Ok, so I think I am depressed...

[Shelly in IL]

And probably have been for about a year. I think the damage done to my father's mental health during his anesthesia has been a very big reason for this depression. We have been dealing with his problems since the beginning of August and most recently they problems have gotten severe.

 

So, what do I do about it? I don't think I am severely depressed. I certainly can function. I do school with the boys every day like clockwork (only sometimes I can be a shrew), we keep a very busy outside schedule (hockey, boy scouts, cub scouts, tennis, active church life, altar servers, etc.), and I cook extensively. I can't seem to control myself around food, at all. (In fact, I think our lives revolve around food - make food, do school, make food, do some more school, make food and run to activity.)

 

I am now about 30 pounds overweight. And, tonight was the first eye opener for me - my son was calling with an ear ache, and I just rolled over and let my husband get him. I just didn't want to think about it. Well, it is 2:30 a.m. and I obviously eventually got up - now I can't get back to sleep. (keep in mind, son is 13, not avoiding a little baby)

 

Any great suggestions? I do exercise, but diet seems like an insurmountable task right now. It is like I've just given up on myself, weight-wise. We are going to Florida for a week on Sun. and I just don't want to go - beached whale comes to mind. Does St. John's wart do anything? Thanks.

[Ibbygirl]

I'm so sorry to hear your troubles. I have never taken St. John's Wart so I am useless about that. When I get depressed, I force myself to stop and list 5 things that I'm grateful for. That always helps me because it helps me put things into perspective that it's not ALL bad. For me also, I have to get alone with God and do some serious praise and worship on my face. My circumstances may not change one bit, but God changes me and refreshes me and gives me a new strength to go on. When my son was diagnosed with Autism when he was 3 years old I cried almost non stop for 6 weeks. It wasn't that I loved him any less, if anything I loved him even more because I felt more protective toward him, but I was crying over all of the struggles I knew he would have in his life, would he ever marry, be able to throw a baseball, have friends? I cried even in my sleep. I would wake up with tears in my eyes all the time. I just drew close to God and stayed as close to Him as I could. The Bible says in Psalm 22:3 that God "inhabits the praise of his people". And he has proven that to me over and over. Whenever I am sad, the first thing I do is get alone and get out the really good praise and worship cd's and play them loud and just sing my heart out to Him. He comes so close and when He does, He makes me feel so much better. My circumstances are still the same, but I am encouraged because I know He cares for me and that I am not walking alone. I hope this helps you. :grouphug:

 

Jennifer

 

Oh, ps, I live in Florida, and for me, going to the beach is actually huge therapy. When I'm sad, it's one of my favorite places to go. I love to go at night and sit by the shore and watch the water. After 10 mintues I feel so much better. Works for me every time. Also getting out of the house and having a change of scenery might do you good. Sometimes just getting away even for a little while helps. :)God bless you honey. HUGS.

Edited April 17, 2009 by Ibbygirl

[Danestress]

I am really sorry about your father. Mine has had terrible reactions to anesthesia affecting his cognitive function quite dramatically (and he has none to spare). I am really stressed because he needs a colonoscopy,and I believe that the necessary anesthesia will be a 2 month ordeal. It's very stressful and I am not at all surprised that this is affecting your health.

 

I would talk to a doctor about the depression. Sometimes we don't have the best perspective on just how serious an issue is, and I would at least do a screening and let your family members give input on just how worried they are (so that you don't just go an minimize the problem or, I guess, exaggerate).

 

Exercise is really a great help with depression - and would, of course, help with the weight loss. Getting on a healthy diet plan and working out everyday might make a major difference. But I would want to at least do the depression screening.

 

By the way, I don't think letting your DH handle a child with an ear ache is a big deal at all. If there are two parents in the house, either of them can deal with middle of the night illnesses unless the child is a toddler and just HAS to have one of the parents. I wouldn't feel guilty about that at all, Shelly, and the fact that you do makes me wonder if you are sort of in "beat up Shelly" mode. God gave your son TWO parents.

[snickelfritz]

I was having multiple health issues, including "minor" depression and anxiety. The anxiety and sleeplessness, I was aware of. The depression was only clear to me when I was out of it and looking back.

 

For *me* the answer was in adjusting my thyroid medication and temporarily adding in progesterone. Once my thyroid leveled out, my body leveled out the progesterone. I also make have been much more diligent about taking a multi-vitamin and I added in fish oil. I do also feel much better when I get exercise (walking) and some sun. So, the beach might make you feel better. For *me* it really helped to buy a swimsuit, matching coverup, beach bag, etc...

 

After my levels were fixed, I could look back and see a little more easily how much my depression and anxiety were affecting me.

 

I've had friends who greatly benefitted from anti-depressants, some short term and some long term.

 

I don't know the particulars about you, but my point was just that there could be lots of minor things that a doctor could help you with. I do think it's important to find a doctor who won't just throw the pills at you without looking at the whole picture. My family practice doctor is fabulous about that. While we talked about it, she really thought my issues were due to the thyroid imbalance and that's what she altered.

[ChristyB in TN]

I'm so sorry. I don't think anything such as St. John's Wort is going to help quickly like that. It doesn't seem to me that you are severe but being depressed is it's own sort of severe, I think. Can you get away by yourself to walk outside for an hour every day? Could you even walk with a friend? I love to sit and make goals for myself because it gives me hope and hope is important when avoiding depression. I am working hard to avoid alcohol and get depressed easily. I love yoga. It makes me love my body and it helps me to center and focus. I recommend it to anyone and everyone. My favorite classes to take my friends to who are experiencing yoga for the first time are the ones for older people at community centers and churches and such. The people in the classes are loving and sometimes have a great time! They are a hoot if they are old! :D Don't focus on your body and your vacation. Use it as a time to look at your family and love them and their beautiful bodies. You will love yourself more for it, too. Being aware that you are depressed is the biggie, now you can find a way out. Just love, love, love yourself, your family, your life, your friends, the spring sunshine... Maybe sit quietly and say a prayer (whatever your beliefs) or a few grateful words and then think about the beauty in and around you. I'm sorry you are going through this.

[Shelly in IL]

reading your posts made me cry, so, I think it is evident that there is something there...

 

I definitely am anxious, constantly picking at fingernails/feet, etc. I do exercise (about 10 miles of running/walking a week, 15 when I'm reallly doing well) and my diet is not great. Seems like I just don't care enough to worry about it, yet I worry about my weight constantly!

 

Maybe I should see someone...I don't have a regular doctor, just an OBGYN. I'm going to have to do some shopping. Thanks for the help.

[Ria]

(((Shelly)))

 

Do see a doctor. Self-medicating with St. John's wort is really not a good idea...it's a drug, too, and can have some nasty side effects and interactions with other medications. Much better to take meds under a doctor's care.

 

I'll be praying for you. Please call a family doc today and make an appt. You can do it!

 

Ria

[Sue G in PA]

I'm sorry you are going through this. Depression is not fun. I've struggled w/ off and on depression for most of my adult and adolescent life. I started seeing a therapist in Sept. and it was the best thing I could have ever done. A few months ago I hit a "wall". Therapy was helping but I still had this "cloud" over my head. So, I went to a dr. and got an Rx for anti-depressants. It was the hardest thing I ever did and probably the best. I don't want to be on meds for the rest of my life and am hopeful that with continued therapy I can wean from the meds soon. For me, the meds are simply a way for me to create new habits, new ways of thinking, to re-train my brain to function in a healthy way. Studies have shown that we can actually re-train our brains to work differently. Medication is helping me do that. I urge you to see a counselor before going on meds. In my opinion, the two should go hand-in-hand. That's just my opinion. Good luck to you. My prayers are with you.

[Tammy]

I think you need to have some FUN. And by fun....I mean things YOU like to do. It seems your life is all scheduled out for you. Take a day off....and go out to lunch with some friends! I think before people jump on the 'pill' fix....you need to step back and see exactly what is making you depressed and try to fix it first.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

I agree with everyone who said to talk to your doctor.

 

I was depressed when ds was a baby and it's something that I still struggle with. Anti-depressants helped me become well enough to make some lifestyle changes which, for the most part, are enough to keep me healthy. I still slide but am now able to see it and reduce my stress level, up my exercise etc to control it.

 

It was that first step of recognizing the problem and getting help that was the hardest.

[melissel]

:grouphug: I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. What a devastating thing to have happen :(

 

If you think you might just need something to help take the edge off, you might look into 5-HTP and read the book The Mood Cure. I don't have anything at all against antidepressants--I'd gladly use them if I needed them, and pretty much every woman in my family is on them (or should be!)--but I've found that 100-200 mg of 5-HTP per day puts me on the right track (and has the bonus benefit of settling my stomach). I'd also look into counseling as well, because you just can't imagine how much it helps to unload your emotions on an impartial party each week. I loved therapy and I loved my therapist, but I can't afford to go back to her right now. The 5-HTP is doing the trick for now though.

 

Definitely check the Mood Cure before starting anything. She runs through many different options and has some self-tests you can take to help you find the right supplement.

 

The not being able to control yourself around food could also be coming from the stress you're under. Stress depletes serotonin and pumps a steady stream of cortisol through your brain, which in turn triggers your body to want to stockpile for energy/emergencies. When I'm not taking my 5-HTP, I literally find myself roaming the house all day long, looking for something to satisfy a craving that's never fulfilled.

 

Are you getting good enough good protein? Enough sunlight? Enough good sleep? Can you try going to bed earlier in the evenings to get an extra hour or so of before-midnight sleep? Are you taking vitamins? Fish oil? Can you have yourself tested to see if you need extra vitamin D? You may be running around a lot during the day, but you may not be getting enough direct sunlight.

 

Depending on just how badly you're feeling, I'd try some lifestyle/supplement changes first. But if you truly believe you need to go for the big guns right away, then go straight to your doc, and don't feel bad about it. You need what you need, and a happy mama is very important for any family, particularly one caring for an elderly and struggling parent.

 

Many :grouphug: to you. I hope you find something that works for you as soon as possible.

[TKDmom]

I don't have any really good advice for you, but I'll vote to stay away from the St. John's Wort. I took an herbal pharmacology class at one point in college and the professor said that St. John's Wort has 27 (!) pharmacologically active components, which haven't been studied for how they interact with each other, with your body, etc. He also said that there's generally not enough of them in a dose to have much effect, but you don't really have any way of knowing. Personally, if I were looking at medication, I'd want to go with one at a time and know what the dosage is.

 

For me, I think the most important thing is to make sure I have a certain amount of time every day to do something that is enjoyable to me (by myself, even if it's only for 20 min). I have discovered something as simple as sitting in the backyard under a tree and enjoying the beauty of the leaves blowing in the wind can give me the energy to go back in and face the daily grind again.

[Catwoman]

:grouphug:Shelly:grouphug:

 

I wish I lived near you so we could go out together for a little Shopping Therapy, followed by a Coffee and Pastry Treatment.

 

The one good thing I see here is that you recognize that something is wrong and you want to take steps to help you get back to being yourself again.

 

I wish I had some good advice for you, but you've already gotten some good suggestions and I'm sure you'll hear many more.

 

Cat