Guest Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 But if I sell a product or service, it's because I really believe in that product or service, and so of course I would want my friends to be introduced to it, as well. And I would probably talk about it more than once, because people forget. Goodness knows that Proctor & Gamble nag us all the time to buy their products... Yes, but Proctor & Gamble is not exploiting a personal friendship to get you to buy laundry soap. The "True Believer" in essential oils or special vitamins or Arbonne makeup rank very high on the list of people who annoy their friends and family the most, just slightly beneath the religious evangelist who can't shut up about their faith and/or their church. The True Believer turns every conversation into something to do with their thing. If you say, "Traffic was horrible and I am totally exhausted..." Sharing this remark with your True Believer friend is going to start the sales tape of, "I used to feel that way every day, until I started taking Juice Brothers Run-Down Mom Formula Smoothies! That's why I became a consultant because it made such a difference in my life!" Or whatever their panacea happens to be. When P&G tells me I should want their cleaning spray because it kills germs on my countertops, there's nothing personal there. I can change the channel, close my ears, keep right on cleaning the way I already do, never buy their products as long as I live - anything! I don't risk upsetting anyone by not succumbing to the regular product advertising I'm bombarded with on a daily basis. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmseB Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 But if I sell a product or service, it's because I really believe in that product or service, and so of course I would want my friends to be introduced to it, as well. And I would probably talk about it more than once, because people forget. Goodness knows that Proctor & Gamble nag us all the time to buy their products... I am not friends with P&G. I don't feel guilty saying no to them. I don't feel obligated to them in anyway. Advertising is not the same thing as continually asking your friends to buy stuff from you. It just isn't. Personal relationships where one party is asking for money are not the same as an ad on TV that I can ignore or turn off. I can't ignore my friends. I love them. That puts me in an awkward position when they want to sell me stuff, particularly stuff I have no interest in. Particularly when they take it personally that I don't want to follow them on FB or host a party. Particularly when they mention it over and over again. You may not think it's awkward to mention it over and over again because you assume I forgot you sell stuff, but it is. /ahem. Sorry. Just have some pent up emotion on this topic. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 But if I sell a product or service, it's because I really believe in that product or service, and so of course I would want my friends to be introduced to it, as well. And I would probably talk about it more than once, because people forget. Goodness knows that Proctor & Gamble nag us all the time to buy their products... I sell a product, and while when I first had success with it I did say to my mom and my sister how pleased I was with it, I never ever promoted it to anyone in my real life, even once. SIL tried to order the product once (we have a shop on Etsy) and I refunded and sent her the product for free, because selling things to family is weird to me. If my business depended on selling to friends or family (or even if it could potentially constitute 1% of my sales) I'd be broke. If friends or family are in need of fabric labels or name tags, I just make and send them for free. That said, we have a pretty niche product that isn't really an impulse purchase - you either need it or you don't. Most people most of the time don't. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 I personally think the ultimate point of etiquette is to show consideration for other people feelings. So it's kinda ironic that the etiquette teacher seems to be so obtuse about yours. Maybe you could ask her what the etiquette is for refusing invitations to unwanted etiquette classes 😂 Not really. I hate when people try to make money from friends and family. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Are you coming? "No, thank you." Why not? "I don't want to. Have a wonderful evening. See you!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Is it bad my brain goes to, "maybe the friend gets a cut?" lol. Who knows. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
38carrots Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 I do think she does not feel that she could intentionally NOT invite me because these invitations are distributed in a scoail setting and that would be odd or awkward, I suppose, if she gave invitations to five people in the room but gave me none. So, Unless she resorts to only giving out the invitations individually to people she knows will probably come, she probably does figure there's no tactful way to not give me one. If I were more direct about it, I would be making something awkward for her. What I personally don't like about the concept is that it makes the friendship seem so mercenary. If I did start an organizing business, I would search for clientelle from "cold" sources; in fact, I did run a residential cleaning company in the past and my clientelle was entirely from "cold" sources; none of my clients were initially friends whome I mined for revenue. Yes, I am the one with the idea of a professional listener service; I still think that is a great idea. I would not circulate amongst my existing friends, handing them cards and saying, "If you ever need a friend who wil listen non-judgementally and in full confidence....just go to my on-line scheduler and pick a time slot. I have a Paypal button if you want to pre-pay your session and I'll even give you my 20%- off Friends and Family rate!" of course I would not do this to my existing friends, because I like to think I listen non-judgementally and in full confidence to my friends for free. The point of the business would be that some people need that but have no friend they could trust not to gossip, back-stab or pull away based on what was said. ITA with the bolded. It is kind of you not to make it awkward for her. It might be hard to remain friends, though. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janeway Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Just ignore her emails. She is selling a product and you are not interested. If she gets too pushy, then drop her as a friend. Also, separate to if her emails or if the other friend's pestering is what is bothering you. Because it might be the other friend that needs to be let go. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Is it bad my brain goes to, "maybe the friend gets a cut?" lol. Who knows. Lol, well anything's possible, but I don't think that's the case. Those two are similar kinds of people and also are not fussed about expenses much. The other friend does a lot of home party type things and I think just doesn't have an issue with that whole set-up. I think she sees it as helping her friend boost her business in the same way as she thinks she's helping her sister boost her party sales MLM business. She also has her own small business (travel agent) she recently started and I think she is expecting the etiquette friend will scratch her back with travel recs in return for her back-scratching of the etiquette classes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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