Scarlett Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 My 20 year old niece is living with us. She went to community college for 2 years---1 semester a waste because she just didn't stay focused enough to get through things. She didn't fail anything, but she didn't do well enough on a couple of classes for them to transfer. Anyway, she is very bright....but...immature. I'm ok with her being immature--she is a good girl who doesn't give anyone a minutes trouble. No drugs, alcohol, or male trouble with her. She doesn't know what she wants to do. Or rather I think it is possible she knows but is afraid to voice it or go for it? I really don't know. She always said she wanted to be a teacher, but in her Sr. year of high school she back off of that after mentoring some K'ers because she said it drove her crazy. She has taken career tests that strongly suggest she should enter the finance field. She doesn't even know what that means. :001_huh: I told her an accounting degree sounds to me like it would suit her...she is just sort of clueless about it because she is young. She is back to not ruling out teaching anymore. I think she wasn't getting good vibes at home to continue her schooling and now that she is with me feels more free to express what she wants to do. ? Hard to say what is going on in her head, but she did say last night she does think she wants to go back. She currently has a full time job pay $8.25 an hour...I bet they would let her go to part time to work around a school schedule...but either way she could find something part time. I know I am rambling. I am just having trouble guiding her without pressuring her which she does NOT respond well to. Any advice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen500 Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Did she really enjoy any of the classes she's already taken? Maybe she could take more classes in that area. That's what led me to my career, not necessarily a certain job or degree. It's hard for young people to know all the job opportunities available that aren't along the lines of teacher/lawyer/doctor etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Not sure if this will be helpful or not. Is it possible she wants to pursue something that is seen by family as outside the realm of a normal career path? I was an artistic child and would have loved to pursue something in that field. My family had an unspoken mindset that it was not a viable option, that path was for others, not us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver0f10 Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 My 19 yo is in the same situation. She started college last year in a pre-vet program and droped out mid year. She couldn' t make up her mind if she wanted to spend all the time it took to be a vet. She is working as a vet nurse and while she enjoys it, she does want a college degree. So she is starting at the community college this spring taking an english and a math course. Just enough to get her back in the door and she is hoping once she gets a few classes under her belt she might have a better idea what she wants to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Could she shadow a finance person for a day or two? (Provided they are sane during this stressful time! :D) My BIL and SIL are financial planners. They make good money and love what they do. Working in a bank is a career choice of many. Ask her if she could do anything in the world, what would it be? I think some kiddoes just don't have enough life experience to know what they want. Trying a few different classes or job shadowing experiences might trigger a passion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Not knowing what career path to follow at 20 is perfectly normal. I'm 31 and still unsure of what I want to be when I grow up. Education, business, and all other degrees require basic liberal arts courses. She can enroll as an undeclared major, a liberal arts major, or almost anything she blindly picks from the course catalog and would still have plenty of time to sort things out and declare an official major later. There's no getting out of English, Math, Psych or Soc, Phys Ed, and a history course or two. If she can accept that those are inevitable and that starting them now will make room for specialized study when she makes a decision, she should be just fine. Better than fine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 14, 2008 Author Share Posted October 14, 2008 Not sure if this will be helpful or not. Is it possible she wants to pursue something that is seen by family as outside the realm of a normal career path? I was an artistic child and would have loved to pursue something in that field. My family had an unspoken mindset that it was not a viable option, that path was for others, not us. There is no career path that we would find objectionable...I mean of course unless it is immoral...:tongue_smilie: No one in her life is encouraging her to be rich/famous/ or anything like that. We are focusing on helping her to take care of herself eventually. I told her I would support her decision to do what she wants with her life. Missionary. Teacher. Accountant. And the rest of the family would too. When she was young (jr high) she talked about being an art teacher. Don't know what happened to that idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MicheleinMN Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Sounds like the same problem I am having with my son. He's a great kid! He just has NO idea what he really wants to do or be when he grows up, and I have NO idea how to help him. If you figure out how to encourage/motivate her, please share what you did and/or how you did it! Michele Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 14, 2008 Author Share Posted October 14, 2008 My 19 yo is in the same situation. She started college last year in a pre-vet program and droped out mid year. She couldn' t make up her mind if she wanted to spend all the time it took to be a vet. She is working as a vet nurse and while she enjoys it, she does want a college degree. So she is starting at the community college this spring taking an english and a math course. Just enough to get her back in the door and she is hoping once she gets a few classes under her belt she might have a better idea what she wants to do. I think this is the best thing to do. And we did convince her to keep going for 2 years while she lived with her mother. She was so unmotivated though. She said she hated it. I told her it was ok if she hated it. She didn't have to love it...she just had to get through it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in KY Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Tell her to go live overseas for a year so she can have some time to decide she really wants to do University. It's sure to be a growing experience for her. If she's had a bookkeeping course, and she' a Christian, she could go as a missionary for a year and help every one in an area with their accounts. It is often the bane of missionary existence. She'd be a welcome help and a big blessing. If she's not a Christian, she can still do a year of service somewhere. There are secular not-for-profits she could give a year to. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 14, 2008 Author Share Posted October 14, 2008 Tell her to go live overseas for a year so she can have some time to decide she really wants to do University. It's sure to be a growing experience for her. If she's had a bookkeeping course, and she' a Christian, she could go as a missionary for a year and help every one in an area with their accounts. It is often the bane of missionary existence. She'd be a welcome help and a big blessing. If she's not a Christian, she can still do a year of service somewhere. There are secular not-for-profits she could give a year to. Susan A year of volunteering isn't a bad idea....I've told her I'd support her (help financially even) if she wanted to do that.... She took a personality test and left it for me to see this morning. :) She just came home from work and is chatting with me about her options. She is afraid to 'pick' a job to go get educated for. :) What if she hates it she asks? I shrugged and told her no one was going to hold a gun to her head and force her to keep doing a job she hated.... Anyway, I think she will pick something and go for it by semester.....I'm going to guess accounting/teacher/or some sort of physical therapist...or speech therapist...she doesn't know much about how much school some of those require. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 16, 2008 Author Share Posted October 16, 2008 I talked to her last night about school. Sigh. She said she doesn't want to go back for the spring semester....she wants to wait until next fall. I didn't say anything more to her. I thought it best to drop back and think of a good response. So if she would go back in the spring semester I would be ok with her staying here with us and getting her degree which I think she could do in 2 years....but if she is just going to work for a year, I think she needs to get her own apartment. And if she does that, I 'm afraid she will never go back. I have no clue what to do with this kid. I did explain to her yesterday that with her current job she should try to find an apartment for no more than $300 a month. That will be really really tough even in our LCOL city. Well, to be safe I mean. I guess I should take her around and show her what $300 a month will get her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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