Distractibility - accepting vs. addressing?

[4KookieKids]

I have a 5.5 yo who has little to no interest in reading. He enjoys being read to (especially if he can play legos or do mazes at the same time!), loves listening to audiobooks while playing, and often enjoys looking at illustrated books on his own. I don't want to push him too much and turn him off to it, but I feel like 10 minutes a day shouldn't be tortuous (he'd like to tell you otherwise) and could help him get started if it's consistent. 

 

So, once we get past complaining (it's so hard! I don't want to! I was in the middle of playing ((though that lasts all morning, so the excuse doesn't mean much to me...)! It's boring! etc.) and he settles down to do it, he's actually not so bad at sounding things out. But he's SO distractible! Today he read "in... sect... insect!" and then proceeds to give me examples of sentences ("Like, there's a bee!") followed by zooming things around (fingers, pencils, etc.) pretending they're bugs and making up a few stories about insects. Meanwhile, I'm trying to get him back on task, but it usually takes several minutes to get back to the  words we're reading. Left to his own devices, he can easily amuse himself by doing the above on five words, and there go my 10 minutes of reading lesson... Or he looks over the words we're going to be reading and gets excited " ing! I love ing! It's my favorite sound!  Oh... these words don't have ing..." and then later starts adding "g" to words that have "in" because he "just likes ing so much that it's hard to say in"....  And I feel like I'm apologizing that so few words have his favorite sounds! lol. 

 

I've been trying to address the distractibility and keep him moving, but am wondering if I should just accept and appreciate that he's a 5 yo with a great imagination. Thoughts? This is definitely a reading-only issue. The kid loves art and math and will build and design and draw and paint until the cows come home... While I *generally* feel that later is fine and I don't want to push my kids, I feel like 10 minutes a day should be do-able at this age, but I'm beginning to doubt myself.

[Tsuga]

At 5.5 I'd say wait. I would push at 6.5 or 7 for reading. The research is all over the place but there is plenty of evidence that learning to read at 6.5 is well within the range of normal and enjoying reading is so important.

 

My younger daughter, by the way, is very similar to your son. My older was reading even later due to being in a German school where they really push reading starting at 6-7. She is now way, way, way ahead of the curve.

[ErinE]

I would incorporate his enthusiasm into the lesson. My dd always had a short sentence to copy after her reading lesson then space to draw a picture. Use that writing and drawing time to let him express his thoughts.

 

 

"After we finish our lesson, can you draw me a picture of some insects? I can label them for you. But let's finish our lesson first." Once the lesson is done: "Here's your copywork: A bee is an insect. Now, draw me some insects. Great job! Would you like me to label them?"

 

"I like -ing, too. Let's list some words with the -ing sound: sing, ring, ding. Can we make up some nonsense words? Bing, ling, fing. If we add -ER to fing, we have finger." After the lesson, copywork can be "I ding my finger" or "My finger sings" or "The ring sings". The drawing can be a person with a hurt hand or a singing finger or ring.

 

ETA: added clarity

[AimeeM]

We have the same 5.5 year old boy, I think :)

I do address it - but lightly. Mostly I just go with it. He knows he isn't done until we finish the page, so if he wants to giggle, jump, and pounce all over the place, that's fine - but he'll be away from his Keva planks and Minecraft for that much longer.

Like your boy, mine isn't bad (at all) at reading when he settles down. It IS, however, his least favorite subject - he enjoys math and loves being read to.

[desertflower]

Mine used to do that. I'd just go with it. I think it is their way of processing/understanding the words. I allowed him to do jumping jacks or jog in place while he was decoding the word.

 

He doesn't do it anymore. What happened you ask? *shrug* Maturity? Possibly. Or this: I started doing games from AAR. Then he realized that it was faster just to read the words. lol. Then I decided it was time for him to start reading from books and this got him a bit more interested. He is not done with phonics pathways, but I'm teaching him while he reads aloud. I started with 5 mins and now I'm up to 10 mins. I will also add that every child is different, so this may not work for your child. Mine was happenstance.

 

What you are doing is fine imo. :)

[4KookieKids]

Hmmm... Thanks for all the suggestions. He's definitely a very active kiddo who has a hard time sitting and he's always playing or fiddling with something (I've found having him point to the word he's reading with a pen or something helps him stay a tad more focused). But he loves playing word games while doing other things, and I've actually had to ask him to STOP rhyming while doing his chores because he'd been rhyming for the last two hours straight and I just couldn't take it anymore!!! (when he runs out of real words, he just makes up nonsense words, and then he switches languages and keeps rhyming there, since he's bilingual) lol. It's interesting (and a little strange, I'll admit) for me to see how he can do/process SO much verbally (makes up elaborate stories in two different languages, rhymes complicated words, etc.) and enjoy so many good books/audiobooks (his current favorite is 8 hours long!) while having no interest in reading. That was so NOT me as a child. :)

 

I think part of my problem (not his...) is that I am more of a relaxed learning sort of person (grew up in Germany where kids don't learn to read until 6 or 7) and I kind of like the idea of kids playing more than "schooling" at this age -- BUT I'm feeling some pressure to get him reading decently in the next year because I have two younger kids and a new one on the way, and I'm a little nervous/overwhelmed at the idea of trying to start "real school" in a year or two with so many littles underfoot. It seems like it might be easier (for me, at least!) if he could at least read some basics (e.g. the instructions in the math workbook he loves doing) by then. So on the one hand, I really want to just ignore it / go with the flow, but I'm stressed that it's going to come back to bite me when he's 7 and still not reading and I have three younger kiddos (and who knows if more will be on the way?) and it's time to start something more "real" but he needs me to read him everything still! But that is more my own baggage and speculation and fear talking, so I'll probably just give over to the first side of me that says to relax and just enjoy him. :)

[Pegs]

I'm no expert, but it really sounds to me like that's just the way he learns! He's obviously enjoying the work, and is so well engaged with it that he's exploring it further, in his own time.

 

Does he have a strong verbal memory? Perhaps you can reassure yourself that even if you do need to read instructions to him over the next year or so, you'll not likely need to do a lot of repeating and explaining.

[4KookieKids]

Does he have a strong verbal memory? Perhaps you can reassure yourself that even if you do need to read instructions to him over the next year or so, you'll not likely need to do a lot of repeating and explaining.

 

What is verbal memory? Is it remembering words you hear? Is it associating the spoken word with a word that you see/read?

[ErinE]

Hmmm... Thanks for all the suggestions. He's definitely a very active kiddo who has a hard time sitting and he's always playing or fiddling with something (I've found having him point to the word he's reading with a pen or something helps him stay a tad more focused). But he loves playing word games while doing other things, and I've actually had to ask him to STOP rhyming while doing his chores because he'd been rhyming for the last two hours straight and I just couldn't take it anymore!!! (when he runs out of real words, he just makes up nonsense words, and then he switches languages and keeps rhyming there, since he's bilingual) lol. It's interesting (and a little strange, I'll admit) for me to see how he can do/process SO much verbally (makes up elaborate stories in two different languages, rhymes complicated words, etc.) and enjoy so many good books/audiobooks (his current favorite is 8 hours long!) while having no interest in reading. That was so NOT me as a child. :)

 

I think part of my problem (not his...) is that I am more of a relaxed learning sort of person (grew up in Germany where kids don't learn to read until 6 or 7) and I kind of like the idea of kids playing more than "schooling" at this age -- BUT I'm feeling some pressure to get him reading decently in the next year because I have two younger kids and a new one on the way, and I'm a little nervous/overwhelmed at the idea of trying to start "real school" in a year or two with so many littles underfoot. It seems like it might be easier (for me, at least!) if he could at least read some basics (e.g. the instructions in the math workbook he loves doing) by then. So on the one hand, I really want to just ignore it / go with the flow, but I'm stressed that it's going to come back to bite me when he's 7 and still not reading and I have three younger kiddos (and who knows if more will be on the way?) and it's time to start something more "real" but he needs me to read him everything still! But that is more my own baggage and speculation and fear talking, so I'll probably just give over to the first side of me that says to relax and just enjoy him. :)

From this description, it sounds like he's okay. He understands that words rhyme, he's playing with language. What are you using for the reading lesson? Is he reading words by themselves or actual books?

 

There came a point in my children's reading abilities where books and read alouds were a better use of reading time than a stand alone lesson. I might briefly say the point of the lesson "Dr- says DR, like drink" but I'd let dd read a book, repeating the sound if needed.

 

My dd really enjoyed Nora Gaydos Now I'm Reading! because the stories were colorful, short, and fun. I also wrote down her own stories and thoughts. She would copy a short sentence then illustrate.

[Pegs]

What is verbal memory? Is it remembering words you hear? Is it associating the spoken word with a word that you see/read?

Well it's actually a fairly broad term, but when I asked earlier, I could have more specifically asked about verbal recall, which can mean remembering words you hear. :)

 

So, if you told him at the beginning of a worksheet,"It's asking you to circle the odd one out in every group." Would he remember your instructions long enough to do so?

 

You seem concerned about the amount of independent work you'll be able to expect from your DS in a few years. Perhaps it would help you to start a thread asking others to share how much independent work their students have been capable of at which ages and levels.

[Tsuga]

Honestly, if you are homeschooling, I'd let reading go naturally. If there's nobody to judge him as "behind" let him develop normally.

 

Unless he has a learning disability, which it does not sound like he is showing (not with all the rhyming and ability he's showing up to this point), he will learn to read by modeling and with normal instruction.

 

Moreover, many children, particularly active ones, may be able to read but not able to direct learning even if they can read. My older one is eight and as a creative type she would need a lot of oversight even now to get stuff done. She's an excellent reader. That is not the issue.

 

Best of luck to you.

[PeterPan]

I would instruct him that he's going to be required to focus for x amount of time but then change what you're doing to make sure it's engaging enough that he actually finds it stimulating to focus on it. It sounds like most of what you're asking for is uninteresting.  He's clearly very gifted.  When we got my gifted, dyslexic, adhd, plus more LDs ds eval'd at newly 6, the psych pointed out that per his IQ he should have been reading at a LATE 1st grade level.  We now work an hour a day, broken into 15 minute chunks generally, and he's EVERY BIT as active as your ds.  

 

To me the challenge is to up the level of thought so it's easier for them to focus.  I don't mind movement while we're working, but some of that rabbit trailing so you're getting is just boredom. I would snap that back, but then I would up your pace or difficulty to match his ability better. My ds is a greyhound, so I work with him like he's a greyhound, not like he's a turtle.  

 

Just for your trivia, working with my ds is totally different than working with my dd, even though they both have some of the same labels.  With her the pace is much slower.  Her processing speed is much lower.  Ds' processing speed is dramatically higher, so to hold his attention and get work done I pretty much need to sit down and be prepared to WORK in a really focused way, bam, bam, bam.  I put on running shoes, drink jet fuel, and off we go!  With dd I do the opposite, slowing down, sipping tea, really being intentional about slowing down and waiting.  

 

So you CAN get his attention and hold it (attention, not the same as lack of movement), but you have to be willing to do what it takes.  I finish a session with him and I'm TIRED, lol.