I am very strange mix of fly by the seat of my pants and planning. So I might plan a month's worth of meals and it ends up lasting two months, because, well...life. I am ok with that because I have a deep freezer and nothing is going to waste if I don't follow "the plan" I have everything on hand to make lots of meals. If we decide to eat out or scramble eggs, everything stays in the freezer. If I have already thawed meat, I either cook it the next night or cook it into something that freezes well. Like I can just brown the ground beef and refreeze it for chili or spaghetti, or throw the chicken in the crock pot to shred and freeze. Or I just make burgers for lunch the next day or something like that. I am very flexible with it and I don't let it rule my life. I just decide the night before what tomorrow will look like and what I feel like cooking. I like knowing that everything is on hand for that meal if I just thaw the meat. I did not have as much success with once a month cooking, although having chopped frozen veggies for soups and stir-fry or the occasional pre cooked meat is helpful. Sometimes I double a recipe and freeze spaghetti sauce or something but I don't cook a month's worth of meals. I also keep a couple of oh no, I forgot to thaw something options. Like frozen pizza, jarred pasta marinara and a box of pasta, or a bag of shrimp that I can do a quick thaw under running water.

I have done lots of one month meal plans over the years, and a few two months. I usually plan 20 meals for four weeks, with a few repeaters. The other 8 days are a mix of leftovers, light nights (grilled cheeses, eggs, you're on your own nights), or eating out. Then you can just take the same menu and repeat for month two and three, changing up the days. You can make your shopping lists weekly or monthly. The hardest part is coming up with the meals your family will all eat (of course). Make a list of all the meals you cook for your family and count them. Only 5? That's a lot of repeating, but maybe your family is ok with that. If you can come up with at least 10, you are only repeating twice a month if you mix in the light, leftover, on your own days. Sometimes it is helpful to think of each day as a type, like meatless Monday, taco Tuesday, crockpot Wednesday, pasta Thursday, breakfast for dinner on Friday, etc... Or you can do it by the main protein ingredient, like rice and beans on Monday, ground beef dish Tuesday, chicken dish Wednesday, Fish dish Thursday, pork dish Friday, etc..rotating your favorite proteins. Then just have sides, sauces ,etc you can flex. Planning can be fun and stress relieving, even if you ditch or alter some plans later. (Just like homeschool planning lol..) It took me a while to make a one month meal plan and grocery list, but once I had it made I could use it over and over and then there is almost no stress or time spent deciding the worst question in the history of the world...."What's for dinner?" If you really get into it, I suggest leaving one day a month for trying out a new recipe. If it is a hit, you fold it into the plan. That helps keep it from getting too monotonous...

Will you post and tell how it went for your family? It might be helpful if you could give an average of how much screen time you allowed before and if that changed after the break. Or if the break helped you or your children find time to develop other interests you then pursued after the break. I am not really looking for a long debate on the pros and cons of screens here. If your family lives happily playing in the woods all day and your kids have never heard of Minecraft I think you are awesome but your feedback will probably not be as helpful. Likewise if your kids are allowed to completely self regulate their screen time with no limits I also think you are awesome but your feedback will probably not be as helpful either. This is said sincerely without sarcasm. I just already know that those two absolutes (no screens, unlimited screens) will not work for our family. Parents dealing with littles are often dealing with this issue a bit differently, so I am really looking for average homeschool parents dealing with screen time and especially gaming with their teens/tweens. So for those parents, have you tried a fast or a break to encourage your teen/tween to broaden their interests? Was it successful? How about the adults in the family?

NM

AAS was a bust here with my highly kinesthetic learners. Spelling felt long and tedious and there were just too many rules to memorize. Two years in and we had very little retention. Sequential spelling has been a great fit, although both my kids would have balked at writing 25 words a day at age 7. Both started around age 9 or 3rd-4th grade with SS. I tried SS in first grade with my oldest and it resulted in lots of tears! I am glad I circled back to it though, as it takes 5 minutes a day each and has worked with two very different learners. We usually do it on a dry erase board, although my oldest eventually shifted to paper. Spelling became much less frustrating. I do point out a few spelling rules to them as we go through it, but the program doesn't really teach any rules. The pattern recognition seems to really work better for my family overall. We also did the copy work approach with Spelling Wisdom for a while and that actually went fairly well. Better than AAS for us, but I had one who really needed more direct instruction. I am a fan of SW also though, and for many kids I think that approach would work very well.

NM

Maybe you can leave some of her independent school work for after 9 pm (not anything she needs your help for though). I would probably let her sleep til 11, teach the bulk of her work early afternoon, and assign homework daily for the independent portion. She can choose to set an alarm and do it in the morning before you teach her around lunch, or she can do it after 9 pm when she is up anyways. It's a good age for them to begin to develop some habits and independence, with both school and waking up. It might take some work and scaffolding, but if she is a natural night owl she will probably use evenings in college to study anyways. So it might help her to learn how to use some of that time productively. I am a true night owl and some of my best thinking has always been done at night. I tried my best not to take a college class before 11 am either. Know thyself :)

I say you did your turn so let someone else take over. You are adjusting to a major life change of working full time already. I would say "I am more than happy to help (just like those other moms say) but someone else will have to step up to the primary leadership role at this time. I have had a major life change of working full-time and I just do not have enough time to lead the troop next year". When push comes to shove, someone will probably step up, or the troop will merge with another. Or you can just drive to a different troop which even with driving will feel less stressful probably. Or it can be a time for the girls to try something fun and different for a year. Really any of those scenarios would be better than being stressed and unhappy. Just because your girls enjoy it does not mean you are obligated to lead a troop for the next decade. Seriously, some one else can have a turn! You don't even have to feel guilty about it- you volunteered to lead for almost two years!

Maybe Beautiful Feet? It adds some discussion questions and vocabulary to the CM style of notebooking. The time periods may be broken up a bit differently from some of the classical programs.

I had one chronic complainer. At first we tried having him say something he was grateful for every time he complained. We tried to turn the dialogue around in his head. It helped a little but his habits were engrained hard. Nothing seemed to work. This went on and on for a year or two and we kept trying to address it, but he just loved to find something to grumble about and be miserable about even though this kid has a very charmed life. Seriously blessed. Then one day I just about melted down on him, crying and begging him to see all his blessings. I don't remember the conversation that triggered it but I just couldn't take it anymore. I told him how worried I was that he couldn't be more positive. I listed all the truly wonderful things he had going for him and told him I was terrified he was going to grow up to be an unhappy person if he couldn't learn to find any gratitude and contentment in his life. It was a pretty deep conversation for an 11 year old but this had been going on and on and nothing was working. Something about seeing me cry for his future really got to him, or the words finally penetrated and he largely stopped. He still occasionally grumbles, but the constant complaining ended and he seems like a happier boy which is all I ever wanted for him. I was so thankful to see him have a breakthrough and really think about all his blessings. I do think complaining is a habit people get in. It did help some to point it out every time and redirect it, by making him say something positive or that he was grateful for. It takes a lot of work. My kid is very internally motivated, so I think he just finally realized he was making himself miserable and setting up a terrible pattern.

Living books for topics they are interested in, supplemented with videos if you find something interesting. Experiments and activities as you feel like it and time allows. Children can rotate choosing a science topic for the month or quarter or whatever. This worked well for us in the younger ages. It kept a lively interest in science as they got to choose what they were interested in most. I get that some people need more structure so if you are more that type I agree with the mystery science recommendations. You could even alternate them and see what you like better. You could rotate a mom pick in there and your pick could be a topic from mystery science to try it out.

My daughter was similar and I think I tried more spelling programs than anything. I had started sequential spelling when she was too young and she totally freaked out about the length of the word lists and melted down. So we jumped around for a few years. In 4th grade I realised nothing was sticking. She could not remember all the rules for AAS. Rote memorization of facts is really difficult for her and she struggles getting things into long term memory. She could barely write and was becoming highly self conscious in a group of her peers if writing or spelling was required. We took a pause from spelling lists to do Spelling Wisdom for a few months at the end of fourth which did help. We used some visualization exercises on the tricky words and it did cement a lot of common every day words. Then I circled back to sequential spelling in 5th grade and this time she was ready for it. I did it regular pace for a few months while learning keyboarding and then doubled the pace, doing one 5-10 minute list at the start of school and another at the end of school or in the evening. She starting seeing the patterns and things got so much better. She couldn't remember all the rules but the patterns really help her. Then she got a laptop with a word processor in 6th grade and suddenly she was writing her own stories and plays. Her whole world opened up with that computer. The stories in her head could finally come out. The spell checker really boosted her confidence. We are now in 7th grade and level 4 of SS. It takes 5-10 minutes a day and it is working for this child. I am slowing it back down as the lists are harder and just accepting that we will probably still be doing spelling in high school. I have also accepted she will never be a phenomenal natural speller. But she no longer berates herself or calls herself a terrible speller. She is an adequate functioning 7th grader at spelling. And thank goodness this generation has the technology to help them. Because it is really ok and I am glad she has the help as it has done wonders for her confidence and creativity. They will most likely spend more time typing and texting with spell check in this generation than writing on paper anyways.

sequential spelling is not entertaining but very quick and effective for us. We spend 5-10 minutes daily on spelling. They prefer me to read the words to the computer version though.

Wow except for the ADHD this sounds a lot like my DD. Seriously it takes forever for things to get locked in long term memory. I was in a similar place a year or so ago, and we decided to do MM 7 as our main math for pre Algebra this year and we have also been working through the Key to series as review math. So she spends 30-45 minutes on the regular program and other 10-20 on the review/supplement keys to series daily. I try to break it up and keep it close to an hour total. Seems to be working so far. I am hoping we get fractions, decimals and percents solidly down this year and I may use a second pre Algebra next year as well, at least for the first half of the year. I know a lot of the new concepts from this year may need a review before we move on. Alternatively, we may move on to algebra very slowly over two years in 8th-9th while using a supplemental review program on some pre Algebra topics. Not sure yet. Either way I don't think pushing too hard or too fast is a good plan for this type of child. The holes and forgotten knowledge will cause frustration later in higher math. I am always creating my own type of review plan to try and get this info into her long term memory and it will eventually stick, but it definitely takes longer than other types of learners. Spiral programs caused my daughter frustration in elementary grades when too many topics were reviewed and she couldn't keep up and remember all the rules. So we have always done a mastery type program with a general plan of learning one new topic and also having one review topic going on at a time. We have had success with Math U See, Math Mammoth (moves a little faster so I have to slow it down sometimes) and the Key to Series (really helpful). Not sure if he is a highly hands on or visual spatial learner like my daughter, but if he is math manipulatives and drawings still really help her even in pre Algebra. It helps it stick if she can see the picture or build it. This is actually often a strength in math later if you can make it through the arithmetic. Hope this helps!

Sometimes homeschool conventions can be overwhelming to new moms, it depends on your personality. Rainbow resource is always my favorite booth! I did a few years when the kids were young because I love to get my hands on the books, but I haven't been in years. These days I just read tons and tons of reviews (often on these forum boards) and I hoard all the good ideas for the future in my bullet journal. For things I currently need I look at online samples as many are generous. Christian vendors seem to be at least half or more of every convention I attended, even the secular conventions, although as I said it has been a while since I went. I do see more and more secular products on the market than 8 years ago when I first started looking. I think that market is growing. If you can plug in with a local homeschool group they often have curriculum type yard sales at the end of the year where you can also check out books and score great deals. Once you connect with other homeschool moms you may find someone is using something you are interested in. They are usually happy to bring their copy to park day so you can look at it while the kids play!

Thanks Lori!

Thanks for all the advice everyone! I think the biggest thing is just that my kids are not ever going to be those academic type of kids who love digging through primary sources in the original languages, lol...They really want to get this stuff done and get on to the things they enjoy. I am trying to learn not to be offended by this ;) I would have been thrilled at the idea of a stack of dusty books and learning ancient languages instead of being bored to death in public school. I am such a nerd really, lol... They do the work and have good attitudes and honestly it is a relief that they can do some on their own now. But it is very different than elementary and there is this sort of urgency, or feeling of running out of time. And there is a lot more anxiety about whether or not what we are doing now is preparing them for high school, which prepares them for college. I did not worry about these things in elementary but it is like time is speeding up on me now. And while it sounds fun to create all these student led projects and unit study ideas, honestly I don't know how to fit any more in if they want to do so much extra curricular. And I hate to cut out what they do love for more school, especially since no matter how fun and engaging we try to make it, it just still feels like school. Even with documentaries and hands on projects and creative writing and everything else. Believe me, I have done everything to make school 'fun'. It's still school to them. They would still rather go hang with their friends or shoot hoops. So instead of going around and around trying to make it better, fun, more engaging, or wonder where I went wrong etc...I am just trying to get to the point of acceptance. It's as 'fun' as it is going to get. I mean if I completely unschooled them that would be more fun but I am just not brave enough.

My mom just lost her husband, my step dad, this year. She really hated it when people told her they knew how she felt or that they were sorry (wasn't their fault!) She appreciated something like, we are here for you when you need us. She has had some men from her church help with yard work and home maintenance so that was really helpful since she has a lot of land and is all alone. She didn't really want or need any food. She was alone and not hungry from grief. If she has a yard a gift card (or even homemade coupon) offering help with grass or other work might be a thought. I agree with the poster who mentioned everyone wants to help the week of and then there is nothing. She will likely feel quite lonely in the weeks to come, so maybe taking her out for lunch as a group here and there at work or something like that. I don't try to find the words. I just called my mom for Valentine's day and left a message that I knew that day probably really sucked but that I loved her and I was thinking about her.

I need this reminder. Of course it would be helpful if my son would broaden his passions beyond video games, sigh... My daughter has many varied creative interests. Just not academic. Dance, theater, voice, art, creative writing among others.

Elementary school was so much fun. I have no regrets about my relaxed approach, and our park days and spur of the moment play dates. Our year round schedule of taking breaks when we felt like it and our child friendly approach to academics. Seriously- it was awesome. School was like a little thing we did on the side of you know, life. And schoolwork for 4th grade and under just didn't take that long so there was plenty of time to enjoy and experience life. Fast forward a few years and with two middle schoolers I am struggling. High school looms around the corner for one and I find myself totally stressed out when life interrupts my carefully made home school plans. My formerly relaxed homeschool suddenly feels 'schooly' and more checking off the boxes than ever before. The basics take so long there doesn't seem as much time for rabbit trails, and my kids just want to get school done so they can get to their myriad of activities. Despite me lovingly choosing the most engaging, child friendly, middle school resources for the type of learners they are, it just doesn't feel fun. Someone tell me this is ok. Please. Because I have decided that (gasp) school may just not be fun for my kids despite my best efforts. They are not academic like I was, and they just want to get it done. I get frustrated that they just want to check the boxes and get school done and that it doesn't feel like that homeschool postcard in my head, kwim? We are not doing too much, not nearly as much as some on these boards in middle school. But it just feels like going through the motions lots of days and checking off the boxes. And if middle school feels like this, the thought of high school gives me cold shudders. Can anyone relate? Or do your kids all just love their work? Now my kids will tell you they love homeschool (as in they have no desire to go to a brick and mortar) but sometimes I feel like I failed in creating this deep love of learning. I am not sure where I went wrong. They have a lot of other interests and passions outside of school they pursue, and their hearts lead that way. I remind myself I was surrounded by people in school who did not enjoy school. But that was not what I was trying to create at home!

I have struggled with this myself. Where is the line between hyper-sexualized vs freedom and empowerment? I am not sure. I remember a couple of summers ago looking at all the teenage girls in bikinis in a different light. There was just something all American about it, a confidence in showing their bodies. It was interesting as I had tended to think of adolescent girls as insecure and hyper-sexualized. But they didn't seem insecure or all that self conscious, surprisingly. Nor did they seem like a bunch of sexual she tigers out on the hunt, lol.. They seemed innocent and harmless and confident yet wearing the equivalent of skimpy bras and undies in full view of the public. It was a bit surreal. Some women may wear heels (or dresses, or bikinis) because it is required or to look sexy, but some may just like how they feel in them. I think it is generalizing to say that all women dress a certain way or wear heels because society expects us to put our sexuality on display. Some women enjoy wearing heels and revealing clothes. Should they cover up or not wear heels because someone else decides they are being degraded or sexualized? Isn't that just as bad as someone having to wear a dress and heels who doesn't want to wear them? For me, it's all about a woman having the freedom to decide for herself. Every one trying to take that freedom and tell a woman what she should or shouldn't wear is the most objectifying part of it all to me. There are just not this many conversations about what boys should or shouldn't wear. There are a few, but not this many. For the most part, they wear what they want without a whole lot of commentary and debate about it. Lucky ducks!

For a lot of people these days it is a wardrobe staple, like my blue jeans are to me. If someone suddenly decided I couldn't wear jeans in school I would have been at a complete loss. For a lot of these girls it is literally all they wear, all the time. So for them, it probably feels like a big deal to be told they can't wear them. Plus they are comfy, fashionable, and cheap. Triple threat...

I think schools and society are going to lose the legging wars. They have become the new jean. Once upon a time jeans were controversial and frowned upon too. Leggings have invaded and taken over society. They are everywhere. Even on 50 to 60 year old women AND men. If even male baby boomers are wearing leggings, I think they are here to stay, lol...

NM- I was veering off topic!

I don't get the shoulder thing. When did shoulders become a sexual body part? All these home school dances around me are requiring crazy 3-5 inch widths on dress straps. Of course there is almost nothing like that in retail so effectively it means all the girls are wearing old lady cardigans over their formal wear. Just because we are homeschoolers I don't necessarily want my kid to have to wear a granny sweater all night at the formal dance because shoulders are banned. I think it is a bit ridiculous. On the other hand I saw some recent public school prom dresses and HOLY MOLEY we weren't wearing stuff like that when I was in school. Crazy sexy cutouts, sheer dresses, deep plunges in front and back and slits all the way up. I am no prude but I was a little shocked parents were letting their kids out like that at 16. I guess everyone has a line (or at least most of us, some perhaps wouldn't mind a nude society). But sometimes it feels like the whole world is focused on telling my daughter what to wear one way or another. It would be nice if these were decisions I could have as a parent or she could have as a person, instead of everyone trying to determine it for us! Edited to delete last section-veering off topic!