trying to adopt a pet...did we just lose our chance??

[PrincessMommy]

Sorry this is a bit of a ramble:

 

 

We've been looking to adopt a dog since late fall and thought we had found the right one for our family.  We met her back in Dec. at an adoption event.  She was heart-worm positive, which meant we would have to wait to get her until she was cleared.  We loved her, she was such a sweetie.  Not hyper or anything.

 

We applied to be accepted for adoption by the rescue and that took about 2 weeks because of the holidays.  No problem, we weren't in a hurry because we knew we'd need to wait.  There were some other dogs we were interested in, but this one we liked best.  Yesterday her foster was able to bring her over to our house for  a visit.  She's still about a month away from being released.   Anyway, we had reservations that she may be just a bit too timid for our family.  She's good with children (I keep my grandson 2-3x perweek) and didn't need a fence, which we don't have. But, I dunno...I just had these reservations that perhaps we might overwhelm her.

 

We want a dog as a companion for our 13yr old.  This dog would be perfect for my dh and I if we were empty nesters, but I'm not sure she's right if we still have a young teenager at home fulltime and a grandchild.  Doggie also has 2 other families interested in adopting her, but we're first in line.   I just felt that it was wrong if we're having 2nd thoughts to hold them up, so I sent the foster an email.  I found another 2 doggie possibilities last night...of course, they may not be right either.

 

But, I'm worried that by telling them we're not sure this particular dog is the right fit for our family that we may lose are chance of adopting a different dog from them.

 

Also, I have another question about adopting from a shelter.   There's a 3rd possible dog at a shelter not too far away.  But, my concern is that the shelter often has very little information about the dog's sociability compared with rescues, where the dog usually lives with a family/household.  I don't want to get a dog that ends up nipping at my grandson because they just don't know these things at a shelter.   Is that assumption pretty fair?

 

[Ann.without.an.e]

 

Also, I have another question about adopting from a shelter.   There's a 3rd possible dog at a shelter not too far away.  But, my concern is that the shelter often has very little information about the dog's sociability compared with rescues, where the dog usually lives with a family/household.  I don't want to get a dog that ends up nipping at my grandson because they just don't know these things at a shelter.   Is that assumption pretty fair?

 

 

We adopted from a local public shelter.  Will they let you walk the dog?  Ours would let us take him on walks around the park beside the shelter.  I walked him three different times and then the whole family walked him a fourth.  We just wanted to be sure.  We saw his temperament around everyone and tried all sorts of things with him to see how he reacted.  DH even rolled him over on his back and gently pinned him to the ground to see if he growled or snapped.  He didn't.  I don't think you can really tell by only looking at a dog through a fence or kennel.  You need to be able to get some alone time with him/her.  Our only reservation was that he was also a little timid (like maybe he had been mishandled).  He was hesitant with DH from the first time we met the him.  In fact, for the first two months if DH came toward our dog to pet him, he would cower and tinkle on the floor.  Now he is fine...no reservations with any of us.  He has turned out to be a great dog, especially for our kids.  He loves them and vice versa.   

[dirty ethel rackham]

I can't speak for the rescue that you are working with, but I know I would respect the careful consideration you are putting into this decision, on what is best for your family and what is best for the dog.  A good rescue would see that.  However, some rescues are so focused on the animals and almost adversarial with the potential adopters.  They forget that it is a two-way street ... the match has to be good for the dog and the humans.

 

I work in a shelter, so I see dogs adopted from there all the time.  You are right that you don't get nearly as much information from a shelter, mostly because, even if we know the dogs well there, we only know their "shelter" personalities.  We don't know how they would be in a house.  The good news is that most of the dogs who have had problem behaviors in the shelter ended up being really good pets once they got out of that stressful environment.  Some really shy dogs really perk up once they feel secure.  Good shelters do try to make sure that dogs go to suitable families and they very carefully consider young children into that equation.  I know that our shelter takes dogs back whenever an adoption fails and does not hold a return against a family unless it is a head-slapping "well-duh" kind of situation where they should never have gotten that dog in the first place ("I didn't know the dog would take so much time."  "The dog is just too active."  "It is too expensive.") 

[JustEm]

This shouldn't have affected your ability to get a dog from the first rescue. They are used to animals not fitting families and they would rather you be honest then need to regime later down the road.

 

For shelters, sometimes they know a lot about the dog but most of the time they don't. If you can bring your grandson with you to interact with a possible dog from a shelter that is a good option to give you a small idea of how they do. We've always had shelter dogs with no known history. We've never gotten a dog that was bad with kids to the extent that we had to rehome. But you also have to do research on the breed or breeds the dog is to know your odds of getting a dog bad with kids

[Pawz4me]

You shouldn't have hurt your chances of adopting from that rescue at all.  If anything you should have improved your chances.  They know you really want to get a good fit.  And that's what they want (or should want), too.

 

As far as the shelter dog -- Sometimes you luck up and can talk with a staff member or volunteer who may have a good feel for a shelter dog.  And ditto taking your grandson with you to visit if possible.  I also agree that most shelter dogs are very stressed and so it makes it difficult for their true personalities to come through.  Many dogs who are nervous or downright scared in a shelter environment turn into calm, friendly pets in a home environment.

[zoobie]

A good rescue wants it to be a perfect match. You have to fall in love! :)

[itsheresomewhere]

In some rescues, it will have hurt you.  In a good rescue- it would not have.  You don't want to adopt from the rescue that it hurts your chances.  You want the rescue that wants to see a good match and loves the animal.

 

Good luck and may the dog for you find you.