I'm weak.

[Jenny in Florida]

I'm having one of those days (weeks, months) when I wonder if rigorous/classical homeschooling is really worth it.

 

The year started off so well, and we had such a good last year, too, that I guess I was lulled into complacency. Now, here we are in our 12th week of a 30-week academic year. We are as much as two weeks behind in some subjects and just. Not. Getting. Anything. Done.

 

I know it's ridiculous, because I wrote those lesson plans. So, I have the power to wave my magic wand and change them. No stress. No problem. Right?

 

Except it's not right. I wrote those plans based on a lot of research and careful thought because I believe this is what my son should be doing this year. And it just drives me crazy that he's not getting it done.

 

And for the last few days, I've had this insane urge to just chuck it all and switch to an unschooling approach. I mean, when I add up what he's doing "for fun" and the schoolwork that he doesn't mind doing, it's still a lot for a kid his age. And maybe that should just be enough? You know?

 

[insert heavy sigh here.]

 

Okay, I know I don't mean it.

 

Right?

[Pink Fairy]

:grouphug: Yes, you're weak, and so am I. In fact, we're all weak. We love our kids and do our best to be perfect hsing moms, and yet, we remain stubbornly imperfect, as do our children.

 

Two weeks behind doesn't sound outrageous to me. I wouldn't give up before I tried modifying things. I spent the entire summer researching and planning, and I think it's made our school year the best so far. But, I've had to make some changes, because my children's differing abilities meant that some needed more work, some needed less than I had originally thought.

 

Hang in there! :grouphug:

[dragons in the flower bed]

And for the last few days, I've had this insane urge to just chuck it all and switch to an unschooling approach. I mean, when I add up what he's doing "for fun" and the schoolwork that he doesn't mind doing, it's still a lot for a kid his age. And maybe that should just be enough? You know?

 

(((Jenny))) All plans are ideals, subject to reality. Look at the reasons he's falling behind, and decide if there's anything you did wrong, anything you would have changed. Did you visit sick relatives? Did a child take on a self-directed project? Or did you get caught up in message boards and not get to doing schoolwork? (Don't ask me why I know that last sometimes happens.) If the reasons you are not on schedule are good reasons, call the falling behind good. It is good that he's getting a customized to-the-day education. If there's something you need to change in your lives so that you get more done, change that so it supports your goals, rather than canning the goals.

 

Part of the effectiveness of homeschooling is that it's flexibility allows children to have balanced lives. Balanced lives are healthier, and healthy lives are educational. It's not just the schoolwork that causes classically homeschooled children to thrive. It's also the pushing schoolwork away that sometimes occurs during the weighing of goals against daily plans, the adjusting, the participating in a real life like the ones grown-ups lead in which they sometimes fall behind and sometimes speed ahead.

 

Balancing requires some wobbling, some moving around, always, even with an awesome plan. It's okay. It's good.

[Obi-Mom Kenobi]

Classical homeschooling is a great method. Your annual planner is a great tool, but it's only a tool. You'll never stay perfectly on schedule. Kids get sick. Stuff comes up. Learning is slower than you thought it would be. Life happens whether we plan for it or not. Do what you can and know that it's probably more than they'd learn if they were one of 25 in a classroom dictated by everyone else's pace, a few kids needs and high-stakes testing..

 

And if you must, chuck it all and go unschool. Love those kids. Play. Build. Read aloud as long as they'll let you. Your kids will learn a ton, but probably not sentence diagramming or Latin. ;)

[Jenny in Florida]

good[/i]. It is good that he's getting a customized to-the-day education. If there's something you need to change in your lives so that you get more done, change that so it supports your goals, rather than canning the goals.

 

I think it's a combination of several things. First, we took a few unscheduled days off to go visit my daughter. In theory, that should have put us no more than one week behind, because we should have been able to do at least a half week of school on either end.

 

However, this unscheduled break happened to occur right after my son finished performing in a ballet, which I had not known he would be in when I planned the year. We did just fine keeping up through the regular rehearsals, but started struggling to keep up when performance week (with the accompanying late-night tech and dress rehearsals) rolled around.

 

And, even during the days "off," we did things that most folks would consider educaitonal. We went to New York, dropped in at the Metropolitan Museum where we did a whirlwind tour of the Egyptian wing and saw the reconstructed temple and tomb. We also did a tour of Lincoln Center (where the tour guide was so excited to have theatre kids in the group that she took us through all four theatres, instead of the usual three). So, it wasn't like the days off were a loss. But we weren't doing my planned curriculum.

[laurad1125]

When was the last time you took a break?

 

:iagree:

 

This work we do is HARD and TIRING and UNRELENTING and IMPORTANT and MESSY. It gets overwhelming and we get behind. We need breaks. DH gets sick days, vacation days, even occasionally mental health days. We deserve them to (I actually took a mental health day today) It's OK.:grouphug:

 

I've been operating lately on the 80/20 principle. 20% of the work will get 80% of the result and 80% results is probably enough. Almost always, it's enough. And accepting the 80% makes EVERYTHING a lot easier.

[Jenny in Florida]

:iagree:

 

This work we do is HARD and TIRING and UNRELENTING and IMPORTANT and MESSY. It gets overwhelming and we get behind. We need breaks. DH gets sick days, vacation days, even occasionally mental health days. We deserve them to (I actually took a mental health day today) It's OK.

 

Well, it depends on what you mean by "break." In terms of actual, whole days off, I don't remember when the last one was. In addition to our regular homeschooling schedule, my son has out-of-the-house activities every day of the week except Monday. And, with the exception of his once-monthly model rocket club, I drive him to and from all of them. I also volunteer in his Sunday school classroom and backstage at various performances.

 

We did go on vacation (see my note about New York above), but that was truly exhausting. We drove 12.5 hours to get to Virginia, picked up our daughter, and drove another 7 hours to New York. (I do most of the driving.) We were in the city for four days, during which I never slept more than 7 hours per night because we had the days so packed with sightseeing. Then we did the return trip (New York to Virginia to Florida).

 

I do get some down time while my son is in classes and rehearsals, although I often use that time for errands and shopping. For example, this past Saturday, he had ballet rehearsals scheduled for five hours in the afternoon. I dropped him of and ran to the craft store and pet supply store and library. I then went back to the dance school, where I read and listened to music for a couple of hours. So, that's something, right?

 

So, while I agree in theory that I have a right to and a need for "breaks," the reality is that it's not usually practical to take them.

[sagira]

(((Jenny))) All plans are ideals, subject to reality. Look at the reasons he's falling behind, and decide if there's anything you did wrong, anything you would have changed. Did you visit sick relatives? Did a child take on a self-directed project? Or did you get caught up in message boards and not get to doing schoolwork? (Don't ask me why I know that last sometimes happens.) If the reasons you are not on schedule are good reasons, call the falling behind good. It is good that he's getting a customized to-the-day education. If there's something you need to change in your lives so that you get more done, change that so it supports your goals, rather than canning the goals.

 

Part of the effectiveness of homeschooling is that it's flexibility allows children to have balanced lives. Balanced lives are healthier, and healthy lives are educational. It's not just the schoolwork that causes classically homeschooled children to thrive. It's also the pushing schoolwork away that sometimes occurs during the weighing of goals against daily plans, the adjusting, the participating in a real life like the ones grown-ups lead in which they sometimes fall behind and sometimes speed ahead.

 

Balancing requires some wobbling, some moving around, always, even with an awesome plan. It's okay. It's good.

 

Great post, Rose.

[Laura R (FL)]

I'm not sure how pertinent this will be your situation, but I have noted through the years that for myself and others, October and February seem to be hot "burnout" months. Is it possible that you have just hit a speedbump in the year? When I question "if it's worth it", I write down all the reasons why I'm doing this and then re-read them on those hard days. I've had to adjust weeks plenty of times, and even extended into planned vacations.

[HappyGrace]

a six-week on, one-week off to unschool type of thing, but the week "off" she still requires things, it's just unstructured and child-led, but she makes up a list of what they have to pick from. Sounded to me like the best of both worlds.

 

Even if you can't make it work for this year because your plans are set, it's something to think about for another time.

 

I remember now! It was Tami-here's the link to what her "week off" would look like (which is more than what I get done in a regular week ;), but anyway, my point is it's more child-led, but with nice parameters.)

http://www.keepandshare.com/doc/view.php?id=186994&da=y

[Mama Lynx]

Rose, Obi-Mom and Cadam have said everything I was going to say :)

 

Plus ... you are BUSY! I have learned, the hard way, that if I don't enforce breaks, we all end up going insane. I hate breaks. I want to forge ahead with my schedule, my curriculum, my plans. But we are so much better when I force myself to let us have them.

 

I've also learned that it works best when I schedule about 36 weeks of schoolwork, and then allow us to take all year to do them. Just in case :) If we get finished in 36 weeks, that's great! We can have time off, or do something special, or even get a jump on next year. And if we don't, that's fine, too. And you have done some wonderful things in your time this year - the ballet, the Met!

 

It's frustrating, but you *are* doing well. Promise. It will be okay.

[Peela]

That's why I try not to be too specific in my planning. I plan 10 weeks ahead, but only in certain things am I specific. Most things are "1 chapter", " 3 lessons a week" type of generalities which allow a bit of flexibility. If I want a book finished in the 10 weeks so that we can move on next term, I am likely to prioritise that book each week to make sure it is done- but I only have a few things each term that have this kind of schedule. For us, maths, English, Latin etc are not rigidly programmed- they are just "do a lesson a day", so if we miss a day, or can only complete half a lesson, we don't get behind.

I find if I am too specific, I get down on myself, I stress, I stress the kids out, and it doesn't leave me the flexibility to take some time off here and there for sickness, cleaning house, mental health days, whatever.

For me, finding a balance between structure and flexibility has been an ongoing journey, but this is what is working for me at present. Yes, we could have packed more into our year if I had kept to a rigid schedule- or even done everything that is on my planning sheets- but we have still had a good year, everyone has made progress in all areas, we have read a lot of books (even if we dropped a couple due to lack of interest in them). We haven't finished our maths books- well, what to do. We have worked consistently and some days the child was too overwhelmed to complete a whole lesson- the child is more important than finishing the book.

I think it is important not to put "finishing work" above the whole process of enjoying the journey, of finding a steady routine and rythm, and adjusting for your own lifestyle and life. Things are going to come up. If you are always feeling guilty, its not such a nice way to live.Its not weak to not be able to maintain your own high ideals. Of course, people fall to either extreme of a healthy balance- and some people could benefit from more structure- but if the structure is too much, life loses its juice around here. Its not about pleasing anyone else, after all.