My parents give me a headache

[SeclusiveLocket]

Am I alone on this? I used to think it was the bed at their house as every time I visited I would have a headache (and before i hadon't had one in months). They recently stayed at my house though and I got a headache. Probably from stress I assume. If I eat at my mother's house, she gives me this look if I try to eat 2 buns, or if I eat more than she thinks I should, or if I order fries at a resteraunt. Drives me nuts! I'm not 12! Let me eat! Especially at Christmas time (last time I visited her) as I am pregnant and always hungry. It was awful.

 

Anyone else in the same boat?

[SKL]

LOL.  I have the opposite experience.  Going to my parents' house makes me feel much more relaxed.  I am not sure if it's because the air is cleaner out there (it is rural) or something else.  :)  I also tend to get the munchies over there, when I rarely do at home.  :)

[paulasue]

Yes, DH always jokes when I have a migraine after talking or seeing my mom.  My mom just says stupid things.  My brother is the favorite child, so she's always trying to make him sound great usually by comparing us incorrectly.  Lately, I've been on top of things and have correct her, but I have to be on my toes so I can correct my mother.  It's really stressful for me to be around her.  She's not going to say anything positive about me or my husband. 

Edited March 25, 2016 by paulasue

[marbel]

Not my parents, but my in-laws.  I can't relax around them at all.  Eating is very hard.  My MIL makes nasty comments about fat people all the time. Well, I am overweight by 15-20 pounds, so I can't help but take it personally.  So I don't eat much.  My FIL will also comment negatively on food we bring.  Once when we visited, I brought yogurt and muesli for breakfast instead of eating bacon and eggs.  My FIL made a comment worthy of an 8-year-old when he saw it.  I told him it tasted great and would he like some?   I knew he would not.   So now when we go I just skip breakfast, which also generates commentary.  My husband used to try to talk to them but I told him it would never do any good.  We don't see them too often.

[JaneEyre]

Yes. I love my mother, but she divorced my dad about 7 years ago and spends most of the time putting him down and saying how he ruined her life, on and on and on... If it gets too much and I speak up, then she will start crying and I will get a headache.

Edited March 25, 2016 by JaneEyre

[kbutton]

My inlaws used to give me tension headaches. This was before I was even aware that I found them as stressful as I do. I find them more stressful now, but maybe acknowledging it makes me less prone to a tension headache.

[BooksandBoys]

I once went to an emergency dentist office fearing that I needed an immediate root canal while my in-laws were visiting. The tooth was absolutely fine. Since then, every time they visit, I end up with similar agonizing pain in my tooth. I guess I clench and grind when they are here?

 

Incidentally, my MIL gets a sinus infection every single time she visits (twice a year for ten years). I pointed it out to her the last time she got one on the second day of her visit, but she told me I was wrong and continued her pity party about this rare and frustrating sinus infection. :-)

(She doesn't like me or think I have any intelligence or value. I could tell her that the clouds are white and she'd tell me I was wrong, then write a verbal dissertation about how clouds are not white.)

[The Girls' Mom]

Probably TMI, but I used to intestinal distress every time I went to visit my parents, or they came to visit.  It would usually hit on the drive there, so it wasn't their cooking or their house.  I'm pretty sure it was the stress.  I do get headaches a lot at my in-laws, but I know it is from clenching my teeth so I don't say things I'll regret..lol.

[kbutton]

The cooked food was made the day before, stored in the garage at room temp, the heated for serving. I guess food storage safety wasnt taught back then in her high school.

 

The last time my MIL cooked for an event at our house was when she brought something for 3.5 hours in the car, unrefrigerated, that had meat in it. Knowing how slowly she carries out activities like cooking, it was probably out a long time at home before that. That was almost 9 years ago, and I no longer let her bring anything from home (except something like cookies or pie). They don't get asked over that often either because it's a lot of work when I can't supervise cooking and everything else adequately, and my MIL likes to reinterpret all my directions for things from the insignificant directions to directions that involve major safety issues (like medicine).