Help with my mother's helper

[SparklyUnicorn]

 She definitely has the option to say no.

 

Put yourself in her shoes.  How easy is it to say no?  KWIM?

 

It often took me forever to realize someone was taking advantage of me when I was that young.

[fairfarmhand]

What are the age spans of your kids? I know at 15 a huge age span with infant, toddler, and a couple of school aged kids would've freaked me out.

 

At 17, I hired as a summer babysitter every day. I didn't scrub the house, clean bathrooms, etc. but I helped the kids clean up after themselves, interacted with them, made sure they didn't fuss with one another, and tidied stuff after lunch. (4 kids, ages 10, 7, 4, and 2)

 

I wasn't (still am not) the playing with the kids type. One reason I had several kids was so they could play with one another. BUt I did read books, color with them, and instruct them. The was pre-cell phone days. I only permitted TV for a few hours at a time. During nap, they would all "rest" while I took a breather, did light straightening up (crumbs, dishes).  I did need that short period to regroup from that many kids.

[Isabella]

I am a part time nanny/housekeeper of twin 12month olds and a two year old.  The mother stays home mostly.  I would do all the things you listed in your OP, as well as the cleaning, but I'm an experienced mother myself.  Not sure that I would have been capable of managing all that at 15 without quite a bit of direction.

[momacacia]

I think you should try to hire your friend's helper away from her.

 

I'm only kidding...kind of.

I had a friend do this to me. It's not received well. My DH was particularly peeved. We are still friends, but have a better understanding of the relationship. I would never share the name of or current wonderful babysitter with anyone. I'm serious about it now.

 

In places like high end NYC, etc, it's called Nanny 'Napping.

[Upennmama]

My daughter is 12 and she can take care of kids and do simple cleaning while she watches them, she can cook a full meal (something simple like spaghetti or roast chicken), etc. She knows how to clean bathrooms, design a short bible lesson for kids, etc. I think she could do what you're talking about, although doing extra chores might be hard unless your kids are sleeping. But my DD has 6 sibings, so she's used to being a helper. I think this girl needs training and time, and perhaps specific instructions. 

[Tsuga]

Oh.

 

This is like the housecleaner thread going on right now -- I think expectations have changed.

 

If what you are actually looking for is "part-time nanny" that's important to know. You could ask people who live in your area what is normal, and what are the going rates.

 

When I was young, back in the Stone Age, a teen babysitter could handle a mealtime (even with light cooking; definitely more than a bowl of pretzels or string cheese), a bedtime, crafts and stories, playing games, and tidying up before the parent came back, but that may be wildly unimaginable now unless you pay adult wages to a trained adult.

 

That is what my teen sitters and even pre-teen helpers do.

 

It is not unrealistic but you do have to search.

 

However I pay a full-time wage. Around here that's $10 with no driver's license, or $15 with. Min. wage is nearly $10 though and I won't pay less than that, ever.

[fruitofthewomb]

I had a sit down with her & mom. I apologized for the high expectations & laid out new (much lower) expectations & shortened her day. I asked her to think about whether she would really like to continue & that there would be no hard feelings if she didn't. Went very well.

 

I appreciate the feedback I received. Although the opinions are varied it helped me put it all in perspective.

[momacacia]

^^^^This sounds so nicely done!