How do you deal with preteen brain dysfunction?

[hollyhock]

My oldest began this around the age of 11 and now my second seems to be following suit. School takes him forever and he can't seem to remember how to do the simplest tasks.

 

Is there any way I can help him through it? Do I need to send him outside to go skating for 20 minutes? Do I sit with him and help him through all of his work? 

 

I would appreciate hearing any strategies other moms use while their kids go through this preteen thing.

[maize]

I would say yes to both skating and sitting with him.

 

My 11 year old insists her brain doesn't work if she isn't dancing; a year ago this problem did not exist. We do lots of physical activity, and I sit with her for anything that requires focus.

 

You could also try omega 3 supplements...

[SilverMoon]

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Edited September 8, 2023 by SilverMoon

[FairProspects]

We are having these issues too. We started running every morning with friends. It isn't a magic solution or anything, but it does really help with the focus. I notice a huge difference on mornings we run and mornings we can't for whatever reason. Ds begs to do it too. He says he feels significantly better on mornings he gets a run in.

[OneStepAtATime]

Agree with the others, exercise, sit with them, or in some cases sit NEAR them without seeming to hover.  Be working on other things so it doesn't seem like you are in their face.  DD hated it if it looked like I was hovering.

 

Also, do you have a set routine and checklist for them to go by?  Training the kids to work off of a daily checklist (including chores) really helped.  They could see themselves progressing through the list and knew if they just could stay focused school actually would have an end.

 

Also, if your child has some skill set that they would like to develop maybe get them some training with an outside source so they have a skill set they can see improvement in and may look forward to using that isn't directly tied to learning at home (music, athletics, sewing, dance, welding, computer programming, etc, etc.).

 

Another thing that helped here was doing apprenticeships for things, especially chores.  We would have training sessions and a celebration when they had completed the apprenticeship and moved on to journeyman status.  I didn't assume they knew anything, even for things they had already learned how to do.  We started over.  Helped quite a bit.  We would play songs, sing and dance, keep it light and interesting with lots of repetition until everything had internalized.

[Peaceful Isle]

What helps my girls focus during the day, is having something in that week to look forward to. It gives them hope lol :)

 

It could be simple things like having friends over on a Friday night, an afternoon at the park with homeschool kids from church, baking tons of goodies to help mom with her ladies party she is throwing in two days (for real) :/ and such. 

 

We also try to plan one family day a week. We live in CA so we have the ability to go to the beach, theme park or what have you. 

 

Anyways, that is what helps my girls focus.

[Cottonwood]

along with the suggestions above, I make sure they get enough social time, fresh air (so difficult right now), Vit D supplements, fish oil, and...time.  Nothing worse than suddenly not being capable of doing something you KNOW you're capable of, and having someone breathing down your neck putting pressure on you to do something you seemingly aren't able to do at the moment, adding to your own frustration and confusion......  I learned this the hard way b/c I mistook their fog and lack of progress for all sorts of other things and in the end, their crazy amt of sudden growth, need for more sleep and hormones were taking a toll on them.  For a while I leaned on him/her at different times, way too hard when they first started into..pre-puberty, really.  Now when I see these signs, as long as they are working diligently, i don't say a word about whatever work they end up turning in.  It's very hard for me because I have quarterly goals, and my personality panics when we get behind.  But they don't care about goals when their groggy and crampy and can't focus.  It just makes life difficult here not to relax about it.  I also just call school off if one of them wakes up and it's really bad.  We leave the house and get a mental break by finding something fun to get into.

 

[happycc]

Oh my gosh...That is exactly what we are going through here. Thank you for confirming that I am not nuts. Everything is taking longer than before. They are so spacey and forgetful. They stare into space literally. I spend time refocusing them. I thought we were over that years ago. My 5yrs old needs a lot of redirection and with the preteens it is the same amount. My whole day is spent asking them "What are you working on?" What are you doing? Stay on task. Whats next on the list? 

Get back to work. The wall is not going to give you answers. Staring in space isn;t going to help. 

[maize]

It helps that I have an infant around to remind me that eating and sleeping are legitimate tasks for a person going through a period of major transition, growth, and development :)

[brehon]

Alcohol (It's 5:00 somewhere in the world, right?) 

 

j/k

 

 

Lots of exercise, food, routine, food, rest, shower, food, etc.  Sense a pattern? My boy can down sandwiches like no one's business. Seriously, growing up is hard work and sometimes the focus for academics just isn't there. I make sure he (and all the kids) have access to good fats, protein, carbs, and plenty of water. And I send them out to "run the circle" (we have a huge circular drive), too.