TraciWA Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 would you consider yourselves happier? My husband and I are the poor relatives in our family. Mainly because we decided to forego a second income to have me stay at home to educate our kids. We consider ourselves pretty happy. And feel that we don't have the added stress and worry about "having it all" and taking care of and accumulating all the "stuff" that others have. And yet we are still misunderstood. How about you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmamainva Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 *I* think we are! I have one brother and his family's as broke as we are, so no issues there! ;) But my hubby has 3 sisters and all 3 work full-time jobs, as do their husbands. They all live in million dollar houses and have maid service to keep it clean. Their children have been in day care since they were 6 weeks old and they're either still in day care, or they're in public school. I have been a stay-at-home mom since my oldest was born 17 1/2 years ago (in the beginning, I did have a part-time job for a few years, while my hubby got his business up and running, but my schedule was flexible so that either myself or my hubby was with our daughter). I feel like I know my kids...and I enjoy my kids. You ought to listen to my sister-in-laws complain during Christmas break and during the summer, when they have to spend more time with their children. :rolleyes: Would I like to make a six-figure salary, live in a million dollar house, and have a maid service? Not really (although there are days when I feel otherwise!). But I don't have to "keep up with the Jones" either....and I like that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 would you consider yourselves happier? My husband and I are the poor relatives in our family. Mainly because we decided to forego a second income to have me stay at home to educate our kids. We consider ourselves pretty happy. And feel that we don't have the added stress and worry about "having it all" and taking care of and accumulating all the "stuff" that others have. And yet we are still misunderstood. How about you? BINGO! That's us! It's funny.....dh has a sister, I have no living siblings. The sun has always rose and set on my SIL, and my dear dh is chopped liver. SIL has a big, new house, we bought my parents' big, old Victorian and lovingly restore it as we are able. It's gorgeous---quarter-sawn oak woodwork, a butler's pantry, seven bedrooms and a carriage barn. We adore our house, and homeschool rather than sell it and move to a town with a better school system. But the in-laws are ga-ga over SIL's house, and brag to all the other family members about it. We only have one child, a sweet, kind, loving dd who is 11. SIL and her husband both work full time and have two, a ds(5) and a dd(2.) They are miserable, spoiled, horribly-behaved children who are demanding and disruptive and generally are not pleasant to be around. They are not ever told "no" and it shows. Yet the inlaws carry only pictures of THEM in their wallets because "They're cuter; Molly's at that akward stage." We constantly hear from the in-laws about the hot tub that SIL bought, the vacations they are planning, and how much money they have invested. We do just fine, but we did make a sacrifice to have me stay home and teach dd. But yeah.....it makes us NUTS sometimes. The hurtful things they've done and said over the years could fill a book. But then I just think about how, when the in-laws are aged and infirm, I'm sure they'll rather be living with SIL and BIL rather than us. ;) Sorry.....I know how much it hurts, and how infuriating it can be. :grouphug: astrid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I believe so, I know my sister is stressed being home on maternity leave and is already anxious to get back to work, mainly because their lifestyle needs 2 working people to maintain. My brother and his gf stress over money a lot, they have way more than me but they want a certain lifestyle that requires even more money. My parents have always put working/money over family and my sister and brother seem to be following that and it is stressing them out. I onthe other hand have put family over money and while my kids do cause a certain level of stress (mainly due to their special needs) I think that over all I am happier than them with my choices. They seem more stressed out over my financial situation than I am, because to them you are only successful if you make X amount of money and I don't base success on income, so they see me not only as poorer but an out right failure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabrett Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Very interesting question. Dh is the poorer sibling. His brother is a doc. I made a comment on how I thought recovery after my 4th baby was born was harder than the rest. My SIL also has 4 kids, but replied, rather snipply, that at least my dh was home with me. I was a little taken back by her reply. She has a house cleaner, babysitters, her children are all in daycare or private school and my MIL watched her kids for a week after her dc was born. She did have a c-sections, but she had soooo much help I was a little shocked by her comment. On top of being a doc, her dh is on a fishing team and is gone a lot. Having my dh home doesn't mean he takes over the household when I'm sick or recovering. It mostly goes undone or I just get up and do it myself. My family lives faraway and can't help. My SIL has everything she wants. She and her dc dress in very expensive clothes. Last year she bought all her kids a new ipod video. Her dc were ages 2, 4 and 6! That was a waste of a present IMHO. But what else do you get dc who have everything? How a person could be jealous over people who don't have very much is....Well I just don't understand. So, maybe my dh and I are happier.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lwilliams1922 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I left a 6 figure income 3 years ago when my middle child was born. You know it stinks that I don't have ANY money but I can't describe the joy I get from hugging my babies all day and home schooling my 8th grader. I feel a little worried when it comes to friends and family but truth be told they don't really have to understand. Most people probably don't even know how tight things are. Gifts this year to family and friends will be homemade soap. I think this is a better gift than any thing I could have purchased. I don't know what people will think but WE are very excited about our gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 I am the "rich" one (not really rich, though we are comfortably middle class) and I am happier than my siblings. It has nothing to do with our income. It has EVERYTHING to do with our choices and our values--choices and values that are not dependent upon income. Just wanted to point out it's not about whether or not a person has wealth, their choices and what they value are what make them happy (or not). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in Orlando Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 I am the "rich" one (not really rich, though we are comfortably middle class) and I am happier than my siblings. It has nothing to do with our income. It has EVERYTHING to do with our choices and our values--choices and values that are not dependent upon income. Just wanted to point out it's not about whether or not a person has wealth, their choices and what they value are what make them happy (or not). :iagree::iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zelda Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 I am the "rich" one (not really rich, though we are comfortably middle class) and I am happier than my siblings. It has nothing to do with our income. It has EVERYTHING to do with our choices and our values--choices and values that are not dependent upon income. Just wanted to point out it's not about whether or not a person has wealth, their choices and what they value are what make them happy (or not). So true. We are better off than some siblings and not as well off as others and we are varying degrees of happy that bear no relationship to our incomes. The happiness seems to have more to do with health and general outlook on life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 (edited) I don't know if we are poorer or not, but we spend less. My siblings are doctors/hosp.ad., or married to lawyers. Have beach homes, lake homes, etc. One brother is building a million dollar home on the lake, it's an amazing house but he'll be paying for it all his life, and he's a surgeon. Why?? One sister and one sil don't work, they just manage their kids,tell the cook what they want for supper, hire college kids to "tutor" their boys in sports, build houses, travel to antique stores, have lunches at the club, blah, blah....... One sister is strapped for money and she still breaks her neck to take the kids on vacations, buy them designer clothes, etc. Nuts. I'm probably a major embarrasment to them. I don't care much what I wear, we get our clothes at Walmart, I'm at least 30 lbs overweight (you should see the women in my family, cover girls every blessed one of them and that includes the sils.) I have chickens for %&$*'s sake. I never get my nails done. But we're still married, happily, and our kids are the ones that everyone loves to have over. They ask me for advice, (not that they ever listen, idjits, I could have them all straightened out in a jiffy.) So, you know? They make it and spend more than what they've got. Silly. Oh you know what gets me?? My mom and sister are terrified about money, but then they go on cruises and stuff. Insane. I just don't get it. Edited October 22, 2008 by Remudamom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohio12 Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 I think it depends too, on how MUCH poorer. We used to be a LOT poorer than many friends and some of the family and it did bother me. Now that we have some breathing room, I don't feel bad at all, even though they still have a lot more. For instance, if everyone can afford to go to the zoo or a restaurant but me, I feel bad. If everyone shows up in fancy cars to the zoo or a restaurant and I can afford to go but I am in a clunker, I don't care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 I am the "rich" one (not really rich, though we are comfortably middle class) and I am happier than my siblings. It has nothing to do with our income. It has EVERYTHING to do with our choices and our values--choices and values that are not dependent upon income. Just wanted to point out it's not about whether or not a person has wealth, their choices and what they value are what make them happy (or not). :iagree: Dh's brothers are all still very young (14-23) so they aren't making much money right now. My brother is single living in California and makes pretty much what my dh makes. He has more because he is single. I think I'm happier because I have my family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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