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Hunter: Glad to "see" you


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I saw you posted on another thread & didn't want to derail it. I've missed your down-to-earth advice, interesting challenges, and so much more. 

Sorry that something "bad" happened to allow you time on here, but I consider it "good" to see you.

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It is good to be back. Once a homeschooler, always a homeschooler. LOL. 

Going to college was fun, and it was NOT my choice to leave temporarily or permanently, but I am enjoying self-education. I am like a little kid in a candy store. I am making the best of THIS and grateful for THIS, and see the whole of the "bad" and the "good" as a package deal. I missed you all and I missed LEARNING. 

Me going to college was a bit like a picture book of a cartoon character going to school. LOL. I am SOOO glad that I went! It was an experience for me, and probably for others too. LOL. I doubt I will be going back until at least fall, if ever. I have to wait and see what happens now. Sometimes I just watch my life like a TV show and try not to get too involved and attached, as crazy as that sounds.

A lot happened before I went. A lot happened while I was there. I expect a lot to keep happening. That is the pattern of MY life. Stuff happens. Period.

I love you guys! I missed you!

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Hunter, you are dear to me.  Hugs! 

I'm having more time on the boards now, too, because of Ungraceful Church Disaster.  Oh my.  Painful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone; but I did my own best, prayed through it all (though probably not enough!) and have learned so much.  I may borrow your idea of watching at least part of my life happen as if it were on TV!

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15 hours ago, serendipitous journey said:

Hunter, you are dear to me.  Hugs! 

I'm having more time on the boards now, too, because of Ungraceful Church Disaster.  Oh my.  Painful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone; but I did my own best, prayed through it all (though probably not enough!) and have learned so much.  I may borrow your idea of watching at least part of my life happen as if it were on TV!

 

Church disasters can be more ungrounding and confusing than the death of a loved one. They can shake our faith. And if our faith was the CENTER of our life, sometimes we do not know how to move forward. We can sit frozen, bewildered, and not know where to place our feet.

To someone that does not CENTER their life on their church or faith, they are unlikely to understand the momentousness of a church disaster in the lives of some Christians.

No matter what comes next, I was meant to lose my faith. I could not have learned what I have learned with faith. I was just thinking tonight that it was about 15 years ago, maybe a little more, that I prayed, "Please make me useful." That is a dangerous prayer! One I have regretted. Even during periods of zero faith, I usually retained some belief that prayer changed something, and NOT for the more comfortable.

The world is a bigger and deeper place than most humans travel. The lucky ones skim a small place shallowly. They can live fully in that small shallow place. When you get too deep and wide, there is too much to take in at once. The answer keys disappear. You have to FLY by the seat of your pants, gliding where the wind takes you. You have to learn to SURF the waves, not try and control them, or even control where you go. There are rewards for the travelers, deep and high, that the comfortable do not get to experience at their shallow level. Moments of mountaintop sunsets and peeks at underground caves. On the hardest days, just remember there is an after. But while still there, stop and look for the beauty. It is there. Your reward for being there. Rewards that you can miss if you limit yourself to staying within the answer keys designed for those living at the shallow depths.

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