bethben Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 We have been trying to adopt from China on their waiting child program. We are finding that the children on the lists they get have more medical issues than we can handle. We already have a 9 year old in a wheelchair with significant developmental delays. We're trying to find a 3 year old or younger with either mild medical issues or none at all. We're having a lot of trouble just due to our families ability to travel for long periods of time (2 weeks is our max). Also, has anyone in a small town adopted from Ethiopia or adopted an African American child? Our racial makeup around here is white norweigen (we live in MN), Hispanic, and Asian. There are VERY few blacks. Anybody have this experiences? I'm thinking about when they get older and being homeschooled AND being very different racially. Beth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpecialClassical Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 have almost finished our home study for an Ethiopian adoption. We live in a small city that is a mix of ethnicities, but predominately white. I highly recommend the book, "In Their Own Voices". Adult AA adoptees are interviewed about their experiences in white families. Some are from areas as you described yours. The book should give you a good idea of what the issues are for these children. Do keep in mind that the people interviewed were adopted mostly around the late 60's and early 70's. Some factors are different now, but overall the concerns would be the same. It was encouraging for me. As far as special needs, you might want to check out the site Positively Orphaned to see what the true concerns of raising an HIV+ child are. Also, the mom at Fullhousehandshearts.typepad.com posted about a little girl in China that is waiting and is HIV+. I'll tell you how to find that post if I find it again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpecialClassical Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 I tried to edit my other post, but was unsuccessful. The little girl I mentioned has been matched with a family. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessedfamily Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 While searching for help with AA children's haircare, I found quite a few websites for non AAs adopting AA children. Maybe you might find some perspective from online groups? :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 If you are thinking of a toddler and willing to adopt an African American or mixed race child, have you considered domestic adoption? In our area (and in most areas) there are more minority race children available than there are good homes. Many of them are toddlers/younger preschoolers as well. With this (esp. if you can take some medical needs) the child would qualify for medicaid, a support subsidy, etc., very little to no travel would be involved, and the cost would be near zero. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bethben Posted January 26, 2009 Author Share Posted January 26, 2009 We are open to it, but have NO IDEA where to start. With international adoption, you fill out all the paperwork and then wait - they match you with a child. My impression of domestic adoption is that you write this nice letter saying "choose me!" and then wait for a birth mom to pick you. The other impression is that you foster care and then hopefully some child is available for adoption, but you never really know if the child you foster parent will ever be available. I am open to this, but don't know how to navigate that maze. Beth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VanessaS Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 I second the domestic adoption option. Also, has anyone in a small town adopted from Ethiopia or adopted an African American child? Our racial makeup around here is white norweigen (we live in MN), Hispanic, and Asian. There are VERY few blacks. Anybody have this experiences? I'm thinking about when they get older and being homeschooled AND being very different racially. Anyway I'm black (mixed-race) and have lived my life in areas that were almost exclusively white. Didn't really have any problems. Sometimes I was viewed as exotic (and chased by boys when i was older) but other than that it wasn't a big deal. I'm homeschooling my kids as well. Two of my black cousins came to live with us for a few years and their experience was similar to mine. Remember that racism tends to be worst in areas with larger minority populations. And, at least in the area I live in now (mostly white) interracial adoption and marriage is quite common. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen a black child here who doesn't have at least one white parent. Times are a changin'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bethben Posted January 26, 2009 Author Share Posted January 26, 2009 Were you raised with two white parents? I've heard that it does make a difference in how they accept themselves. She would be greatly loved. It was funny, I asked my son if it mattered...he said "does it really matter what color she is?" I agree. I have a friend adopted from Hawaii who was thought to be black by people in her small town(not too far away from here actually). They had to have a racial awareness day at her high school because of how she was treated. I couldn't believe it! She's "exotically beautiful!" Our town is a college town and more open to racial differences, so we have that going for it. Anyone want to help with the domestic adoption maze? Where do I go for that? Beth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in C-ville Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Since you're in MN, you might want to check out this link: http://www.hopeingod.org/MinistriesAdoption.aspx. It's on the Bethlehem Baptist Church website. This is John Piper's church and he and his wife, Noel, adopted a little girl who they named "Talitha." I have visited this church several times and though it's in MN, it is very racially diverse. At this link you can find resources, information, etc. I'm sure the good people here would be happy to help! BTW, we're in the midst of a Ukrainian adoption. Ukraine probably is not an option for you b/c you want a younger healthy child. We're trying to adopt a little girl who is healthy, but will be 8 by the time she comes home. We hosted her for four weeks this summer and are now trying to bring her into our family for good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soph the vet Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Since you're in MN, you might want to check out this link: http://www.hopeingod.org/MinistriesAdoption.aspx. It's on the Bethlehem Baptist Church website. This is John Piper's church and he and his wife, Noel, adopted a little girl who they named "Talitha." I have visited this church several times and though it's in MN, it is very racially diverse. At this link you can find resources, information, etc. I'm sure the good people here would be happy to help! quote] This is my church and there are tons of adoptive families, most of whom are a mixture of white parents and children of all colors. I know there are Ethiopian adoptions happening through Children's Home Society in St. Anthony Park (St. Paul). Also, I work with adult Ethiopians and Somalis and we have a very large Ethiopian population in the Twin Cities so depending on how far away you are there would be ample cultural opportunities for your dc to learn about their native country. PM me if you want! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 We are open to it, but have NO IDEA where to start. With international adoption, you fill out all the paperwork and then wait - they match you with a child. My impression of domestic adoption is that you write this nice letter saying "choose me!" and then wait for a birth mom to pick you. The other impression is that you foster care and then hopefully some child is available for adoption, but you never really know if the child you foster parent will ever be available. I am open to this, but don't know how to navigate that maze.Beth I don't know about your state, but TX has a program where you can take foster parent classes and basically choose only to take children that are 'legally free' which means that the parents rights have been terminated and they are free for adoption. You would be their foster parent for 6 months or so until the adoption could be finalized and then the child is yours. You would not have to go through the heartbreak of losing a child that you thought you were going to adopt. I recommend getting a lawyer from the get go though, because at least in Tx some of the people 'in the system' are very sneaky. Yes, we have dealt with that and lost a child because of it. The fees are low (mainly just the lawyer) and there is usually no long distance travel involved. There are many AA and biracial babies available around here for quick adoption. So sad. Good luck on the adoption. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferdie Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 For domestic adoption through the foster system you can call your local Department of Children's Services. Ask if they have a foster adoption program. If so they will guide you in the right direction. If not you can ask for information on a straight adoption program. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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