I know tried to claim a tax credit for her son and he had already been claimed. How that happened when he was their dependent I have no idea. For us, it said someone else had filed.

Absolutely!!!

I agree, absolutely!! That was sort of the point. It is a skill we need to teach.

Ah... tough spot. I see the delima. I do wonder, though, if the private more money more hours will be feasible with kids still in the house. Might depend on the hours and how much you love the work, age of kids, etc. Life is complicated.

Another question is, why are you considering leaving the job you are in now? What about it is making you want to leave? Can that be changed?

Yes, this is what I have seen as well...

Wish I had advice, but several areas where I can completely relate. My boundaries are pretty good actually, but yeah, I have no clue how to figure out what "I" want. Hugs. I guess does money or flexibility mean more? Will you have time to enjoy the money and/or do you need it for future goals like retirement or child's college?

How incredibly annoying. Yeah, I honestly wish we would go back to pen, paper and textbooks. I don't think technology is "all that."

LOL, so true!!!

So proud of your daughter! Definitely entitled to a mom brag!

Honestly, if we looked at both of our actual parenting, I bet they are pretty close.

Uggh.. I could have sworn I put in the post and I KNOW I did at one point. I don't know what the person meant. The phrase is triggering. But looking back, nope it isn't in there. I was not trying to say what YOU thought, only what I thought of the phrase. I should have put that in there. Which again, is why I don't say anything IRL. It would be misunderstood, hurt someone's feelings or whatever. I get so so tired of guarding my words.

@HomeAgain I know, like everyone else in my life, you are probably right about this issue. I just get so tired of never being allowed to have an opinion. Don't worry, I am not spreading this "dangerous knowledge" in real life. I would have listened to your passionate speech in real life and disappeared. Well, actually I would never have offered an opinion. I would have listened to you argue with someone else, wished I could say something and just slinked away.

I don't assume them and if we/they do, I just don't care. I have to keep my mouth shut everywhere as what I would say would be wrong or not helpful. Here I can just say my opinion, shut the computer and go away. I finally get to say what I want. Finally.

YES!!!! Exactly right!!!

AGAIN, I am NOT saying that you don't help people. That you throw up your hands and say, "figure it out." Of course you don't. But, figuring out new things is a very valuable skill everyone needs.