Horse people, esp. Hunter/Jumpers...what have we done??`

[rainbird2]

When our ds was 6, we asked him what would he like to do for his extracurricular activity? He said, "I want to learn how to ride a horse!" We agreed, not knowing what we were getting ourselves into. We are on a couple of acres out in the country, so we thought is would be a good skill for him to learn.

I bet you can guess where this story is going...sigh.

A year and a half later, our son is at 2 lessons a week and his trainer wants him to do a half lease on a pony and start the show circuit. Basically, she wants us to lease our son a Mercedes Benz, and he's only 8. I'm not kidding you, it's $1,000./month, not including show fees, shoeing, etc. This is completely and utterly ridiculous, and we cannot afford it. Even if we could, I would be using that $$ to pay for tutors for my kids, not on a sport.

My question...we have only been with one trainer. She switched to some A list barn and we just followed her, not knowing where we were going. Should we switch to a barn that is more "student friendly" (and pocket book friendly), one that is not training Grand Prix hopefuls, or should we switch disciplines (Western), or should we get out of the horse world while he is still young? Well, we don't know if we can get out of the horse world. Our son LOVES riding, and he cannot wait to canter jump. Presently, he's trotting over poles and cantering and galloping separately. He is progressing very well.

Please help! We have 4 kids and can't afford this!! Is there a balance out there somewhere, or is the Hunter/Jumper world always more $$$$$$$$$$$$$$? Has anyone out there found a good balance for their child?

Thanks for any advice!

[creekland]

If you stay with an A rated barn, those will likely be the expectations - though their asking you to lease a pony at $1,000/month when your guy isn't even doing jumps yet is way out of line IMO.  Just say no!

 

I'd see where there are "fun" shows around you - non-rated to C rated - and go to one of them looking to see who's there training/showing, etc.  See if you can hook up with a barn like that.  You can generally BUY a pony for that caliber of showing from $2500 - $5000 (sometimes less if you get a good deal) and, if allowed where you live, could even keep the pony at home to save on board.  I don't think I'd be buying until my guy were jumping courses, but you can decide what works best for you.  I'm definitely of the opinion that when kids are just learning, riding a plethora of different horses/ponies helps them be far better riders.  Once you buy you often stick to riding that one - not so great at learning to ride many, as each equine tends to have a different personality under saddle.

 

Showing at fun shows and low rated shows is often more "fun" than competing at the As.  The latter can be highly competitive (can = stress).  The former is generally just what it says - fun.  Of course, As can be fun too, but that level just isn't for everyone and definitely takes $$$.

 

There's no shame in changing.  You just need to tell your current trainer that you aren't interested (or financially able) to compete at the top levels.  Don't feel too badly about it either considering she's pushing you to lease an expensive pony long before it is really reasonable IME.  It's not uncommon for trainers to get cuts out of these things - or she might own the pony herself and be getting all the $$... She's not necessarily thinking of YOUR best interest. ;)

[deerforest]

My daughter started riding at 4, and was really good. She started to get the pressure to compete and finally told us that she just wanted to ride for fun and hang out with horses. We left the barn and switched to a very low key one that was perfect. She would comment occasionally to us about her skills but no pressure. We dropped DD off once a week for 3 hours and she would help around the barn and with the horses in exchange for lessons. She moved away last year and DD stopped riding. It's still in her blood so we are on the look out again.

[Woodland Mist Academy]

I would look into other options, ideally a barn with less pressure.

[welovetoread]

I would switch out to a different barn.  We did just that and our daughter is in 4-H.  She is in a riding club, so she is still getting to "show" without all the money and pressure.

[Alessandra]

What Creekland said. I am not any kind of expert, but the place where dd rides stresses that riding different horses will help develop strong skills across the board. Although this has not happened to my dd, I was told that they sometimes switch horses mid-lesson. So, I would want to stay away from one pony at this point (unless you lived on a place with a barn and livestock).

Vet bills are also something to consider -- are those included? Plus feed bills -- from what I read, regular people food prices are expected to rise, on account of terrible weather this winter. I am guessing that animal feed could be affected too??

[kajm]

Agreeing with welovetoread.  4-H would be my suggestion also, more low key and less pressure, more enjoyment.  Additionally, if it is like the clubs around here, your child will be exposed to other disciplines, so will be able to see if something other than hunter/jumper is up their alley.  If you own a horse yourself, you are responsible for everything unless you leave it at their barn with an agreement that they will take care of it for you.  This, of course, means more $$$.  If you can keep it at your place, you will have to arrange feeding, fence fixing, vet, hoof care, someone to take care of it while you are away, etc. 

[Denise in Florida]

When our ds was 6, we asked him what would he like to do for his extracurricular activity? He said, "I want to learn how to ride a horse!" We agreed, not knowing what we were getting ourselves into. We are on a couple of acres out in the country, so we thought is would be a good skill for him to learn.

I bet you can guess where this story is going...sigh.

A year and a half later, our son is at 2 lessons a week and his trainer wants him to do a half lease on a pony and start the show circuit. Basically, she wants us to lease our son a Mercedes Benz, and he's only 8. I'm not kidding you, it's $1,000./month, not including show fees, shoeing, etc. This is completely and utterly ridiculous, and we cannot afford it. Even if we could, I would be using that $$ to pay for tutors for my kids, not on a sport.

My question...we have only been with one trainer. She switched to some A list barn and we just followed her, not knowing where we were going. Should we switch to a barn that is more "student friendly" (and pocket book friendly), one that is not training Grand Prix hopefuls, or should we switch disciplines (Western), or should we get out of the horse world while he is still young? Well, we don't know if we can get out of the horse world. Our son LOVES riding, and he cannot wait to canter jump. Presently, he's trotting over poles and cantering and galloping separately. He is progressing very well.

Please help! We have 4 kids and can't afford this!! Is there a balance out there somewhere, or is the Hunter/Jumper world always more $$$$$$$$$$$$$$? Has anyone out there found a good balance for their child?

Thanks for any advice!

 

 

Ha ha ... been there done that, :)  look at the handsome boy in my avatar picture. ($600/month half lease, plus $160/month shoes)

 

I would say though that at his age I would look for a lower pressure more 'fun ride' type stable. 4H is a great idea.

 

We started with a quarter horse and lots of club rides, she did not move to serious shows until she was 15/16, I know lots of people start younger but I waited until she was ready for the commitment to be worth it. 

 

Riding can be a wonderful sport and really help kids learn responsibility. Caring for horses is hard work and they can be surprisingly fragile.  

 

She is away at college and no longer involved in horses but has lots of great memories and a lot of confidence from competing. 

 

I wish you the best of luck. 

[threedogfarm]

Depending on what part of the country you are in, there are a lot of different options. 

 

To learn more about the hunter/jumper world, you should check out the forums at the Chronicle of the Horse:  www.chronofhorse.com  (on the top menu, go under VOICES and choose chronicle forums--this will lead you to the page that has all the different forums on it). There are forums of all the disciplines:  dressage, hunters, eventing, fox hunting, western, trails, etc.  There have been threads that address your very issue and should give you some good insight.

 

I would definitely talk to your son about what HE wants to do.  He might be really enjoying the atmosphere of the barn and have a rapport with the trainer.  It sounds like he is progressing quickly and truly enjoying himself.  If you abruptly change barns or go to a different discipline he might not be happy with that  BUT that doesn't mean you should feel pressured to half lease a pony.  I would definitely talk to your trainer and see what s/he has to say.  You can easily say that you just want to keep things as they are and not do any showing this year.  If the trainer pushes you on the lease and tries to convince you that there is no other way forward then you know you have to make some changes.

 

I'll throw out a recommendation that hasn't been mentioned (and one that is near and dear to my heart):  eventing and Pony Club.  If your son loves to gallop and is looking forward to jumping, then eventing  might be worth looking into.  If your area has a lot of Hunter barns, they probably also have event barns too.  Usually you need to have your own pony for Pony Club mounted activities but often the barn that hosts the Pony Club will have ponies that can be leased (at a much, much more reasonable rate than what you're looking at in the hunter world--you're in the most expensive discipline right now).  And just to be clear, you don't have to event to be in Pony Club and you don't have to be in Pony Club to event. 

 

One more thing--I really admire all of you moms (and dads) who are letting your children follow their heart's desire into the horse world.  My mom did and I am forever grateful to her for that.  And now I'm sharing that world with my daughter. 

[Mango]

I completely agree with moving into a 4H group and joining the Horse project. 

 

My daughter's lesson teacher is a former 4Her. Lessons are affordable. And no lease! For the 4H shows we have slowly been accumulating show clothing. When we don't have the teacher lends it to her for the show. I love having a horse-mentor person! 

 

This year we took a giant leap and bought a western pleasure horse. Our teacher helped us shop. We're thrilled. The plan is to keep our horse here at our place and either we or the teacher will trailer her to the Fair/drill team practices. At the end of last year's Fair season our trainer suggested a horse of our own since our daughter was stepping up her involvement. The trainer's horse is doubled-up with kids in two different age/grade groups. But this year those kids will all be in the same grade so they can't "share" him at the Fair. Usually different grades can use the same horse because they show according to grade. 

 

We don't have show tack...... yet. :)) This year will be all about adding that. But the network within 4H is huge. :)) People who's kids are moving off to college sell their stuff used. You know it's OK. We bought our daughter her show chaps this way recently. We spent $50 vs. $250 for them. 

 

Call your local extension office and talk to the secretary in the 4H office. She will get you contact information for the folks in Horse project. Since you have land, you might consider getting involved in the dog project too. Another animal to train. :)) Lots of fun. A good extension of his interest in animals. 

 

 

 

 

[Dory]

Ouch!! In three months at that lease price, you could buy a pretty nice starter pony! At that age I'm not sure why anyone needs more than a weekly riding lesson. The show circuit can wait until the kid is getting a little older (like at least 10) or maybe never. My dd loves riding, but I don't think we'll ever do a lot of showing with her. She just enjoys the horses. I'm the same. I like working with them, training them, and riding them, but I get tired of the stress and politics of showing.

 

It's ok to go second hand on things. It's alright to take it slow. 4H can be a nice route to go depending on where you are and what the group is like there (not going to happen here, it requires toooo much commitment). I know of instructors out here that don't even like taking kids under the age of 9 because they say younger than 9 is too young to be competitive with horses and too often parents push for competition level once they are paying for lessons. My dd is 9 this year. She might take in her first show this summer, but it will only be one show and it's local.

 

Good ponies cost anywhere from $3000-$10000 here depending on what a person is looking for. Anything cheaper than that is usually either too green for a kid or has a vice that would make it unfit for a kid.

[La Condessa]

Yikes! Find a place that cares more about learning and less about winning. That is utterly ridiculous.

[rainbird2]

WOW! So many great responses...I don't know where to begin! How about with a "THANK YOU!!" :)

I spoke with my son's trainer and let her know that we are not interested in the half lease or doing shows at this time. Surprisingly, she was very understanding and agreed that we should wait to move into this caliber of riding until he is expressing a deep desire (and after we win the lottery). We let her know that academics are our top priority, and she, being a Princeton graduate, agreed wholeheartedly. I was really surprised. She talked about her experiences growing up, and how her parents had the same priorities for her (academics first, riding second), and how much she appreciated that. I think she was on a scholarship and has no student loans because of how well she performed in H.S. and on the SAT.

His trainer recommended he try another pony at the barn and see how he does with him, which is what I think she was wanting all along. She wants him to progress, and I don't think the pony he was riding was letting him do that. I guess we just needed to do a little communicating.

It's ironic, because I started calling people whom I know ride in our area and asked about the atmosphere of their barns...I was ready to move on to another place. I think I may go visit a few barns to see what lessons are like there, and I will definitely look into 4-H, but I'm feeling a little better about how this is turning out.

My husband and I are completely green when it comes to the horse world. I sincerely appreciate the advice and wisdom you all shared with me.

Thanks again!

[creekland]

WOW! So many great responses...I don't know where to begin! How about with a "THANK YOU!!" :)

I spoke with my son's trainer and let her know that we are not interested in the half lease or doing shows at this time. Surprisingly, she was very understanding and agreed that we should wait to move into this caliber of riding until he is expressing a deep desire (and after we win the lottery). We let her know that academics are our top priority, and she, being a Princeton graduate, agreed wholeheartedly. I was really surprised. She talked about her experiences growing up, and how her parents had the same priorities for her (academics first, riding second), and how much she appreciated that. I think she was on a scholarship and has no student loans because of how well she performed in H.S. and on the SAT.

His trainer recommended he try another pony at the barn and see how he does with him, which is what I think she was wanting all along. She wants him to progress, and I don't think the pony he was riding was letting him do that. I guess we just needed to do a little communicating.

It's ironic, because I started calling people whom I know ride in our area and asked about the atmosphere of their barns...I was ready to move on to another place. I think I may go visit a few barns to see what lessons are like there, and I will definitely look into 4-H, but I'm feeling a little better about how this is turning out.

My husband and I are completely green when it comes to the horse world. I sincerely appreciate the advice and wisdom you all shared with me.

Thanks again!

 

Glad it's working out and/or that you have options if it doesn't as riding really is fun IMO. I'd hate to have anyone think it requires oodles of money or can't be done.

 

Also - as a rabbit trail - your trainer couldn't have gone to Princeton on a full academic scholarship due to SATs, etc as Princeton doesn't give merit aid to anyone.  It is possible she went on need-based aid... many top schools tend to be really good with that, and some do it without loans of any sort.  I've also no idea if they can give athletic scholarships for riders who join the team.

 

Since it IS a homeschooling board, I figured it could be worth knowing.  ;)

 

And for riding or college - the Hive is great for gleaning info!
 

[rainbird2]

Glad it's working out and/or that you have options if it doesn't as riding really is fun IMO. I'd hate to have anyone think it requires oodles of money or can't be done.
 
Also - as a rabbit trail - your trainer couldn't have gone to Princeton on a full academic scholarship due to SATs, etc as Princeton doesn't give merit aid to anyone.  It is possible she went on need-based aid... many top schools tend to be really good with that, and some do it without loans of any sort.  I've also no idea if they can give athletic scholarships for riders who join the team.
 
Since it IS a homeschooling board, I figured it could be worth knowing.  ;)
 
And for riding or college - the Hive is great for gleaning info!

Thanks for this. :) I know she had some sort of scholarship, and that was all assumption on my behalf that is was merit based. I know she nailed her SAT and graduated early...I'll have to inquire more about this. More to learn...there's always more to learn! :)

Thanks again, everyone!!