Though it was for completely different reasons than what you are dealing with right now, my older kids went to public school after being homeschooled for most of their elementary/middleschool years. To me, it really was just a six of one, half dozen of another situation when it came to homeschooling problems vs. public school problems. It wasn't any easier or harder, it was just different. I went to a Spalding school when I was a kid and even as late as 4th grade I can remember being graded and watched on how I formed my letters and numbers. But in the middle school grades, they relaxed a lot on the Spalding instruction (K-8 elementary school but by 7th grade we did do Spalding in class anymore) I remember anytime I was bored in class or just killing time, I would experiment with different handwriting styles and try to mimic other's handwriting that I admired. I still can write using perfect strokes as described in WRTR but my regular daily handwriting is very legible but not perfectly formed every time. With my own kids, I teach them the proper way to form letters and numbers in K and first grade and insist on them doing it correctly. That's part of why the younger grades are so teacher intensive, you are instilling good habits and that takes time and consistent practice. I teach cursive in third grade if I didn't teach the child cursive first. But I don't force them to use cursive if they don't want to. If they can write in cursive and can read cursive, that's enough for me. I start letting them decide around 3rd/4th grade as long as they can write neatly and legibly, how they want to perfect their handwriting. Now if their handwriting gets illegible, I will remind them and make them practice the "right way" but if I can't tell by looking how they formed the letter or it is acceptably neat even if they didn't form the letter "the right way" I let it go after 3rd grade. It's just not a hill to die on for me as long as their writing is legible and I'm not willing to nag them over it. That's just my experience, FWIW. All my kids have gone through a phase or 3 of feigning forgetfulness to get out of doing work. First I assess why they are trying to get out of the work. Are they overtired? Over excited? Stressed? Anxious? Basically, is there some outside reason they are not wanting to do their work? If the answer to any of those is yes, then we might go back and do a review lesson and not new work or pull out a game to play for that subject instead of a lesson or if it is something that is really affecting them adversely, we might call it a mental healthy day and not do any more school at all. If I can rule out all of those outside factors as not being the reason, I take a look at the lesson itself and reassess whether or not they are really ready for the material. Even gifted kids hit road blocks and sometimes we just need to wait and practice skills they already have until their brains are ready to move on and there is nothing wrong with that but I found in my kids that feigning forgetfulness was sometimes a sign that the material was moving too fast and we needed to slow down a bit and let their brain catch up. Conversely, sometimes the opposite was true, they were bored to tears and didn't know how to tell me that they understood the concept and just wanted to move on. In that case, I assign a few problems and tell them if they can execute it perfectly without my help then we can skip ahead in the lessons. Or we trade roles and I have them teach me the lesson. If they can explain it to me (and I purposely make mistakes for them to correct me on) then they obviously know it and we can move on. If none of the above seems to be the problem, we have a talk about our roles and how we have to work together. I don't want to make them do things they don't want to do but I have a responsibility to teach them the things they need to know and they have the responsibility to learn them. Being difficult with each other just makes people irritable and an unpleasant experience for everyone. We decide together what needs to be done and what are appropriate consequences for being willfully difficult and not doing your work. This is not to say all my kids were obedient little angels that realized they were in the wrong and apologized and promised to work harder, far from it. But things did tend to go more smoothly when they felt listened to and their wants and needs were taken into account. Homeschooling is hard. Period. Spending all day with your children at home, where they are most comfortable and feel safe acting out their feelings is physically and emotionally draining. But at the end of the day, even on bad days, I still feel like I am giving them the best possible chance to be successful adults by homeschooling them, so I put my big girl panties on each morning and keep on trudging through each day.

I crochet my own out of 100% cotton as well. I mostly use them as pot holders and under a hot pan to another burner that isn't on, on my glass stove top. It freaks me out to put a hot pan on an area of the glass that isn't hot. I've had more than one pyrex dish not react well to sudden temperature changes and I love my glass cooktop so I may be a wee bit over protective of it, lol. My favorite crocheted trivets are my chickens from this pattern.

My youngest two son's both attended free pre-k through the public schools. My second to youngest son had an amazing pre-k teacher who I am still in touch with to this day. Youngest ds was born when second to youngest ds was in pre-k and ds brought the new baby in for "show and tell" when he was a few months old lol. Youngest ds has Childhood Apraxia of Speech so he qualified for an IEP and placement in the pre-k program as a handicapped student at age 3 instead of 4. Second to youngest ds didn't have any issues that required an IEP so he had to get a normal lottery slot for 4 year olds. Anyways, ods's amazing preschool teacher was still there and so excited to get to teach the little brother that ods had brought in for show and tell 3 years earlier but at the last minute she was offered a better job teaching 2nd grade and she took it, so youngest ds got a different pre-k teacher. This woman was an absolute nightmare. Among other things, she decided that the seat work that 3 - 4 year olds should do, from the first day of school until the last day, was practice writing their name every. single. day. on a photocopied half sheet of paper with their name in comic sans font and the rest of the page was blank. No lines. No tracers. No guidance from the aide or the teacher. No nothing. Her theory was "they will learn to write the letters in the way that is most comfortable to them". *facepalm* I didn't find this out until half way through the year and I was informed that even though he was one of the younger students in the class, he needed to work on writing his name. He was three, almost 4, and barely had the verbal skills of an 18 month old. His handwriting was the least of my worries back then. He is six now and I still have to correct his letter formation habits religiously or he will do things like make the two humps on the letter m and then go add a little tail at the top of the first hump. Something he was praised for by the pre-k teacher for his "attention to detail". *double facepalm". The fact that she couldn't see that her idea of seatwork was totally inappropriate for the mix of students she had should have been my first clue that we needed to just bring him straight home. When I found out that this was the norm even in kindergarten here, to not teach handwriting and just let the child develop their own strategies was definitely one of the deciding factors in the end. Now I see why my other ds's amazing teacher left. She used HWT in her pre-k class and didn't stress at all over whether or not they could write their names by the end of their pre-k year. If the nightmare pre-k teacher had tried to send home homework for ds, I probably would have completely lost it on her sooner.

Lol, I hear people around where I live complain constantly about how "slow" shipping is and they would rather have the instant gratification of buying something in the store even if it isn't exactly what they wanted to buy. When you've lived overseas for any amount of time, wanted something you simply cannot buy in the country you are in and 2 - 3 weeks minimum is your new normal for shipping times, 1 - 3 days for shipping seems like such a small price to pay for getting the exact item you want, lol. I remember coming back from overseas and just being amazed at how quick things are shipped "nowadays" and that was in 2007! When we order from Amazon in the morning, if it ships from the DFW warehouse, it typically arrives the next afternoon. Any other Amazon warehouse and it take 2 - 4 days tops. We've had a few problems here and there but Amazon has always righted it in the end for us. We have been happy Prime members for close to 10 years now. I do have to say though that Prime Day was a bit disappointing this year which was just as well for us since unexpected expenses left us with no wiggle room for impulse purchases on Prime Day. I can also remember ordering books from Amazon when it was just a weirdly named online bookstore lol. There are lots of ways to get a discounted rate for Prime. Just google "Amazon Prime discount rate".

Has she been to Platform 9 3/4 in King's Cross Station? It isn't really a whole afternoon kind of thing to go see it and take a picture of her pushing the trolley through the wall but it could be a fun thing to stop and do if you pass through the area while you are in London if you have a Harry Potter fan. I have a picture of me and the older kids from when we went to England years ago. Another neat thing we saw was Paddington Station and all the Paddington Bear related vendors and souvenirs. My kids were younger when we went so it was more exciting for them but if she has any nostalgia for Paddington Bear that could be a quick last stop on the train on the way back to Heathrow. We also wandered into The Clink Prison museum by chance one of the days we were wandering around London. Definitely a bit of macabre for your daughter without being too scary. My kids were all under the age of 7 when we went and they thought the museum was a hoot lol. There are some things you can try on and mess around with in one of the rooms and my kids decided to "try on" an all metal chastity belt lol. They thought it was a hat. *facepalm*

I could see teaching him about calling someone ugly or fat. Wouldn't bother me. But they are just adjectives just like favorite, I suppose. Hmm... more social stuff to mull over and think about. He has said, "I don't like you Grandma" or "I don't like you Mom" or "I don't like you Dad". All my kids have said that or something like it at one point or another. We all have responded to him, and my older kids the same way, "That's ok, you are allowed to not like me but I still love you." Heck I've even told my husband and my kids at different points that I don't like them, though I tend to like to be more direct about it and say I don't like how you are acting right now or I don't like the choices you have made right now. But I can't say that I haven't just said I don't like you in the heat of the moment. I can still love someone with all my heart even when I don't like them so it doesn't seem out of line to me to let someone know when you don't like them. Now, my parents threw a royal hissy fit in grand, adult-size toddler fashion when I said that to them as a child and forced me to take it back and say I loved them. I won't say that doesn't color my perception.

But he is a child, that's why it upset me that he was being told he couldn't express who his favorite person was. I guess maybe because when I say things, I don't have a hidden message or agenda that's why I don't get it? If I say something out loud, it is exactly what I meant, no more, no less. I've hurt people's feelings before just expressing an opinion and it's very often because there is some underlying meaning that they took from it but wasn't even on my radar. I suck at deducing other people's hidden meaning which I guess is why this bothered me in the first place. I have a really hard time extrapolating the bolded from saying so-and-so is my favorite person. Especially when the statement came from a child. But I know I have issues with social cues so I guess I learned something new today.

I can be taught the rules but I have a habit of either being too black or white with it or I can apply the rules in one situation but not another or I can apply it but that doesn't mean I understand it lol.

He came in from playing about 30 minutes ago and asked if he could go with Grandma to her nail appointment. So he's probably talking the salon people's ears off by now and will probably be having a Happy Meal for dinner with Grandma. :-)

I have driven dh nuts before trying to understand social things that just don't make sense to me lol. Social things are absolutely mind boggling to me but I can explain calculus or computer coding or some complex science-y thing I read about to you all day long. ;-) But people and how they work are a complete mystery lol. I was also the kid that had to be forced to go play with kids my age. I would rather read a book. Or play with younger kids who aren't as complicated. Or do just about anything else. lol Thanks for being patient with me. :-)

Interesting point. Hmm... maybe. I can understand how playing favorites with kids or grandkids can hurt. But when it's just a friend situation, I have more trouble understanding why it would hurt someone's feelings. We all have people and friends we would prefer to spend time with over others but you don't get to pick your family so feeling hurt because it feels like one is more loved or less loved by a family member isn't as hard for me to understand. But I guess I can kinda see what Grandma might have been trying to do there. She is the queen of explaining things badly. lol

Guilty as charged. :-S There is a ton bothering me. More than Grandma's comment. More than the medical stuff. More than I feel comfortable discussing with most people. A lot on my plate right now is an understatement. Thanks for reminding me to not take it all out on Grandma. :-)

All my social shortcomings because of my past and mental health diagnoses and I can perfectly understand why the guy with the pool is his favorite lol! It's hard for me to understand why other people would not. But social cues and what not are just plain hard for me, period. It's probably a big part of why I'm so introverted lol. And see, this I struggle to understand, lol. I know the rule is that it is not polite but why would Sally's feelings be hurt? That doesn't make sense to me. So Bob is his favorite friend, that doesn't mean Sally isn't his friend too. I know that social rules say that it's not polite to say things like that but since it wouldn't hurt my feelings I don't understand why it would hurt Sally's feelings if he wasn't saying that he won't play with her because Bob is his favorite. And it is things like this that make people ask me if I'm on the spectrum. And the answer is yes, it is very likely that I have Asperger's but I was never diagnosed as a child. Ds has quite a few Aspie-like quirks as well. Which might be why he seemed baffled by Grandma's statement too when he told us about it. Thanks for taking the time to reply. Even if I struggle to understand some things, I do know that you are right and it is an accepted social norm and part of my hang up might just be that I was chided as a child for saying similar things, much more harshly than Grandma did, and I want to protect him from what I experienced as a child.

You're right. Putting it that way does help me see that this is more my hang up because my parents were in the habit of guilt trips and manipulating us kids. I think this might have just hit a little to close to my issues that I don't ever want my kids to understand or experience. She does have some very old fashioned ideas of how to raise kids but I don't think she would ever intentionally do something to hurt ds in any way. Hence the reason we let him spend so much time with her in the first place versus other relatives. That's possible. I guess I forget sometimes that normal mentally well people project sometimes too, not just the narcissists I've had to deal with in my life. I've definitely calmed down a lot since Monday but it was one of those things that I can't do anything about the other things going on in my life right now but this is something I can definitely do something about... but I do know that's not always the right answer. And I do know that my past often wildly skews my perspectives. Thanks for being my "therapists" until insurance can get their act together and start paying for my therapy again. :-)

*Hugs* You are more invested in your children's education than most parents. Good enough is good enough. ;-) You will make mistakes, everyone does but he will not fail at life because his math curriculum could have been better for him. I say this as someone who has grown children and has spent plenty of sleepless nights wondering if I was really doing the best I could do by my kids. I made mistakes. They struggled in places. Since we can't go back and do things differently to find out if they wouldn't have struggled if I did something different, I just have to accept that it is what it is. None of them have failed, in fact they have come out stronger for it and thrived as young adults. I still have one at home young enough to be homeschooled, I do still worry sometimes but I will admit that it is easier going through this time knowing that none of my older kids have failed due to my mistakes. I wish I could let you walk in my shoes for a while so that you can know that it will be okay no matter what math curriculum you choose. ;-)

So I don't usually like to post this kind of stuff myself (don't care that others do, I'm just usually more private and reserved) but we still aren't able to get me back into therapy and this is really bothering me. So rather than explode on people who might not deserve it, I'll see what the hive thinks. So we live right next door to dh's grandma. She is the same age as my parents, baby boomers just to give some perspective on where she is coming from and how old she is. Our son loves to go play at Grandma's house (his great grandma) and she loves having him there so it works out great 99% of time. Ds and Grandma both have outgoing personalities and dh and I are both introverts so ds gets to go all over town talking to everyone with Grandma and just be the extrovert he is and she gets to show off her great grandson. Everyone is happy. Monday night, Grandma and DS went to a neighbor's BBQ and pool party. Dh and I were invited too but said if Grandma wanted to take ds that was fine, have fun! We have some medical stuff coming up this week and we just don't feel up to being social right now more so than usual. These neighbors live across the ravine from us and just moved here. They are really nice and ds absolutely loves spending time with them. They have a huge in-ground pool which isn't a common thing in this area, what six year old wouldn't love going over to their house? Ds has declared "Neighbor" is his favorite person. Dh and I both think it's cute. Apparently, ds told Grandma Monday night that he was excited because they were going to Neighbor's house because neighbor is his favorite person. She then told him not to say things like that because it might hurt people's feelings. So ds asked her who's feelings he would hurt and she told him he would hurt his dad's feelings so he shouldn't say that Neighbor is his favorite person. We learned of this when ds came home and the first question he asked was "Dad, does it hurt your feelings that Neighbor is my favorite person?" Um, first of all, why would it hurt anyone's feelings for ds to say who his favorite person is? I honestly do not understand that at all. Second, we are his parents. We have a responsibility to raise him in a way that will help him be the best person he can be as an adult. That means that sometimes we have to discipline him, sometimes we have to make him do things he'd rather not do, like take a bath when he's rather watch TV and eat vegetables when he'd rather have ice cream and sometimes we have to be "mean" and make him go to bed and get plenty of rest. It is quite easy to see why we aren't always his favorite people lol! I would never expect to always be his favorite person and it certainly does not hurt my feelings that the Neighbor who lets him go swimming and eat ice cream every time he comes over is his favorite person. It is no different to me than when elementary school kids explore the concept of "best friends". Dh feels the exact same way! I was ready to march over there Monday night and yell tell Grandma that ds's favorite person is his choice. Period. We don't ever want him to think that his likes and dislikes should ever be dictated by the feelings of others. That just feels so manipulative and wrong to me, to tell a child that they shouldn't say that someone is their favorite person because it might hurt someone else's feelings. It just makes me feel sick inside but I grew up with very manipulative parents that I had to cut off as an adult because of how toxic they are (part of the reason I'm suppose to be in therapy). Dh did have a conversation with Grandma yesterday and she did relay to him (he didn't ask her about the incident) that she told ds that calling the Neighbor his favorite person wasn't nice. Dh just redirected the conversation because he wants to talk to her about it but after this medical stuff is over with this week and we aren't so amped up emotionally. Ds will be spending Thursday and part of Friday with Grandma while we are out of town getting this medical stuff taken care of. Should we just reassure ds that his favorite person is who ever he wants to be his favorite person or do we tell Grandma before we leave that she overstepped in our opinion? Or do we wait until this medical stuff is done because it obviously didn't bother ds a bit to ask us about it point blank? Am I out of line that it bothers me so much that she told him to not say Neighbor is his favorite person because it would hurt his Dad's feelings? If she had told him to stop saying Neighbor was his favorite person because he had already said it 850 times in the last hour, I would completely get it. Ds does have a tendency to get stuck in broken record mode sometimes. But that's not what she said. It's the idea that he should worry about what other's think of his likes and dislikes that just rubs me completely wrong. Not a JAWM but please be somewhat gentle. We are going through a lot right now outside of this incident that I really don't want to get into on a public forum. Thanks.

How much is "some"? A handful? A cup or so? Half a bag? My idea of "some" and dh's idea of "some" are often starkly different. Everyone's idea of "some" is likely different. Here is what I imagine from your description: some almonds would be a handful (15 - 20 maybe, I'm imagining smaller store bought almonds) some carrots and hummus would be maybe a cup or so of baby carrots and a couple of tablespoons of hummus (if I was feeling hungry it might be more like a 1/4 cup (4tbsp)) blueberries would be a cup or so of store bought or maybe a handful of plump fresh picked a couple of chips ahoy cookies (you've got will power or lots of kids to help you if you only had the 2 - 3 cookies I'm imagining lol Cookies are my nemesis) chicken and rice casserole (I'm imagining one serving which would be a cup or so of the rice mixture and a single breast or if the meat is cut up, maybe a heaping cup or so of casserole) steamed broccoli (1/2 a cup or so) fresh cherries (a handful, 6 - 10 maybe) a scoop of ice cream (1/2 cup to 1 cup depending on how big your scoop is) Pepsi (a 12 oz can?) So I see maybe one serving of protein at lunch, maybe. Between the hummus and the almonds you might have had one serving of protein. Between the carrots and blueberries you might have had one fruit and veggie serving. Not much of a lunch. I wouldn't expect anyone to be full on just that. Even with the cookies. So dinner looks pretty good. You've got some protein, fats, carbs, fruits and veggies. Not bad so long as you didn't go overboard on the carbs or try to skimp on the servings trying to "be good" about your diet. Did you eat the ice cream out of habit or because you were hungry? Dh and I both have issues with eating out of habit rather than hunger. It happens sometimes you just have to keep trying to remind yourself that you don't need to eat out of habit. Habits don't need to eat. :-) We gave up soda a couple of years ago but I don't think a single soda now and then is a bad thing. Even though dh and I gave up soda, we still let the kids have some from time to time. Usually when we eat out when we travel so it's not often. The combination of cookies, ice cream and soda in a single day though might not have been the best choice and the spike in blood sugars from them could definitely contribute to feeling hungry all the time. The amount of food I see in your description is roughly two snacks, a single meal and a dessert. No matter what your weight is, that's not enough food to sustain you. And it is definitely not enough post surgery to help your body heal! Even those of us trying to lose weight need to eat, even when you are sedentary. My dh is mostly sedentary due to a medical condition right now and he is trying to unlearn bad habits as well that haven't help. Fasting to lose weight is rarely the answer. It is better to focus on good food choices that are filling and healthy rather than try to limit your food intake to the point that you are hungry all the time and are even more tempted by those edible guilty pleasures. You might want to look into talking with a dietitian to get a better idea of what it is healthy and normal to eat in a day at your weight and health condition. I think you might be surprised at what a dietitian would suggest for you to eat in day while losing weight.

Like Pawz4me said you just want to rough the surface a little and knock down any dust and particles that might have settled on the surface as it dried, not sand the paint off. And yes between the layers of poly too especially. I would use at least 240 grit sandpaper between layers, very fine sand paper. The higher the number, the finer the sandpaper. You just want to scratch the surface a bit, not make gouges. Don't sand after the last coat of poly though. There are lots of videos on Youtube about how to sand and paint furniture if you want to watch someone else do it before you give it go. :-)

Depends on the paint you use, the look you are going for, how much abuse you expect a piece of furniture to take... Your friend is not wrong. Primer and two coats can be plenty if you use good quality paint and arent too rough on a piece. For a piece of college student furniture, I would do primer, two coats of color and a coat or two of water based poly. Oil based poly will yellow over time and can really clash with your paint color. Plus water based poly is easier to work with and clean up. The poly will act as a top coat and help it take the extra abuse a college student will likely give it. Good luck and sand paper is your friend! Sand before the primer and between every coat of primer paint or poly for the smoothest finish.

My son just reminded me of taco rice! Believe it or not, I was first introduced to this in Japan. It's very popular "international food" in some circles in Japan lol. The way they make it in Japan, just make taco salad with all the trimmings (sans chips or tortillas) on a bed of plain rice. Curry, made with Golden Curry blocks and the poached chicken breasts someone else mentioned, could be a cheap easy lunch over rice. I'm not sure if Golden Curry is peanut free and grain free though and I don't have any at the moment to easily check. If it isn't, you could make passable curry sauce by buying or making brown gravy that suits your dietary restrictions and adding curry spice blend to it to taste. Not quite the same, but it is close and does fine in a pinch.

Like Happi Duck mentioned, baked potato bar with whatever toppings you want are a popular lunch here. Make any kind of soup or stew that your family likes and freeze it in individual portions. Have a frozen supply of several different soups that everyone can pick their favorite for lunch. Serve with fruit or maybe rice cakes? Beans and rice has always been one of my favorite lunches. Before I had to cut out tomatoes due to allergies, I made quick and dirty beans and rice. I would just mix a can of black beans, a cup of jarred salsa and either a tsp of taco seasoning or just cumin if I didn't have taco seasoning. Then heat it on the stove. If we had fresh garlic and cilantro on hand I would add that too, to taste. Once it was hot and bubbly, I would serve it over cooked rice (fresh or reheated depending on what I had on hand) with some grated cheese and a dallop of sour cream. Easy, cheap, quick and filling. My husband and my son love chili cheese tater tot casserole. It goes together fast, is great reheated, and can be frozen in batches so all you need to do is pop it in the oven about an hour before lunch time. This recipe is pretty close to how I make it but without the hot dogs (but it could be good with the hot dogs too). There are lots of variations on tater tot casserole so you could make any type that suits your family. Are corn tortillas okay or is it a grain in your case? If you can use corn tortillas you can make tons of mexican food inspired dishes for lunch. Again, if corn is an option, corndogs might be something you could do from time to time just for something fun and different. Also corn bread, made from scratch, with non-wheat flour, ahead of time and frozen, could be something used as a side to chili or soup depending on whether or not you can do corn. Sheppard's Pie, made ahead and frozen in portions, is another favorite lunch here. Tater tot nachos. Make nachos but substitute tater tots for the chips. Could be done similar to the baked potato bar where everyone makes their plate how they want.

Not even sure what you are trying to say here. Again, not really sure what you're saying or where you are going with this but since I think you might be saying that you agree with me, that children do not have to be abused to be bullies and abuse others, I will just leave it at that. If that's not what you're saying then I think we will just have to agree to disagree. Either way, cheers!

I still prefer to hang out with little kids lol. They are so much more fun and less emotionally draining for me lol.

I know very well about childhood emotional neglect, first hand, thank you. And I also know first hand about cps and courts not recognizing the abuse that it is and the lifelong problems it causes. You aren't the only one here who had a crappy childhood. My point was that a spoiled child with doting, over indulging parents could be not abused in any way (physically, verbally, emotionally, financially and any other way you could think of) and still be a bully and abuse others. They aren't copying what has been done to them, they just honestly don't have empathy for others because they have never have to think about anyone but themselves.

Ah I see. Yeah, that's not what I got out of your OP and I even ran it by DH before I wrote my post to make sure I wasn't misinterpreting something and he said he thought the same thing lol. It sounds like we agree though, at least fundamentally. ;-)