Mother's Day card humor

[Onceuponatime]

So, dh gives me a card this morning. It was pretty, simple, and sweet.  Then he proceeds to tell me about how he picked it out and how he stood with other men examining cards with perplexed looks, scratching their collective heads.

 

Dh, ever the extrovert, points out the empty spots on the racks and tells the other guys, "There are the cards you want." In other words, they were probably the best non-lame, non-syrupy, non-offensive cards, but now they are gone.

 

Then he goes on to describe how most of the cards say things that no self-respecting man would ever say out loud, using words that belong to a more refined era, unless the husband is a professor of English Literature.

 

So, dh's recommendation for the message in the perfect Mother's Day card for a wife?

 

"Hey. You're all right."

[AK_Mom4]

Mine says that I am "The Best Catch Ever" and has a picture of a funny looking fish.

 

That's a winner in my book!

[Chris in VA]

We have a "tradition" in our house that cards (birthday, Mother's Day, Father's Day) MUST be read out loud while at the table at dinner.

 

Schmaltz is highly entertaining.

[Truscifi]

:lol:

 

 

"Hey. You're all right." would work for me.

[Onceuponatime]

We have a "tradition" in our house that cards (birthday, Mother's Day, Father's Day) MUST be read out loud while at the table at dinner.

 

Schmaltz is highly entertaining.

 

I could see my kids latching on to a tradition like this and making it a kind of competition for who can be the schmaltziest. (is that a word?)

[Ewe Mama]

We have a homemade card tradition in our house. I have been sick for the past three days ( the kiddos had it earlier this week) and Simon's card included the following get well wish:

 

I hope you get well,

Not by a spell,

But by your cells.

I love you very much.

 

Alvin's included this:

 

Oh Mother's Day, Oh Mother's Day

What a way to celebrate the day.

I like you better than good tasty salami....

And this is how I spell your name M-O-M-M-Y

 

I don't think he has ever tasted salami, so I'm scratching my head over that one. :)

[liber]

I told my husband not to get me a card. I don't keep them anyway. I would rather have a chocolate bar. The kids made me cards though.

[PeachyDoodle]

In general, I find store-bought cards to be ridiculously overpriced and a waste. I almost never buy them -- unless I need something to stick a check in!

 

When we were kids, my little sister made our mom a Mother's Day card.

 

In her very best 6-year-old handwriting, it said: "Happy Mother's Day. I hope your day is full of mothers."

 

:D

[Guest]

I was ready to give up greeting cards when I realized that they cost as much as a used paperback, but they are my 79 year old mother's love language and her feelings get hurt when I don't get her one. She tosses the book away unread and it takes up more room in the landfill than the card, so.....

 

If I had a dh, he would know I'd personally rather have the book. Since I don't, my sons know to hit the used book store instead of the greeting card rack.

 

Ssssh....don't tell ds1, but the best part of my Mother's Day present was the knowledge that the cashier at the florist's was interesting enough for him to ask for her phone number. ;)

 

dd once made me a Mother's Day card that said:

 

"Roses are red

Violets are blue

I love you

You are my mother

So I have to"

 

her writing has improved more than our relationship has, but I still adore my little girly-boo and am so proud of her and googlestalk her shamelessly. ;)

[Chelle in MO]

That's cute!  You've gotta love a guy who gets right to the point!   I'm not sure Hallmark would go for it, though!

 

My dh got a great card for me.  On the front it says, "Happy Mother's Day from your favorite kid"  The inside reads, "(aka: the one you married)"

 

See my signature to understand why that's the perfect card for me.   :)

 

[Joyofsixreboot]

Well, my youngest did tell me while giving me a massage (a term I use loosely) "and I'll be gentle, you're not that young." Perhaps she should write cards.