candleinaustin Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 So, I'm doing dishes in the kitchen, deep in thought, since this is not my favorite chore, I usually let my mind wander. My daughter sneaks up right behind me and yells BOO! at the top of her lungs. I scream so loud, it hurts my chest and was incredibly frightened. She's done this over the years to my disappointment and has never really understood that this frightens me to the point of madness. She is a very playful happy little child with all the love in the world for me, however...she just doesn't get it when it comes to this. I literally thought I was going to have a heart attack and this happened at 4p.m. and I'm still shaky. I've put her in her room, no phone, no electronic gadgets, nothing. How long should she stay to get the point across? I haven't been able to get across the message that this isn't funny and that it's likely going to give me a heart attack someday. Should she get to play today? Should she ever come out. I'm in tears...I feel really disrespected. I'm probably pms'ing too.... :confused: Kids... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
candleinaustin Posted January 22, 2009 Author Share Posted January 22, 2009 I can already see how this will be funny to some of you as I'm slowly beginning to calm down. Thanks for any words of wisdom or wit you can give. Hugs - M :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cricket Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Give her a bell to wear? :) If my dd did that to me, I would think it was funny. In fact, my dc have scared me witless before like that. But, you have every right to tell your dc what they are or are not allowed to do in your home. Since you don't like her doing that and have told her that before, then I see no problem treating it like any other act of disobedience. You don't say how old she is. Maybe that would help others give more specific advice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 I think you need to explain to her that if the other person doesn't think something is funny then it isn't a good joke. That is true for practical jokes and teasing too. Is there someone else in her life who would appreciate being scared half to death?:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
candleinaustin Posted January 22, 2009 Author Share Posted January 22, 2009 I like the bell idea - lol. I may actually try that..tee hee hee. At least I'm giggling now instead of feeling like such a stick in the mud!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 (edited) I've put her in her room<snip> I'm in tears...I feel really disrespected Did she get a chance to see this part of your reaction? Let her experience how it affects you. Tell her what you told us: "I feel really disrespected, shook up, scared, so upset I'm literally shaking. This is an awful feeling for me that lasts for so long." Reminder of something that scared her awfully, or something that would. Let her look you in the eye while you communicate this. Edited January 23, 2009 by dragons in the flower bed bad code Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
candleinaustin Posted January 22, 2009 Author Share Posted January 22, 2009 She's 9 years old. But, she's done this kind of thing for years. She is the kind of child that will crawl steathily down the hallway, around the side of my bed late at night after we've all gone to sleep and she'll quietly stand there just smiling at me by my side. At some point, I'll wake up see her dark tiny shadowy figure, and I lose it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Buckin' Longhorn Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 She's 9 years old. But, she's done this kind of thing for years. She is the kind of child that will crawl steathily down the hallway, around the side of my bed late at night after we've all gone to sleep and she'll quietly stand there just smiling at me by my side. At some point, I'll wake up see her dark tiny shadowy figure, and I lose it! Oh, my goodness . . . your daughter will grow up into my son. Sorry. I have yelled, screamed, cried, punished and more . . . he is so sneaky. He's the kind of person who can cook and eat an entire meal, going in and out of room a hundred times and is SO QUIET that I won't even notice he's in the house. I HATE IT!!!! And, yes, he does seem to enjoy scaring me to death. We've made him limit it to other members of the family because I immediately begin cussing him out when he does it to me . . . so that does ruin all the fun of it for him. I'm not saying I recommend it . . . but . . . it does work, the cussing out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Practice fainting and scare the poop out of her next time she does it. Yeah, it's a bit deceitful, but what the hey? I'd be planning some major payback, my kids would be watching their backs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 I totally understand where you are coming from. I have heart palpitations occasionally and I hate the feeling of being scared.....my heart races and I get shaky. It is not fun! I think I would hit the roof too! Since you dislike it so much, and I totally understand, I do think that she should be punished....especailly because you have told her so many times not to do it. Hugs to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 I used to have a boss that did this every couple of weeks. I tried talking to him, I tried getting mad, nothing worked. Until one day, I told him that if he did it again I was going to file a formal harassment charge against him. And he then he finally figured out that I wasn't kidding. Since she has always done it and if you really want her to stop, then you need to figure out a different consequence. Some might think I'm mean, but I give her a physically demanding chore, like moving bricks, to one pile and then another. Something that will go past the point of funny or silly, to the point of discomfort and irritation. To remind her that it doesn't 'feel' good to get scared, it is very, very rude, and mean spirited to keep doing this to you. That her getting joy out of hurting you, is abusive and cruel. It is much like you punching her, or pushing her down the stairs to watch her reaction... for fun. She needs to learn that this is not a joke and it hurts. You really need to get stern with her, and your spouse does too. If you keep laughing it off, she will too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
candleinaustin Posted January 22, 2009 Author Share Posted January 22, 2009 Well, the "boogie" girl is out now. I figured an hour in isolation was sufficient. All in all, she's an exceptionally behaved child and we are blessed for that. We had a great talk and I hope I have her understanding my side of things. I sure appreciate all the thoughts, this WAS a great day and I hope to salvage what's left of it. My throat is raw from screeching earlier and yeah - still shaky. Must be time for a long hot bath and some pampering, even though I've already showered today, I deserve it right? Bye for now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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