Prayers for Fil

[QueenCat]

We went through this with dh's dad. I lived in fear that he would kill someone in another car in an accident. And what that would cost dh's parents. It could easily wipe away their retirement funds. Let alone the criminal liability of involuntary manslaughter. Fil is now deceased but before he died, mil's attitude was that he enjoyed driving and no one should be able to take that away from him. He was in Texas.

My therapist called adult services in his county to report the issue but he passed a few weeks later, so they only had one visit from them, and were contacting the doctor to fill out paperwork to submit to the state. At that point, I didn't care if they knew I was behind it. What mattered was their safety AND the safety of others. 

[saraha]

Sil sent dh and bil an update just now. Fil is still feeling dizzy off and on throughout the day but especially in the evening/at night. She also called and left a message with both names she was given and put an ad on care.com! Maybe I scared her? Not sure why the change, but very grateful for it! Getting someone in regularly is better than nothing!

[Grace Hopper]

On 2/6/2024 at 10:42 AM, QueenCat said:

We went through this with dh's dad. I lived in fear that he would kill someone in another car in an accident. And what that would cost dh's parents. It could easily wipe away their retirement funds. Let alone the criminal liability of involuntary manslaughter. Fil is now deceased but before he died, mil's attitude was that he enjoyed driving and no one should be able to take that away from him. He was in Texas.

My therapist called adult services in his county to report the issue but he passed a few weeks later, so they only had one visit from them, and were contacting the doctor to fill out paperwork to submit to the state. At that point, I didn't care if they knew I was behind it. What mattered was their safety AND the safety of others. 

<edited for privacy>

Edited February 8 by Grace Hopper

[BusyMom5]

It's very hard to get the license taken away!  I would have DH call the doctor and let them know that a report needs to be made.  Given this diagnosis,  he may give some cognitive assessment at his next appt., then file the paperwork.   

Another option is to contact the local PD and ask.  Here, I think it had to be the highway patrol? 

What ended up happening in our case is he was caught driving the wrong direction on a divided highway- thankfully no one was hit! Highway Patrol took him home, wrote tickets,  and filed to revoke license. To get them back, he needed to pass all the tests again, which wouldn't happen.  

Other things we did- spark plug would dissappear ;) Keys would be misplaced  (and not always by us!!!  He lost his wallet over and over).  

[Harriet Vane]

Just adding an anecdote to the disabling-the-car stories:

When my grandma refused to stop driving, my brother not only disabled her car, he also put a note inside wherever it was that he disabled so that a mechanic would find the note and know not to fix the car. That way if Grandma was having a good day and got the car to a mechanic, the car would remain disabled. 

[Terabith]

On 2/6/2024 at 3:47 PM, BusyMom5 said:

It's very hard to get the license taken away!  I would have DH call the doctor and let them know that a report needs to be made.  Given this diagnosis,  he may give some cognitive assessment at his next appt., then file the paperwork.   

Another option is to contact the local PD and ask.  Here, I think it had to be the highway patrol? 

What ended up happening in our case is he was caught driving the wrong direction on a divided highway- thankfully no one was hit! Highway Patrol took him home, wrote tickets,  and filed to revoke license. To get them back, he needed to pass all the tests again, which wouldn't happen.  

Other things we did- spark plug would dissappear 😉 Keys would be misplaced  (and not always by us!!!  He lost his wallet over and over).  

This is so frustrating to me because I lost my license for six months because of being hospitalized for depression.  (And because I had filled out a change of address form right before that happened, and then answered yes to the are you on any meds question, and because the hospitalization was reported only because of the timing of the change of address, I lost my license.  It pisses me off no end, because my psychiatrist thought it was ridiculous and pointless and testified to that effect.  But it didn't matter.)

ETA:  The lesson I took from that is that I told my kids always, always lie to the DMV and tell them, "No, I am not on any medications."

Edited February 8 by Terabith

[KSera]

16 hours ago, Terabith said:

This is so frustrating to me because I lost my license for six months because of being hospitalized for depression.  (And because I had filled out a change of address form right before that happened, and then answered yes to the are you on any meds question, and because the hospitalization was reported only because of the timing of the change of address, I lost my license.  It pisses me off no end, because my psychiatrist thought it was ridiculous and pointless and testified to that effect.  But it didn't matter.)

ETA:  The lesson I took from that is that I told my kids always, always lie to the DMV and tell them, "No, I am not on any medications."

I didn’t know this was a thing! Was it the meds themselves or the hospitalization that caused the license suspension?

[Terabith]

2 hours ago, KSera said:

I didn’t know this was a thing! Was it the meds themselves or the hospitalization that caused the license suspension?

Hospitalization. It was a whole saga.  No doctor or hospital reported it, and my shrink testified that I was fine to drive.  But it didn’t matter.  

[saraha]

Wow, I am so sorry that happened to you!