Thank you!

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Thank you for the advice, it was so helpful.

Edited December 11, 2015 by ILiveInFlipFlops

[Stacia]

:grouphug: :grouphug:

 

I can feel this way myself sometimes & my ds is like this too.

 

A media fast helps me sometimes. You may want to suggest that to her. Rather than quitting media all together, delete or block the contentious ones for now (knowing that she has the option to add them back in later) & focus on ones that are fun & uplifting. Maybe sell it as a happiness Christmas countdown challenge or happiness countdown to the new year -- x number of days of happy or fun reading only (cute kitties, fun book blogs, silliness & jokes, etc...). Maybe presenting it as something temporary would be do-able to her, keep her online but focusing on nice things, & then she might notice that she feels differently after a week or two. Maybe she could set up a different browser screen & feeds w/ just nice/fun stuff.

 

If she still wants to stay on top of 'news', I'd suggest Youngzine. They do a weekly update with news stories, plus others (science, entertainment, etc...). I feel like their coverage is well-written for the pre-teen/teenager & doesn't hype or sensationalize stories. So, their website might be a way to stay in the loop w/out getting burned out on the excessive.

 

ETA: You may also want to mention to her that it is really hard to 'un-see' or 'un-read' things that end up causing anxiety. Believe me, I know. I read an article yesterday that I wish I hadn't & it has been foremost in my mind ever since. Also, I have extremely vivid dreams & remember many of them, so I don't get a respite even during sleep. So, there is value in knowing your own limitations, realizing that you can't make your mind 'un-see' or 'un-read' things, & policing yourself accordingly. Also, she may want to be connected to things (for example, the feminist blog you mentioned) to feel that she's contributing to a bigger issue, but remind her that's it ok to step back & let others carry on the fight (for there will always be others willing to do so) & that there will still be good to contribute to the world & in advancing issues when she's older or feels more ready to take on things again.

 

ETA again: Looking at this made me think of your post. Avoiding Negativity.

Edited December 9, 2015 by Stacia

[Guest]

I don't think you're crazy - screen time and media can make these issues worse. I'd be encouraging her, as an introvert, to get lost in music and an activity to de-stress and good books, kindle or otherwise. Maybe set a media fast for two weeks and then reintroduce devices and computers with two windows per day to interact and check up on email and such, but stay away from the Internet other than that.

 

A break can do so much good for letting those events 'move on' without you and giving you space to calm down.

[Joker]

My dd is almost 16 and dealing with anxiety and depression. She cut out all social media on her own. She said there was too much drama. She does still use Tumbler but only to share things with a few good friends. She also cut out all texting because she said it made her feel like she anyways had to be 'on'. She does enjoy the news, especially politics, but she can control what she searches out and what she reads.

 

If your dd isn't ready to limit herself maybe you can try to engage her in something else when you see her spending a lot of time online. I would probably have a discussion about how too much of it could play into her feeling down. Maybe she would be willing to try spending less time online as an experiment to see if it helps.

 

Good luck.

Edited December 9, 2015 by Joker

[MysteryJen]

We had a rough fall with dd2 and mean girls. She also worries about currents event (has a good friend living in Israel) and bad weather. No tv news here. Only newspaper, which she doesn't like to read (dyslexic). I encouraged a media fast in September. But she finally took it to heart today. She deleted Instagram and it seems like there is a weight off already.

 

We are trying to fill the time with art, books and games. Swim team is now the only place she has to deal with the girls.

 

It has been a long and miserable past few months.

[imagine.more]

I struggle with depression and don't do the facebook thing because of it. I'd talk with her about ruthlessly streamlining her social media to only keep good, true, beautiful things in her daily stuff. Unfollow anything negative, protect herself from upsetting stories and conversations temporarily. On instagram and pinterest it is very easy to customize your experience to do that.

[Shellydon]

We simply don't allow DD13 to access any of those things you listed.  Ever.  I don't either.  It has zero value to daily life.  I would possibly consider pinterest for craft only things, if DD really wanted it.

[happi duck]

This is my dd also.

 

Cutting it out completely doesn't work for us because not knowing what's going on doesn't help her anxiety either.

 

She does media fasts from time to time and got off of some platforms.

 

We have an ongoing discussion about balance. I didn't have tools to cope and was walloped as an adult. I want my dd to develop the tools she needs.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Thank you all, you gave me some great starting points. I actually just recently heavily modified my own FB feed so I could avoid the stuff that stressed me and keep only the things I found useful, so I don't know why that didn't occur to me!

 

We've started talking about some of this stuff, and I've been cutting back on screen time for all of us, so that's where we're beginning. Today, instead of picking up her laptop right after breakfast, I found her in her room drawing and listening to music. Hooray!