Yes, me, too. I was especially worried when the tech mentioned there was a new spot next to the one they were originally taking the biopsy from.

Doctor just called and confirmed it isn't cancer. But he doesn't understand the results either as I have had no pain or anything so the long term infection doesn't make sense. He is going to run it by some breast docs and other docs next week.

So I haven't heard from the doctor, but the pathology report was uploaded to my portal. Granulomatous mastitis with associated calcifications (see comment). COMMENT: The findings are nonspecific, though may be seen with idiopathic granulomatous mastitis, infectious etiologies (including cystic neutrophilic granulomatous mastitis), or a florid response to ruptured duct. Correlation with clinical impression is recommended. I mean mastitis is inflammation of the breast and I had that with at least one of my children when I was breastfeeding. But I am post-menopausal. My breast is sore now because of the biopsy, but it wasn't before. Any thoughts or experiences? I have googled but it seems pretty rare and seen in lactating women and/or minorities, which I don't fit.

Oh no! Praying you recover quickly and for all of your family.

Yep. Laptops didn't exist. They brought in the very first computer lab while I was in college. No one actually owned one in college. Heck, our first computer cost us like 5,000 when we were married...

Huge hugs.

Yes, I think you have nailed this exactly. I mean I do know they are major transitions, but yeah, I do feel like there should be an easier path. And somehow if not, I am doing it wrong. But you saying it is ok to be hard and it just is hard with no way to fix this feels really really hopeless and incredibly horrible. The person I talked to yesterday told me how well she thought I was doing and how many strategies I already use, but that this is just hard. So there is nothing I can do. If this is good, then why doesn't it feel that way? Or you just have to feel sucky sometimes and get used to it. I don't know. I am not making any sense, I know. But yes, you nailed exactly how I feel.

Yeah, well there are those of us whose injection site swells who get fevers of over 104 with the whooping cough vaccine. So yeah...

Yes. Absolutely. I know we have told no one about the biopsy and if it is cancer, will take some time to process, then tell our kids and other family, and then our larger world. I know he is a public figure, but he is also a man with a family who needs time to process alone without the world. His being a public figure doesn't negate private needs. It just doesn't.

I know and it only creates more anxiety for me. I mean, if as the person said in the other threat Covid has caused all of these cancers to be worse.... Well, we have all had Covid. We are all ticking time bombs and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. I mean, yeah, get checkups, mammograms, etc. But so many people I know did everything right, did all of the tests and still their cancer was found stage 4. it is getting more and more common and more and more unsettling... It makes it hard to breath sometimes.

Thanks Regenetude. I appreciate it!

And just a warning guys on my state of mind at the present time: I am getting increasingly nervous about the biopsy as it gets closer. I have done well at putting it out of my mind, but it is here. Trying VERY hard not to think about all of the possible outcomes. The legal issue with my husband's previous is coming to a head and is really stressful. Still so angry that their actions are causing all of this mess and it didn't have to happen if they had just used their heads. One of them called him in Africa wanting him to fix it after months of my husband warning them this would happen and when he did try to negotiate, he was told by the practice to stay out of it. But now he should fix it.... I am so beyond livid. We have a lawyer who is negotiating for us, because our interests don't lie with the previous partners. But what a mess. And it hit the fan while he is still overseas. My husband isn't doing great healthwise and I worry this additional stress will make it worse. Again, not my circus. Not my monkeys. So yeah, eating junk food because I can and at least I get something for me and binging hours of Chicago Fire. I know it isn't healthy, but yeah...

All right, so I am pretty much doing what I need to then? I am ok?

I wouldn't exactly. And your last paragraph is exactly what I am trying to figure out. How do I keep myself healthy so that it isn't so hard to re-establish the habit. I get so tired of being able to walk 3-4 miles easily and then suddenly walking 1.5 miles feels like my legs are made of lead. Yes, in a couple of weeks I am back up to that level. But I just want it to be consistently easy. To consistently drink the right amount of water to keep me healthy and from subsituting food instead of the water. (I am constantly hungry these days no matter how much I eat. I am never full.)

Yes, I know these. I didn't list all the ones. So water: I keep it by me at all times. Appealing: Drinking is just something you do because you have to. It isn't something to enjoy. I may experiment with teas, I have a ton there, but they are just drinks. I am not sure how to make it rewarding. I have attached it to the coffee drinking. Making myself try to get down 8 ounces before I have my coffee. Walking 1. Not sure how to make it convienient other than when alone I don't make myself go somewhere, I just walk on the rural road Ithat is by my house. 2. I enjoy talking to people when I do it. So walking with my husband and with my friends has definitely helped me do it. Podcasts are fine. But again, when I am alone it is hard to get myself to do it. 3. What to attach the walking to I am not sure...

Yes, I know, but in this rural area there are not that many groups. When I was home more and bored, I looked on the places you guys told me to look then and no groups like all of you talked about existed. If I lived where my MIL and SIL's lived, I would EASILY be able to find TONS of groups to join and things to do. There were tons in that area when I looked. Just none in mine.

Yes, and I am trying to lean into this. I am trying to figure out what the right routines and goals are for this season, but it feels hard. I feel untethered and a bit lost.

Interesting. How does it know if you do something or not? Is it linked to your watch or fitbit or something? Because I would lie.

Interesting. Nope. Not at all. I will try it, though it will feel strange trying to stop and tell myself. This is fun. You are enjoying this. I feel good when I check things off of a list.

The closest YMCA is an hour and fifteen minutes away, so not feasible. I take both a D supplement and a Calcium with D supplement, so it is probably fine. I go for my yearly checkup next month.

If it is, I really wonder if there has been an uptick in this. I know 3 people with it: One died within a few months and two were recently diagnosed and are not doing well. It just feels so prevalent.

Ok, someone else mentioned a straw. And yes, I have a container with a straw that holds 24 ounces of water. I would try to drink 3 of them throughout the day when I was doing well. But that is what I mean. I was in the habit of using it. I didn't think about it. But then we travel. I am in Africa or whatever. And I don't think about using it.... To make habits stick, they say you need to make them small and as easy as possible until they become automatic. But I change so much nothing is automatic. Sigh... I have an Apple Watch : If I walk, I easily hit my 11,000 steps. Today I already have 8,000. But every other day since I got back from Kenya I have only done 2,000-3,000. In Africa I got 11,000 to 15,000 steps a day with the equivalent of climbing 30-45 flights of stairs. It is similar in Honduras. On the RV trips, we hike nearly every day and I normally have 12,000 to 18,000 steps. But home alone, 2,000.

Yes, that happens with every single doctor I have and my gynecologist. But this is a separate entity. I have gotten no calls, no texts, no emails. No paperwork. I find it very, very strange. It is with the breast center at the hospital. I am supposed to go into the emergency room entrance and register. So strange. My husband thinks it is strange as well.

It isn't water. It is just drinking period. The only thing I tend to drink is coffee and water. I just don't drink much. Yeah, I HATE artificial sweetner. Can't stand the taste. Never drink diet drinks. They are gross. We don't stock or buy soft drinks. So it isn't that I am trying to replace something with water. It is just trying to get hydration. I tend to eat less if I drink more water, which is another bonus. 🙂

OK, a couple of thoughts: No one is telling me that I can't feel things or want things or anything like that. But I am either alone or with my spouse for the most part these days. As I mentioned before, he is trying SUPER hard to make sure I get to do what I want to do. I will try the shower thing. But I do a ton of stuff with my body with several groups I am with, especially the Table of the Beloved with Summer Joy Gross. Here is a video of an example: Ok, I have tried the video you shared several times before and it doesn't make me shake. I guess maybe I am doing it wrong?