catz Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 Danestress- I think your post was beautiful and I hope to refer to it when dealing with my aging parents/in laws. It puts things in perspective. For me anyways! So true! Sure this could be mildly annoying. But isn't it much better than having grandma constantly say grandchild is just like other side of family? Or isn't interested in your kids at all? Sure it's quirky and maybe irrelevant when she says it, but she probably loves the kids and is claiming them as one of her own. Both sides of our family claim our kids look and do everything like their respective sides. They see what they want to see. My DH's side goes on and on how much my dd looks like her first cousin. The first cousin looks exactly like my husband's SIL, who is not related to my DH in any way. ROFL. My daughter is going to end up towering over that cousin someday and has mixed facial features from both sides. Anyway, I do try very hard save my annoyance for things that are intentionally malicious and not just quirky grand parenting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Even if my MIL were on Facebook, I would not friend her. Dh would and he would be more than welcome too. There is a fair amount of friction between MIL and me. My MIL is on FB, and I do not friend her. Dh does not friend her, either. It is a better world for us this way. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Someone from my husband's side of the family insinuated that our sons weren't my husband's because of how much they resemble my side of the family (and they really do- my older son especially looks exactly like me.) That was offensive and was the only offensive remark from ILs I have ever gotten on social media. This "just like grandma" sounds annoying rather than angering to me IMO. I totally think you should hash tag it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 My older two have brown eyes like me. MIL actually said about my then 2 year old, "where did she get those pretty brown eyes?" Then looked at me and realized my eyes were brown. This was after 12 years of knowing the woman! What is with some people? When my MIL voiced her confusion I told her that MY eyes were blue and her response was "yes, it's still just such a mystery". Whatever. I am thankful that she seems to be more clueless than malicious. I think most everyone who isn't her DIL thinks she's sweet so I'm sure I'm just overly-sensitive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicAnn Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 I can't imagine being bothered by this...assuming grandma is an alright gal in other regards My mother was a delusional, abusive, narcissist...so if it was her saying it, it would bother me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 I can't imagine being bothered by this...assuming grandma is an alright gal in other regards My mother was a delusional, abusive, narcissist...so if it was her saying it, it would bother me. I can see it. My mother loves her grandkids...no doubts about that. She babysits my youngest brother's two kids so she sees them all the time. She is not looking for the need to feel connected, because she is with them at least 4 days a week. My brother's kids both look a LOT like him as a baby. My mom isn't exactly wild about SIL's family. Things she says that exclude SIL's family, whether intentional or not, hurt my SIL. Someone will mention that a certain thing reminds them of SIL's sister, brother, etc, and my mom will one up it with the things that are from our side. She isn't doing it to be malicious, but the "it's all about OUR family" feel of it still stings for SIL. Like her family isn't good enough to pass on traits to her kids. My own dd, if you compare her to pics of dh at her age, they are identical. When I mention that someone has seen that, my mom will point out all the things that she gets from me. It is like anyone talking of the resemblance to dh somehow takes away from me. It doesn't bother me a bit that people see their resemblance. Whether there is bad intentions behind it or not, it still hurts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBugs Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 I can see how that would bug you. When my DD was little my MIL was always asking where DD got her sparkling blue eyes. It was like a big mystery, like who in DH's family has the sparkling blue eyes. I have blue eyes. I said, well, I don't know, but I have blue eyes and so does my dad. She came in close and stared at my eyes, "Nah, they're pretty but where did DGD get that sparkle?" And then she started trying to figure out who in DH's family has sparkling blue eyes again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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