Paige Posted June 4, 2023 Share Posted June 4, 2023 I'm considering offering to be the guardian for a mentally and physically disabled indigent elderly relative. I would need full POA for medical and financial decisions. It will probably not be friendly as the individual involved does not feel a guardian is needed- it's a symptom of the disability. The doctors say something has to be done but nobody is willing to do it and the situation is untenable. Some want to tell the state to find a public guardian and others insist a family member must step up. I'd like to ask someone who has BTDT what it may involve, the time and costs to set it up, and how disruptive it would be for our lives once established. I would also like to hear from anyone who has a family member who is under the care of a public guardian. Would that process actually move quicker and be in the best interests of the person involved? The sooner someone can make medical decisions for this person the better- like literally life/death although he is not currently hospitalized. We would not be having the individual move in with us- we live several states away. Social services has been 100% useless to the family so far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted June 4, 2023 Share Posted June 4, 2023 2 minutes ago, Paige said: I'm considering offering to be the guardian for a mentally and physically disabled indigent elderly relative. I would need full POA for medical and financial decisions. It will probably not be friendly as the individual involved does not feel a guardian is needed- it's a symptom of the disability. The doctors say something has to be done but nobody is willing to do it and the situation is untenable. Some want to tell the state to find a public guardian and others insist a family member must step up. I'd like to ask someone who has BTDT what it may involve, the time and costs to set it up, and how disruptive it would be for our lives once established. I would also like to hear from anyone who has a family member who is under the care of a public guardian. Would that process actually move quicker and be in the best interests of the person involved? The sooner someone can make medical decisions for this person the better- like literally life/death although he is not currently hospitalized. We would not be having the individual move in with us- we live several states away. Social services has been 100% useless to the family so far. It might help the relative to make a hard decision if they knew that public guardians can be a nightmare. Others have addressed that here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted June 4, 2023 Share Posted June 4, 2023 Guardianship requires yearly paperwork to say how you managed the persons money and a form for the court on how you interacted with the person and what their needs are and how you met them. some doctors require the guardian to be present at appointments while other let you phone in or allow staff from an assisted living, etc to bring the person in. for me costs are mostly of my time and energy as Social Security can be a lot of paperwork but likely less if the person is not working at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted June 4, 2023 Author Share Posted June 4, 2023 39 minutes ago, Ottakee said: Guardianship requires yearly paperwork to say how you managed the persons money and a form for the court on how you interacted with the person and what their needs are and how you met them. some doctors require the guardian to be present at appointments while other let you phone in or allow staff from an assisted living, etc to bring the person in. for me costs are mostly of my time and energy as Social Security can be a lot of paperwork but likely less if the person is not working at all. The plan would be to get him into a care facility that will take Medicaid. There are facilities family members have spoken with that will take him and somehow accept his social security and then get him Medicaid to cover the rest. But he refuses to go. He needs 24/7 skilled nursing. I thought maybe guardianship would be simpler because of this. There is no way he could work. I am a little concerned because I don’t want to be financially responsible myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BusyMom5 Posted June 4, 2023 Share Posted June 4, 2023 Someone closeby needs to do this, so if you are 4-5 hours away, I would say no unless you plan to move him closer to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaughingCat Posted June 4, 2023 Share Posted June 4, 2023 Is the person already in the process for guardianship or is it just a bunch of people saying this 'should' happen? Because my understanding is that it's a hard long (and potentially expensive) process to prove to the court that someone actually needs guardianship, even when they're making a lot of horrible decisions due to age-related issues. My understanding now is that if the person ends up in the hospital for anything, that is time to get them into 24/7 care (although from stories on here, even one person helping elder leave the hospital can end up with the person home again and ineligible -- which makes me extremely thankful to the county in-home PT who got my elder back to another hospital immediately and back in the system when we cluelessly believed hospital wouldn't discharge if wasn't ready to come home) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted June 4, 2023 Author Share Posted June 4, 2023 He is not in process anymore. It’s a very messy situation. 10 yrs ago the process was started and then someone ran off with him out of state. He was dropped off by that person a month or 2 ago with money/assets drained and health even poorer. The people who were originally seeking guardianship no longer can. Their own health has deteriorated. There’s no other closer local relatives. He’s not been a state resident for long so that complicates things. I don’t think we can wait for a long drawn out process. Can you get admitted to ER if caregivers say he’s diabetic and refuses to test or allow his blood sugar to be tested? He fell after wandering and the police just came to the home and told the caregivers where he was. They didn’t take him to the ER or anything. Sounds like any excuse to get him admitted is the way to go? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
City Mouse Posted June 4, 2023 Share Posted June 4, 2023 (edited) 7 hours ago, Paige said: Can you get admitted to ER if caregivers say he’s diabetic and refuses to test or allow his blood sugar to be tested? He fell after wandering and the police just came to the home and told the caregivers where he was. They didn’t take him to the ER or anything. Sounds like any excuse to get him admitted is the way to go? I remember your earlier post about this person. I don’t have any experience, but I have done lots research while dealing with my elderly parents. Going to ER and getting admitted to the hospital are 2 different things. As long as he is considered competent to make his own decisions (even if those are what other people would consider bad decisions), no one can force him to do anything including go to the ER. If he agreed to go to the ER, he would probably be treated with insulin in the ER. He is not likely to be admitted for an in-patient stay unless his blood sugar levels were extreme and not responding to the insulin given in the ER, but again he would have to be willing to stay. Any caregiver could call EMS at any time if they thought the person was in need of emergency care, but the person is free to refuse any and all medical treatment. Guardianship and POAs are also 2 different things. POA is him giving you permission to manage his affairs. If he will do it, he can give POA to anyone, but he can also revoke that at any time, so it doesn’t sound like POA would be of much benefit in this case. If you do have POA, and the later the person is declared to be not capable of making decisions, you would be able to do what needs to be done without seeking guardianship. It is hard to watch someone you care about make bad decisions that will shorten their life, but people do it every day. People are allowed to make decisions to smoke, drink, use illegal drugs, and refuse reasonable medical treatment. Having someone legally declared incompetent is a long and different process, and has (or at least should be) to be based on more than making “bad” decisions. Edited June 5, 2023 by City Mouse 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted June 4, 2023 Author Share Posted June 4, 2023 (edited) Don’t quote but: He is far from just making poor decisions. Edited June 10, 2023 by Paige 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted June 5, 2023 Share Posted June 5, 2023 That's heartbreaking. Any evidence you can gather that is documented is a good idea. Also it's a good idea to set up a full neuropsych assessment with someone who specializes in geriatrics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.