when is it worth looking for a different house

[KungFuPanda]

It's making more sense now.  You need a lot of bedrooms for a lot of people.  Around here, below grade space doesn't count towards square footage.  I was imagining 3000 square feet excluding the basement and was wondering WHY you'd choose a house at that price point that you didn't love.  Finding enough bedrooms in the normal, mid-range of family homes has to be a real challenge with all of the 3-4 bedroom places on the market.  

Can you throw some sheet vinyl over the expanse of tile to make your lives easier until you can figure something out? The tile is still there for resale, but the vinyl is so easy to live with and maintain.

Edited December 9, 2019 by KungFuPanda

[prairiewindmomma]

I've been pondering your thread for several days, caedmyn, because I had similar serious house frustrations several years ago when I was in the midst of little kid parenting.  I've been trying to reflect back, in my own life, if I could separate how much of that was just the difficulties of dealing with lots of littles with very little support and my own needs very much unmet and how much of that was true house difficulties.

I've been thinking about that because the things that drive you crazy are the things that drove me crazy. I was dealing with unmedicated ADD in my kids at the time, and my kids required a lot of direct follow-up in order to get anything accomplished with them. They had sensory issues (and I have sensory issues) and stepping on sticky or crunchy spots on the floor drove me up the wall.

I'm not saying that you don't have legitimate gripes about your home. I'm not saying that at all. I'm just wondering, given all of the dynamics in your home, including a reluctant/unsupportive dh, what is actually immediately fixable to you to help you get into a better place to cope with the rest. 

If the #1 thing that drives you insane is that your kids get things out and string them everywhere (the storage closets example), then put locks on the closets, and store away everything you can into them.  If the #1 thing is that your floors get full of crumbs, then lock up the food and sweep after every meal.  Allow only water between meals.  Whatever that thing is that is driving you insane, then deal with that.

But I would also advise you that I think a very good chunk of this is learning to deal with your emotions in the midst of all of your situation. Perhaps not a lot in your situation can change.  There's been a lot of ideas tossed out here on the boards that haven't been acceptable to your family. So, perhaps, working on caring for YOU is the most important piece of this. A couple of years ago, I chose to put my kids into public school for a time, and while some of those reasons were kid-based, a lot of the decision was me-based. I simply needed a break to allow my health to recover.  It has been very, very, very good for my mental health to get a break from some challenging dynamics.  

[Lawana]

I would suggest something like Flor carpet tiles to cover all the travertine, including the kitchen. I have lived with it over hardwood and cement with small children and over laminate with pets. The edges do not need any kind of treatment and never curl up.  Easy to vacuum and spot clean. Individual tiles can be replaced if stained beyond hope. No tripping hazard. They are not cheap, but are easy enough to self install so no labor cost. Would also help deaden sound. 

[rebcoola]

11 hours ago, KungFuPanda said:

Wait, why would a house with over 3000 sq ft have a master bedroom that small? (I just put the two posts together.) I don’t think I understand this house at all. 

Our 3600sq ft house started out as a regular.  1200sq ft house in the 60's and has been added onto.  So the mb and other original parts are small by todays standard. 

The visual check in is why we have the Alexa spot and they don't have to answer we can just drop in and see what's going on.   We use this in the rec room they have the non screen kind in their rooms except the baby.

I agree that you should choose the one thing that is bugging you the most and find a solution.  

Edited December 9, 2019 by rebcoola

[katilac]

26 minutes ago, Lawana said:

I would suggest something like Flor carpet tiles to cover all the travertine, including the kitchen. I have lived with it over hardwood and cement with small children and over laminate with pets. The edges do not need any kind of treatment and never curl up.  Easy to vacuum and spot clean. Individual tiles can be replaced if stained beyond hope. No tripping hazard. They are not cheap, but are easy enough to self install so no labor cost. Would also help deaden sound. 

These look brilliant!