Nicole M Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 If so, how? My dear, kind husband, bless him, is the loudest chewer and swallower I have ever had the privilege to share a meal with. I mean, so loud you can year him in the next room. So loud the children offer suggestions, a la, "Dad, try holding your breath when you chew! Let's see if that's quieter!" We play music, doesn't help. He's loud. It's disgusting. I know there are bigger problems in the world, but this is truly getting me down. I do not enjoy meals anymore. I am uber aware of how long it will take him to finish ("Okay, he's almost done with salad, thank heavens, and then he'll move on to the rice, which is quieter."). I make excuses to get up from the table to go into the kitchen to fetch something. Why can't I let this go? Ear plugs would be rude, obviously, but the thought crosses my mind. If you have any suggestions, please share. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tibbyl Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Is the loud chewing a recent development or did he chew loudly when you met him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicole M Posted January 15, 2009 Author Share Posted January 15, 2009 Gosh. I don't know. I did notice it early on, but we had kids right away, and meals were chaotic for a long time and there were distractions. Then for years I worked through dinner, and it's only been recently that we're sharing breakfast and dinner. I think he's much louder now, though, than when we met. Why? What are ya thinkin'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in PA Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 If so, how? My dear, kind husband, bless him, is the loudest chewer and swallower I have ever had the privilege to share a meal with. I'm sorry I don't have any advice to offer, but I just have to say that I have noticed that I am sooo much more sensitive to my dh's chewing and swallowing when I am PMSing. It is so aggravating that sometimes I can't help but say something about it at the dinner table, which I hate to do because it is pretty rude to mention. But it really does drive me crazy at certain times of the month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 I don't know, but my mom & bro & sis were that way growing up. I couldn't *wait* to move out.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicole M Posted January 15, 2009 Author Share Posted January 15, 2009 I'm sorry I don't have any advice to offer, but I just have to say that I have noticed that I am sooo much more sensitive to my dh's chewing and swallowing when I am PMSing. It is so aggravating that sometimes I can't help but say something about it at the dinner table, which I hate to do because it is pretty rude to mention. But it really does drive me crazy at certain times of the month. This made me laugh. Maybe it's (peri-)menopause that's my problem?! Because it bugs me all the time, no matter whether I'm PMSing or not. I wish this were not the case, but it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 YES! You might be wierded out but this really works, and you did ask for help. www.tapping.com Works on fears and annoyances. I used it on DDs voice (she yells everything!) and I also used it b/c I couldn't stand the smell of my mom's hairspray. It is a mind/body connection technique. After you look at it, I can tell you... use the phrase, "Even though I can't stand the sound of my husband's chewing, I completely love and accept myself." then move on to "I completely love and accept him" and any other phrases you can think of "the sound of his saliva sloshing around... etc". Also try doing some of the tapping while you hear him chew. The collar bone point is good for that, as is the karate chop point and all the fingers because it is less obvious what you are doing. There is also a point on your chest that is about 2 inches down and out from the collar bone point. It is called the sore spot and is the most effective for a lot of people. Don't forget to "seal the deal" with eye movements to clue your brain into what you are focusing on. I do this between two tapping sessions. I forgot the eye movements for a while... they really make a difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Oh my gosh, I was going to post something on this tonight about my wonderful husband. That is one way to make me positively grazy. Dh didn't start out having the best table manners, but I did gently work on improving things. For years, it seemed OK - tolerable. Lately, I want to run away when he eats. Even when dh does everything right, it is still loud. The inhale to put food in his mouth rather than placing it in there, I keep worrying he is going to choke. I need suggestions as well. I am about to lose my mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicole M Posted January 15, 2009 Author Share Posted January 15, 2009 YES! You might be wierded out but this really works, and you did ask for help. www.tapping.com Works on fears and annoyances. I used it on DDs voice (she yells everything!) and I also used it b/c I couldn't stand the smell of my mom's hairspray. It is a mind/body connection technique. Interesting. My mom is totally into the tapping thing, but I thought it was just another one of her nutty interests....;) It annoys me when my children need outside confirmation of things I recommend to them, and here I am doing it now, needing a third party to open my eyes to the possibility that this might help. That, and I'm desperate. Thanks for the link. I'll try it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest janainaz Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Oh, my gosh, that is hilarious. I have no suggestions or advice, I can't stand to listen to anyone chew and eat - especially my sister. I imagine myself with a baseball bat.... My dh is a loud eater, but what's worse is the fact that when he eats a salad, or anything that might get ketchup or dressing on his face or mouth, he'll leave it until he's done. I've asked him how he manages to go to lunch with colleagues and eat like that. He told me he makes everyone feel more comfortable. :glare: I have gotten so bugged by him I just get up and eat somewhere else. Usually we are having a conversation while eating, so I'm not so focused on it, but if it's quiet......my baseball bat comes to mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Interesting. My mom is totally into the tapping thing, but I thought it was just another one of her nutty interests....;) I went super overboard with it for a while ("nutty" would be appropriate for the enthusiasm, I think everyone goes crazy with it at first). I am more reasonable now;)... but it really does help. You can get a lot more specific tapping help and examples at emofree.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicole M Posted January 15, 2009 Author Share Posted January 15, 2009 Oh, my gosh, that is hilarious. I have no suggestions or advice, I can't stand to listen to anyone chew and eat - especially my sister. I imagine myself with a baseball bat.... My dh is a loud eater, but what's worse is the fact that when he eats a salad, or anything that might get ketchup or dressing on his face or mouth, he'll leave it until he's done. I've asked him how he manages to go to lunch with colleagues and eat like that. He told me he makes everyone feel more comfortable. :glare: I have gotten so bugged by him I just get up and eat somewhere else. Usually we are having a conversation while eating, so I'm not so focused on it, but if it's quiet......my baseball bat comes to mind. Oh, my goodness! That's so thoughtful of him... and sad! That he waits until everyone is finished. Poor guy. I feel so sorry for these men. They can't help it (I think). It must stink to know you're really annoying people. I actually was thinking about changing some of our meals because I can't take it. You know, not serving crunchy things. But this man makes noise with everything! Note to self: be sure baseball bats are out of the house if irritation and / or noise level escalates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 you know, I honestly think I hear my husbands glands salivate! And all that sloshing around just GROSSES ME OUT! And it grosses out my oldest son! It got to the point where my sons were eating at the island so that oldest couldn't hear hubby, and the girls, dh and I were eating at the table. I didn't like the separation, so at CHristmas when extended family gathered to celebrate, I removed the bar stools from the island. I still haven't put them back. We're all at the table now for there are no stools at the island, and hell would freeze over before the boys brought them up from the basement without anyone asking. So I enjoy the togetherness once again. :p But to answer your question.......... one of my most favorite and rewarding jobs was when I was a CNA in a nursing home as a teenager. I *LOVED* caring for the elderly. While working in a nursing home SHOULD dull the senses, my senses actually became SUPER sensitive. All these years later (I'm 45) I still have extreme issues with my sensitive nose. But when Mom comes to stay with us (she has colitis and is dependent on me to toilet/clean/change her ........ and she's incontinent) I can truly have...... *issues* I do breathe through my nose and refuse to think about what I'm doing, but on Christmas morning I almost threw up while helping her, and almost completely lost control of my bladder in the process. I said ALMOST. So I was just......... damp. It's kind of a mind over matter thing. But I still hate those noises at the dinner table.................. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeanne in MN Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 YES! You might be wierded out but this really works, and you did ask for help. www.tapping.com Works on fears and annoyances. I used it on DDs voice (she yells everything!) and I also used it b/c I couldn't stand the smell of my mom's hairspray. It is a mind/body connection technique. I've so used this! The person I learned it from though calls it EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique. I was having panic attacks. A therapist helped me too, but when I'd start to panic, I'd start tapping and I'd immediately start to calm down. It really is helpful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tibbyl Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Gosh. I don't know. I did notice it early on, but we had kids right away, and meals were chaotic for a long time and there were distractions. Then for years I worked through dinner, and it's only been recently that we're sharing breakfast and dinner. I think he's much louder now, though, than when we met. Why? What are ya thinkin'? If it was a recent development, I wondered if it may be a physical problem instead of etiquette problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natalieclare Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Have you seen the movie Enchanted April? One of the things that endeared this movie to me was the perfectly nailed scene in which Lottie and Milesh (sp?) are eating dinner. She is so discouraged with her life, and he is blithely unaware. The camera pans in on his chewing, sloppily chewing, smacking, juicy lips. When I first saw that scene, I thought, "that had to have been shot by a woman!" I know sooooo many woman who hate to hear their husbands chew, but it's usually when there is a generally high level of irritation anyway. Got any unresolved issues??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Wow. I wish my kids were quiet enough during meal time that I could hear anyone chew... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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