New outrage! (and it's not even political)

[Bev in B'ville]

My dd is 15 and taking a defensive driving course every Saturday from 8-5 for the fall. In our state, either the teenager takes a state approved course or they have to wait until 17 to get their license.

 

Anyway, yesterday the instructor decided to tell the 15 year olds in the course about the effects of alcohol. He did okay up to the part where he told them that "getting drunk is fun, but you should wait 'til your 21." He also told them that they shouldn't tell their parents he said this. Thankfully, my dd did share this with me. (I do wonder, however, how many other teens told their parents about this comment.)

 

I found this statement outrageous! You don't tell a bunch of 15 year olds that getting drunk is fun! What was he thinking? And then adding in the teaser that they should wait until their 21? This is akin to throwing a dog a juicy bone and then telling him he can't eat it and turn your back.

 

The phone line will be buzzing tomorrow I tell ya.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

I'd be on the phone too.

[sleepy]

Argh! :banghead:

 

I think we'll just skip the state approved course and wait 'til the kids are 17.

[Michele B]

Oh. Wow.

 

I would definitely address that!

 

That is another example of an adult trying to be the "friend" instead of the teacher/parent/other adult etc!

[Nicole M]

That seems very unprofessional and inappropriate to me, but not outrageous, per se. Not that it makes it okay, but I suspect that many of the kids in that class already know that getting drunk is fun.

 

We have been talking with our children about alcohol from the get-go. I have 5 siblings, all of whom have struggled with alcoholism and drug abuse, and both of my parents are alcoholics. In our case, the chances that our children would have issues with alcohol is rather high, so I felt it was very important to have ongoing, age-appropriate conversations. But even in families that do not have this extra burden, I think it's important to be talking about it from early on.

 

I'm not saying you shouldn't make some calls. I do think it's an opportunity to engage in very frank dialogue with your children and even the larger community about this very important issue.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have a different take on this. I have told my kids that drinking if fun, so is doing drugs, and so is having sex. If it weren't no one would ever do those activities again. (BTW, I'm glad that the one time as a teen I tried to smoke a cigarette it wasn't fun - I never did it again.)

 

But drinking too much isn't fun (even if your brain loses all sense of what is fun or not.) I tell them about how you can't make your body walk a straight line and don't have complete control over it (and if you are drunk enough you don't have any control over it.) I tell them about how stupid and silly people act when they are drunk. And how they do and say things that can ruin their life but "seemed" like a good idea when they were drunk. And I tell them that there is a reason for waiting to a certain age to take a drink - so that you can decide whether you want to drink at all and if so, how to drink responsibly. Both my kids know that I started drinking heavily at age 11 and the experience (over the years) was not "fun".

 

(I have similar talks about drugs - though in that case I personally don't see a benefit of ever using illegal drugs. When they are older, I will give them more "straight talk" about sex.)

 

I would point out to my daughter (and the instructor) that drinking might be fun but getting drunk really isn't. And I would point out that keeping "secrets" from parents is never, never ok. Even if he thinks it is a good tactic so that he can be "chummy" with the teens.

[Michele B]

 

I think that is the part that bothers me so much.

[JenParrish]

I would not only be on the phone, but I would follow up my complaint in writing. I would also mention it to other adults who have kids taking the course with that person. What was he thinking? Geese.

[JenParrish]

I think that is the part that bothers me so much.

 

Oh, and I did not even mention the part about the secret. Geese.

[Jennifer3141]

I have a different take on this. I have told my kids that drinking if fun, so is doing drugs, and so is having sex. If it weren't no one would ever do those activities again. (BTW, I'm glad that the one time as a teen I tried to smoke a cigarette it wasn't fun - I never did it again.)

 

But drinking too much isn't fun (even if your brain loses all sense of what is fun or not.) I tell them about how you can't make your body walk a straight line and don't have complete control over it (and if you are drunk enough you don't have any control over it.) I tell them about how stupid and silly people act when they are drunk. And how they do and say things that can ruin their life but "seemed" like a good idea when they were drunk. And I tell them that there is a reason for waiting to a certain age to take a drink - so that you can decide whether you want to drink at all and if so, how to drink responsibly. Both my kids know that I started drinking heavily at age 11 and the experience (over the years) was not "fun".

 

(I have similar talks about drugs - though in that case I personally don't see a benefit of ever using illegal drugs. When they are older, I will give them more "straight talk" about sex.)

 

I would point out to my daughter (and the instructor) that drinking might be fun but getting drunk really isn't. And I would point out that keeping "secrets" from parents is never, never ok. Even if he thinks it is a good tactic so that he can be "chummy" with the teens.

 

:iagree: and I think you're doing a great job as a parent!

 

Jen

[Bev in B'ville]

My dh and I are not teetotalers and I, in fact, had red wine with dinner last night. You're right, it is important to have these conversations, especially when alcoholism and/or addictive behavior is in the extended family (in our case, my dh's uncle). However, that's a conversation for parents to have with their dc, not for a law enforcement officer in a DRIVING course to be telling the kids that getting drunk is fun. The secrecy part of it bothered me a lot, too.

 

He did not mention how drunk people look like idiots to those around them. He did not mention that people die every year from drinking too much (alcohol poisoning). He did not mention how a person feels the morning after and the sickness a person experiences. He did not mention that more women experience date rape as a result of getting drunk. All he talked about was how alcohol thins the blood leading to oxygen depletion in the brain, which leads to bad choices.

 

If he was going to have a conversation about alcohol, he should have included all of it, not just that getting drunk is fun. I do think he has every right and should talk about drinking and driving. Perhaps he could even show video clips of how stupid drunk people look when they're pulled over and the resulting consequences. He could even talk about a local recent murder when a person at a restaurant tried to take the car keys from a man who had drank too much. The drunk man pulled out a gun and shot him. He died two days later and now the man who shot him will be in jail for felony murder for a very long time.

 

Just wanted to clarify.

[Robin Hood]

I have a different take on this. I have told my kids that drinking if fun, so is doing drugs, and so is having sex. If it weren't no one would ever do those activities again. (BTW, I'm glad that the one time as a teen I tried to smoke a cigarette it wasn't fun - I never did it again.)

 

But drinking too much isn't fun (even if your brain loses all sense of what is fun or not.) I tell them about how you can't make your body walk a straight line and don't have complete control over it (and if you are drunk enough you don't have any control over it.) I tell them about how stupid and silly people act when they are drunk. And how they do and say things that can ruin their life but "seemed" like a good idea when they were drunk. And I tell them that there is a reason for waiting to a certain age to take a drink - so that you can decide whether you want to drink at all and if so, how to drink responsibly. Both my kids know that I started drinking heavily at age 11 and the experience (over the years) was not "fun".

 

(I have similar talks about drugs - though in that case I personally don't see a benefit of ever using illegal drugs. When they are older, I will give them more "straight talk" about sex.)

 

I would point out to my daughter (and the instructor) that drinking might be fun but getting drunk really isn't. And I would point out that keeping "secrets" from parents is never, never ok. Even if he thinks it is a good tactic so that he can be "chummy" with the teens.

 

:iagree: Remembering back as I was influenced by my friends, I thought that my experience was different from what my mom and dad told me about these things, and that they didn't get it. Typical thinking from a teen ager, but I want my kids to know that I get it, so I give them a little more info because it does come up about others in our life. I have said that drinking is not wrong, but getting drunk is. I have also pointed out that from the inside, the drunk doesn't know he's drunk and acts stupid just thinking he's having fun, but that from the outside we see how stupid he looks. It still goes over their heads because in their innocense they miss the point and tell me I am not supposed to say "stupid", a word btw, I have never prohibited.

 

Having grown up around alcoholism and drinking, I partied a lot in high school and it was seeing drunk people from the outside that made me see how stupid it was, so I gave it up after a very short time trying it out. It was fun....but after babysitting out of control drunks a couple of times, it wasn't fun anymore. It is a mystery though that young people want in on, so I think it's wiser to tell the whole story. Yah, it's fun; but it's not good.

[pqr]

This is where you go after his job. You demand that he be fired, you write letters to your newspaper and your congress critters. Nothing personal against the individual, but then again telling my children to keep a secret from me is personal, but people have to realize that they simply can not make comments like that without repercussions.

 

Do I tell my kids that there is some pleasure in drink?.... absolutely!.... but that is ME telling MY kids, not some stranger. Get the man fired! (Or at very least get him to think that he may be fired).