JennifersLost Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Aaaargh - is this just post-holiday behavior or what? I'm feeling very uncharitable towards one kid in particular, but all my boys are doing this to some extent: Doing the LEAST possible amount of work they can squeak by with and making me police every last thing they do or it gets even worse. I know, I know - they're kids and it's my job to police them, but my goodness - could they not just grow up already? My 13 year old just took well over a half hour to wash and dry 10 cups and drinking glasses. I am not kidding you. I could do it in five. He had to wash them twice because he washed them after lunch, I went to get a glass out and it was filthy. Every time I pull out a dish these days it's filthy and I'm JUST FURIOUS. When I made him do it a second time he started crying. FOR GOD'S SAKES. (And I didn't even say, "I'll give you something to cry about. LOL.) Can I just sell them now to someone who needs farmhands. Can they come back in four years all clean-cut, well-behaved and with positive attitudes? Please? GRRRRRRRRRRR! All right. I'm over it. Sort of. Any advice would be appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Keep plugging. It sounds like you are doing the right thing. It is just hard to keep being consistent when instead you want to bang someone's head against a wall (not necessarily your own). :banghead: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 LOL! I know the feeling - I often want to just do the job myself! But when they complain about how long something will take, I just tell them, "I can do it in ___ minutes. If it takes you that long, you really need more practice. So you get to do _____ for the next week so you can learn to do it more quickly". Funny, they usually get it done much sooner than they expected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 My 13yo is a handful at the moment. I alternate being the mean mum, making him do the dishes again (must be a 13yo thing!) and hugging him and loving him to bits. I know they speak and almost look like big people- but they really arent yet. They still needs lots of parenting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura K (NC) Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Two big projects due tomorrow (Sunday), and he's had months and months to do them. I remind him every day. This weekend I remind him every few hours. He chats with friends, he plays piano, he goes over a friend's house... and there's a big event tonight he wanted to go to. The work wasn't done, so he's here doing it, mad at me. MAD at ME! lol. Well, I'm sort of lol. It's so frustrating, and my 15yo ds is even worse. Wants to be a grownup in the worst way, but needs his hand held for every little thing, tries to get away with the least effort possible, and gets mad when I check his work. I should trust him, lol. Not yet, buddy. Hey, thanks for starting this thread, er, bandwagon. I feel better. :D And then there's my 12yo ds. Wait, he's still an angel yet. I can hardly wait until he turns 13! :svengo: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vida Winter Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Aaaargh - is this just post-holiday behavior or what? I'm feeling very uncharitable towards one kid in particular, but all my boys are doing this to some extent: Doing the LEAST possible amount of work they can squeak by with and making me police every last thing they do or it gets even worse. I know, I know - they're kids and it's my job to police them, but my goodness - could they not just grow up already? My 13 year old just took well over a half hour to wash and dry 10 cups and drinking glasses. I am not kidding you. I could do it in five. He had to wash them twice because he washed them after lunch, I went to get a glass out and it was filthy. Every time I pull out a dish these days it's filthy and I'm JUST FURIOUS. When I made him do it a second time he started crying. FOR GOD'S SAKES. (And I didn't even say, "I'll give you something to cry about. LOL.) Can I just sell them now to someone who needs farmhands. Can they come back in four years all clean-cut, well-behaved and with positive attitudes? Please? GRRRRRRRRRRR! All right. I'm over it. Sort of. Any advice would be appreciated. All I can say is, our oldest two are boys, and they are grown men now, and now puberty is starting with the girls. The boys were so much easier than the girls. And yes I wanted to send the boys away for 4 years, too, and the girls are still way, way, way harder. Sorry for what you're going through, and maybe even sorrier for myself! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jlq4 Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Sometimes I think aliens have snatched my 13yo ds brain. One moment he can be so mature, and the next he acts like a 6yo that has no self control. I do the same thing as Cynthia. If my sons (the other ds is almost 10yo) don't do a job correctly, they are given the privilage of practicing the job until they can consistently get it right. My 13yo had some homework today and decided he wanted to wait until tonight to do it. Never mind that he lounged around alllll dayyyy! I of course told him I thought it would be better to get it done this morning, but noooo we have to wait until 8:00p.m. to start. He is driving me crazy with school too, sometimes he just does enough to get by. He then looks so surprised :w00t: when he has to do it over. My husband said he remembers doing the same thing and it wasn't until hs that he started applying himself. We have always stressed the importance of education and the importance of striving for excellence in everything you do, but I feel like I'm talking to a wall. I know this will pass. I want to say, "Grow up," but I know he still needs our guidance and I'm not ready for him to be an adult just yet. Anyway, you're not alone. Thanks for posting, it was good to vent a little. Joy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 (edited) Well...ok. lol My 15 yr old takes a bit to do what I ask of him. (Unload dishwasher, put clothing away etc). But he does other things easily, like feed his dog & cat & work on his music fi. He was not the most perfect hser, although he was happy to get some time from 'the grind'. Now that he is in high school, he is an A/B+ honors level student (in all subkects), plus an excellent music ensemble leader. I can't tell you why or how. Unload diswasher: 30 minutes. Feed his kitty: 3 minutes. School music ensemble contributor: Beloved and spot-on. I can't answer any questions about why. lol Edited January 11, 2009 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 I often say "stop acting your age. Why don't you pretend you're 20!" Ds11 (who already acts like what you are describing) rolls his eyes at me but then he grins and often does act better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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