Lux Et Veritas Academy Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Honestly, I am pulled in a million directions with 4 kids, a small business and my church responsibilities. I exercise, try to eat right and sleep- but I am looking for creative techniques to manage stress better. I could redo my children's schedule but I feel that they are each excelling in their own lives, so I am not sure I want to pull them from their activities, to make my life easier. I am looking for management solutions to help with the parenting responsibilities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2abcd Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 I'll bump this up for you and offer you my feeble suggestons. We have four kids, too, and our life pretty much revolves around them. You don't mention your husband. If you have one, remember to keep your relationship with him a priority. Take time and money to go out for a piece of pie or if you don't have any kids old enough to babysit, bake a frozen pie and have a date night after the kids are in bed. He should be your #1 Go-to for help with parenting responsibilities. Other ideas to take care of yourself: I'd suggest you back off of what you can... like some church responsibilities. Trade that time for something that "fills your bucket." For me it's Bible study with other women or (less fulfilling) just Girl Time with a trusted friend that you can share your burdens and joys with. In answer to your question of how I actually handle stress, my first reaction was Chips Ahoy! (NOT good, I know!) Really, my morning prayer time before I climb out of bed is very helpful for me in relieving stress, as are all the times I snag for sweet communion with the God of the Universe who has everything under control, even when I don't. I pray for guidance and for His will to be done and then can usually be at peace and plug away. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dopeyfav Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 I have a friend who has 5 children and she has a Fiesta time every day. This is 1 hour that is set aside for everyone in the to do something they enjoy. It has to be quiet and they have to do it alone. This works very well for her, as she still has small children that nap and it gives the older children time to unwind also. However, most importantly, she gets 1 hour to herself to do anything she wants. Just a thought, don't know if it is practical for you. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Closeacademy Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Honestly, I cut out everything that is not important to my immediate family. For us in the past, this has meant stepping down from my church obligations. I find that it is better for us to take care of our family's spiritual needs before taking care of other people's spiritual needs. Just like if I take care of myself (bathing, eating right, taking quiet time out) that I am better able to take care of the children. So basically, figure out what your priorities are, get them in order and cut the fluff. Find out where you are spending your time and energy (worry) and figure out where you really need to and want to spend those resources and cut every thing else--all those have tos that you really don't need to do or even want to do. Good luck and I hope you find your way.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in SouthGa Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 A couple of years ago, I was on the board of the local homeschool group and director of a fine arts school for homeschoolers, plus homeschooling 3 children and keeping up with all the normal mom & wife duties. When I found out I was pregnant with my fourth child (a big gigantic SURPRISE), I really felt like it was the Lord telling me it was time to slow down and focus on my family. I worked myself out of those responsibilites by the time my little angel was born, and I can't even imagine what life would be like if I had not let go of those things. We have seasons in our lives. We can't be all things to all people all of the time. Right now my job is to be a wife, mom, and teacher to my kids. When the baby is old enough to participate in these things, we'll probably get involved again. But right now I am enjoying dropping the older ones off once a week and having the baby all to myself for a few hours. (and going to the grocery store without it feeling like a circus coming to town) I don't know what all your church duties are, but would it be possible to cut back there? We don't have a church home right now, but we are finding ways that we can serve together, getting the kids very involved, so it doesn't take time away from the family, and also so that they can see for themselves what love in action is all about. You wrote that you are running (?) a small business. Is this a financial necessecity, or something that someone else could help with? Could you put it aside until the kids are older and can be involved in helping run it? I know it is hard to limit the kids activities, and we have not really done that either except when there are major conflicts (you can't play soccer and baseball at the same time because the seasons overlap). If there is nothing that can be let go, then make a definite date night with your dh, and a coffee night with a close friend or two. Getting out of the house for a couple hours a week without the kids does wonders for my sanity!! hth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 ...is to limit my volunteer work to what I can truly do cheerfully (The Lord loves a cheerful giver!). Also, I go out of my way to give where it fits in really, really well anyway. For instance, I would take my DD to Sunday school no matter what, so as long as I'm there, I can do something I love (the Sunday School music and openings) that really benefits the church, without having to make a special trip or leave my family to do so. I also try to give time judiciously. I try to give time where I have specific expertise to offer, more so than just straight up drudge work--although I do some of that, too. I think everyone has to. But I lean toward areas where I can do something that not everyone else can do as easily. And I have made a rule not to add something without subtracting something. I really do try to follow that. Not always successfully, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bethben Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 I have something I call "mommy spa" when I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. I cook dinner for my family and then when dh comes home, I head to my bedroom and lock my door. Then I eat dinner by myself and watch a movie or read a book - whatever I want. Sometimes, dh has offered to bring some favorite food for me to eat. Nobody is allowed to bug me until the next morning. I go on a free mini-vacation. For some reason, it really helps me to get rejuvinated. I have a friend who scrapbooks during her mommy spa. Beth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in MO Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Could that be why I'm hiding in the office eating M and M's? :lol:Julie in MO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Could that be why I'm hiding in the office eating M and M's?:lol:Julie in MO ....stressbuster of champions! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Curves, as in the exercise place. That's the best thing I've ever done for stress. Brownies, that's the worst. Talk to your dh seriously about your commitments and see if there are things he thinks you ought to drop. If so, drop them. Say your dh said to. Use him as an excuse so you can be at a peaceful place in life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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