Social distancing and kids

[bethben]

Are kids not supposed to social distance right now?  We are in a state that is still slowly opening -- eat in restaurants are allowed to have 50% capacity, everyone is supposed to wear masks, no large social gatherings, social distancing at church which is just opening next week, the pool isn't open and when it does, people will have to reserve spots so they can keep social distancing -- well you get the picture.  We have a vulnerable disabled son at home.  My 13 year old daughter is an extreme extrovert--she tends to draw people toward her for fun.  Her main joy in life is being with other people.  We have had a HUGE problem with our neighborhood. Our daughter cannot ride her bike because inevitably, she starts playing with large groups of children in the grassy area.  If she goes in our front yard or our front porch, she  wanders over to the grassy area and plays with the large group of kids there or our house soon has kids hanging out on the front porch.  So, today, she asked to play with the next door neighbors after a week of only being able to play in our backyard.  We felt like this was OK since it kept things to a one point contact.  If they got the Corona Virus, we would know right away and would be able to quarantine my daughter easily.  I cannot do this with a whole neighborhood of shifting kids. So today, I made sure she knew to only play in our yard or the neighbors.  I go outside and there was a huge group of kids playing in the neighbors yard.  I know she's 13, but she's adopted and has the maturity of a child much younger and doesn't have the reasoning skills of a child her age.  I'm at the point that it almost becomes inevitable that she will be only able to play in our backyard until this thing blows over even more.  She has a lot of issues with following rules due to adoption issues and just being 13.  How can I not hate this summer?

 

BTW, the group of kids dispersed pretty quickly from the neighbor's yard when I called her in.  They are no longer there.  Apparently, my daughter is the attraction...

[bolt.]

First, it's lovely that your daughter is happy and doing fine. Second, it's wonderful that she has a magnetic personality and becomes the life of the party without even trying. Third, it's fantastic that you are an understanding, compassionate, and capable adoptive parent who is taking this challenge both seriously and kindly.

For me, I think you are right that the back yard is the best way to tame her micro-biologically inappropriate tendencies while still getting plenty of fresh air. Try not to view it as a problem or a punishment. It's just the best solution for the factors that exist. It's fine.

Another thing to consider is that if she *was* a 'much younger child', you wouldn't hesitate to get her some supervised play time with a friend or two (if you were comfortable with those particular friends being in your bubble). Supervising playdates sounds like something for 6yos not a teen like yours -- but it might be a reasonable choice, given the circumstances.

[Ottakee]

How are covid cases in your area?  

Could you invite a select neighbor girl to come over to play outside?

It can be so hard trying to balance the needs of more than one child 

[bethben]

Just now, Ottakee said:

How are covid cases in your area?  

Could you invite a select neighbor girl to come over to play outside?

It can be so hard trying to balance the needs of more than one child 

The covid cases have plateaued but are not going down in the day to day.  I guess all the demonstrations/protests will show whether or not we start rising in case count again.  In some ways, it has become an experiment in opening up our state completely.  We tried just having her play with the neighbors next door, but it has to be in our backyards.  That's not as much fun for her since we both have pretty small backyards (small trampolines aren't as much fun when you're a bigger kid - playground structure, same issue).  The kids get bored pretty quickly.  Stratego seems to be an attraction right now so that's a bonus.  

[prairiewindmomma]

Most of my kids’ friends are no longer social distancing.

We are continuing to social distance.

Does she have a similarly minded friend she can bring into your bubble? Ie—you guys socialize together, but no one else?

[bethben]

I think part of it is that we are just trying to wait out June and see how things are going overall.  We can't tell our daughter that yet since she'll be let down if the count starts rising again.  She goes back to school in August and they are even talking about how to keep kids away from each other there.  I feel like writing the governor and telling him what is happening all over our state with kids playing with each other now and how ridiculous it would be to do anything other that what is already happening.  

[Pen]

Masks? Games which distance the kids? If your daughter is the magnet, maybe that could help with some rule making for the group?  Gift masks to the group?