Am I Too Late? Responsibility in Household for 17 y/o

[katilac]

It's hard to breed good help. God knows I've tried.

 

 

 

:lol:

[goldberry]

I have been gosh awful sick all week with a stomach bug. I've quarantined myself in my bedroom.

 

 

 

That was exactly what happened here.

[mamiof5]

Haven't read other responses. I don't think you are too late, but it sounds like your dd could benefit from some new routines/chores approach. Good luck!

[kewb]

I did not really have chores growing. Occasionally my mom would make my sister and I clean up the dishes after dinner. I do not recall this being a regular thing. Sometimes we helped with cleaning if asked. We knew how to do stuff. There were certain things we did as a matter of course, such as put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher when you are done using them, put your dirty clothes in the hamper. As a teen I just didn't care about the cleaning. It wasn't important to me. When I no longer had my mom picking up after me I started caring.

Edited March 20, 2016 by kewb

[FloridaLisa]

it's late, but it's not too late. Be grateful for the insight that your few days in the sickbed has given you and start now making some course corrections. It doesn't have to be a 180 degree change for her. She can start off taking on one chore at a time. When she masters it, add another or change out the chore. 

 

What about starting in the kitchen with you? Helping you cook and helping with dishes? 

 

I think learning how to clean is a life skill. It's not just that you're trying to instill good habits but that you're trying to prepare her. Sure she can learn it as she needs it. But why not give her an advantage and have her prepared so that it's not an additional stressor when she's on her own? 

 

And a story: my kids have always had chores as well as the regular pick up after yourself, make your bed in the morning, put something away that you got out, add it to the grocery list if you use the last up. Varying degrees of success with different kiddos. BUT, my oldest four have all gone into scholarship housing that requires them to take on a chore in exchange for room and board. They must clean their dishes and put them away as soon as they're done eating. If the house manager (a fellow student elected to position) finds dishes in the sink, it's a warning. Three warnings and the kitchen is closed for the whole house. Guess how many times they have to close the kitchen each year? Guess how tidy the kitchen is? 

 

All 4 of those kids have come home and when they're done with a meal, they take their plates to the sink, rinse them and put them in the dishwasher.  :mellow:  :hurray: Apparently, 1) the right consequences work; 2) peer pressure to clean can be good and 3) kids CAN clean up after themselves without being cajoled, reminded, harangued, you get the picture. 

 

So, yes, listen to your gut. Just tell her this past week showed you that you need to start preparing her and then include her as you're doing the cooking and cleaning.