Social Media behavioral norms

[HS Mom in NC]

Has anyone else unfollowed/unfriended people only because they post things that say "Share/like/repost/type ________ if __________________?"

 

Has anyone else unfollowed/unfriended people only because they added you to a group on social media without your express permission?

 

Has anyone else unfollowed/unfriended people only because they were invited to a product party by someone who never socializes with them in real life otherwise?

 

I find those things rude on social media because they would be considered rude in real life. How exactly are people expected to respond when the latest trend or fad in social media behavior is unacceptable to them? Thoughts?

 

[Heart_Mom]

I just ignore posts like that, and if someone adds me to a group without asking me, I just leave the group. 

[Crimson Wife]

The first thing I consider annoying (equivalent of emailing a chain letter), but not enough to unfriend/unfollow someone. I scroll on by just like I would delete a chain email.

 

The second it would depend on the group. If it was something that I would've joined had I known about it, I don't mind. But generally, I prefer a message inviting me to join first.

 

The third would be reason to unfriend, but if I'm not socializing with them IRL ever, I'm probably not friends with them in the first place.

[marbel]

I will only unfollow someone if they continually post content I find objectionable. Most political commentary causes me to unfollow.  If a person continually posts that include a "share this post if..." sort of thing, I would probably unfollow.   If someone added me to a group I would most likely leave it.  That's only happened to me once, when a family member added me to a group dedicated to discussing an upcoming event to which I was invited.  So that was fine.  

 

I think the social norms are just different.   I think you are free to unfriend or unfollow anyone for any reason you choose.  

 

My facebook friends are family or friends I know, or used to know, in real life.  Only a few have annoyed me to the point of unfollowing.  I don't unfriend because sometimes I do want to peek at their page to see what's going on with them.  

 

 

[The Girls' Mom]

I've unfollowed for all of those behaviors.  I'm kind of over being constantly annoyed at people.  It is FB.  If they want a relationship with me, but can't stop sending me that junk, then knock on my door or call me.  Our FB relationship is pretty much done..lol.  

 

 

[Guest]

 

Has anyone else unfollowed/unfriended people only because they post things that say "Share/like/repost/type ________ if __________________?"

 

Has anyone else unfollowed/unfriended people only because they added you to a group on social media without your express permission?

 

Has anyone else unfollowed/unfriended people only because they were invited to a product party by someone who never socializes with them in real life otherwise?

 

I find those things rude on social media because they would be considered rude in real life. How exactly are people expected to respond when the latest trend or fad in social media behavior is unacceptable to them? Thoughts?

 

 

All of those things are pretty much what led me to leave Facebook in 2008. That's how I dealt with it. FB is a runaway train and nothing is going to change people's behavior on it. The easiest cure is to change platforms to one where you can deal better with the trends. I've been off almost NINE years now and only missed it about 48 hours. I have managed to function quite well without it and never get sucked into the whole comparison game or irritation with my friends over FB posts. 

 

People say that "oh well I can't leave FB because of XYZ (family contact, activities, etc.) but I have found that not to be true. I think it's an excuse because people fear being left out and are unwilling to push back.  People WILL accommodate you if they really value you, your friendship, business or whatever it may be. If they don't, well good riddance anyway. Don't be afraid to push back and say no if a certain platform is causing that much vexation!! 

[TranquilMind]

 

Has anyone else unfollowed/unfriended people only because they post things that say "Share/like/repost/type ________ if __________________?"

 

Has anyone else unfollowed/unfriended people only because they added you to a group on social media without your express permission?

 

Has anyone else unfollowed/unfriended people only because they were invited to a product party by someone who never socializes with them in real life otherwise?

 

I find those things rude on social media because they would be considered rude in real life. How exactly are people expected to respond when the latest trend or fad in social media behavior is unacceptable to them? Thoughts?

 

 

Nope.  I will hide a post that is offensive (a curse-filled rant, or naked junk, or something, not that this happens often, but I am in a few selling groups). 

 

I don't follow commands anyway.  I never share, like, or repost unless I feel like it, and am much less likely to do so if ordered.   I just ignore them. 

 

 

Edited January 9, 2017 by TranquilMind

[redsquirrel]

I wouldn't unfollow an actual friend or family member simply for expressing political views I don't agree with.  Friendship and family are bigger than political views.  Just posting their opinion is fine. It's their business and their wall or account or whatever, so they are free to do with it whatever they want.  It doesn't mean I'm going to do whatever it is they are asking. I'm not going to share/like/repost whatever it is unless I want to, no matter if I agree with it or not. If they aren't aggressive or whatever I'm not going to get upset. People are allowed to have an express opinions. I'm allowed to ignore them. I am also allowed to respond, and they may or may not like that as well. That is part of expressing yourself.

 

Adding to a group without asking me means I will leave said group.  If you are a "friend' as opposed to an actual friend, I will probably unfollow.  And if you are using access to me via social media just to sell me something, I will unfollow and not think twice about it. That is the fastest way to get me to unfollow.

[Farrar]

Only if it happens over and over again.

 

Honestly, if we're talking behavioral norms, I think the people who pitch tantrums about that stuff are just as petty as the people who are doing it. It's usually pretty easy to ignore - to leave the group or just not attend the party or share the thing they ask you to share.

[Guest]

All of those things are pretty much what led me to leave Facebook in 2008. That's how I dealt with it. FB is a runaway train and nothing is going to change people's behavior on it. The easiest cure is to change platforms to one where you can deal better with the trends. I've been off almost NINE years now and only missed it about 48 hours. I have managed to function quite well without it and never get sucked into the whole comparison game or irritation with my friends over FB posts.

 

People say that "oh well I can't leave FB because of XYZ (family contact, activities, etc.) but I have found that not to be true. I think it's an excuse because people fear being left out and are unwilling to push back. People WILL accommodate you if they really value you, your friendship, business or whatever it may be. If they don't, well good riddance anyway. Don't be afraid to push back and say no if a certain platform is causing that much vexation!!

I agree with all this except when you move a lot, absolutely nothing gets you access to classes, play groups, etc as easily as Facebook right now. It's just the nature of the beast ATM. I don't have a year to figure out where people go, when we'll be gone in two.

[zoobie]

The only two people on my feed who do that are really hurting, so I don't unfollow them. There are "real" posts in between the annoying ones.

 

The second--I don't think it's happened to me very frequently. If someone did it more than once, I would ask them to stop. After that, they might get unfriended. I have added a friend to a fabric group I kept talking about because my phone wouldn't copy the link. I messaged her and told her I added her. We are good enough friends where she would tell me to cut it out if it bothered her. 

[Farrar]

Maybe I would be more upset by these behaviors if I saw them a lot. I see them every once in awhile. Like, in the years I've been on FB, I think I've been invited to maybe half a dozen MLM parties if that and maybe another dozen free yoga/dance/art/meditation/whatever class the person is teaching as a teaser for the class (I seem to know an inordinate number of yoga teachers).

 

I have been added to groups maybe ten times on FB. Most of them were groups I wanted to be added to. I quietly left the others.

 

I do see "share/repost" things routinely, but there's no one on my feed who only posts that stuff. And most of them aren't any different than any other political post, they just have a please share/repost thing at the bottom, which I don't take as a personal entreaty by any means. It's not about me - it's just the person sharing their views, which is totally fine and, again, not about me or targeted specifically toward me. On many posts, it's basically just permission to do so if you want to.

[HS Mom in NC]

 but there's no one on my feed who only posts that stuff.

 

I didn't say that they only post those things.  I asked if have you unfollowed/unfriended only because they post those things. That means it's the only reason to unfollow/unfriend, not that that type of post is the only kind of content they post. 

 

And yes, there are people who regularly post those kinds of things.  I would say I'm seeing at least one of those things every few days, sometimes more than one.

 

If you were not a creationist and someone added you to a creationist group or if you were pro-choice and someone added you to a pro-life group, would you still quietly leave or would you say something? What about some group related to the person or party you didn't vote for this last election season?

 

I'm getting invitations to things from people I haven't seen since high school or haven't attended church with in more than a decade every couple of weeks. That's down from a couple of people posting a couple of times a week related to their business I have never shown the slightest interest in so I unfollowed them.

 

I'm trying to sort out which rudeness to ignore and which to do something about.  I wanted a range of opinions to consider before I decided which way to go.

 

[Farrar]

I didn't say that they only post those things.  I asked if have you unfollowed/unfriended only because they post those things. That means it's the only reason to unfollow/unfriend, not that that type of post is the only kind of content they post. 

 

And yes, there are people who regularly post those kinds of things.  I would say I'm seeing at least one of those things every few days, sometimes more than one.

 

If you were not a creationist and someone added you to a creationist group or if you were pro-choice and someone added you to a pro-life group, would you still quietly leave or would you say something? What about some group related to the person or party you didn't vote for this last election season?

 

I'm getting invitations to things from people I haven't seen since high school or haven't attended church with in more than a decade every couple of weeks. That's down from a couple of people posting a couple of times a week related to their business I have never shown the slightest interest in so I unfollowed them.

 

I'm trying to sort out which rudeness to ignore and which to do something about.  I wanted a range of opinions to consider before I decided which way to go.

 

 

I was just trying to provide context for why I feel that way. So, more context, no one has ever added me to a group that was directly in opposition to my beliefs. If I did have a bunch of people like that on my FB page, maybe I'd hate FB and the people I know a lot more and be ticked about this stuff. I think that context matters.

 

I do get invites to things or pages from people I never see or haven't interacted with directly in years. But I don't take it personally. A lot of people just invite everyone on their friend list to things. When I started a separate page for my blog, I just sent a single like my page invite to everyone. Big whoop if you never clicked. I couldn't care less. And they aren't doing that to be rude. They're doing it to try and promote their business and livelihood or gather anyone they know at a party or whatever. But it's not a wedding invite with an RSVP. It's a spammed to friends FB event. New norms.

 

But again, maybe if you have a wider range of friends who are doing it nonstop, you have a reason to feel differently. Mostly my rule for FB is that what other people do in FB is not about me. It's not personal unless they literally tag only me and say, Farrar, this is about you.