Do you let your daughters wrestle and play rough with boys?

[Tiramisu]

Here's the article I was thinking of:

 

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/dads-roughhousing-children-crucial-early-development/story?id=13868801

 

It is a smidge OT.

 

I don't usually have much good to think about my dad and uncles, but they were really awesome at this sort of thing. Now that I think of it, those wrestling matches and tickling fests were probably the best memories I have of my childhood.

 

(Except the time my dad played dead.  :ohmy: )

 

Dh is also like this, with the girls and the dog. So much for the money we spent on training.  :glare:

 

Dh would not play dead. He is German and my father mostly Irish.  :laugh:

[Tiramisu]

I can see this.  My kids are absolutely not like this.  So whenever they try to get in on it, they get hurt.  So I now just tell them no.  I don't make a scene unless absolutely necessary, but yeah I just don't let them do it.  It NEVER ends well.

 

My dd's have been so physical and rambunctious that I hate to think about what it would have been like if I had ever had a boy. I'd have to send him off to join the circus or out West to rodeo school. 

[Lisbeth]

Rough-housing is sensory seeking behavior. :)

 

I definitely think of myself as a sensory avoider type but we are all supposed to be a mix. I have amazing memories of how great it felt to wrestle when I was young. There was something deeply satisfying about it.

 

My son, one of my daughters and I also have SPD.  We are generally sensory avoiders, but my daughter is more of a mix than my son or I. 

My son also has the "SED" part of SPD, he is a serious selective eater, way beyond normal pickiness.  Since a close relative NEVER got past SED and is an adult, it is somewhat depressing to me, because it is very unhealthy.  I am very pro-whole foods, organic, healthy, minimal junk, no soda, etc.  So it is so against my nature dealing with an SED child and doing so with grace.  I have learned to handle it with compassion but we had some growing pains while I learned what I was really dealing with. 

 

Sorry to go off topic!

[Laurie4b]

From my own experience as a girl: My dad taught me how to throw punches/box and would do that with me. That was good and helped when I was assaulted a couple times. My reflex was to punch the guy. 

 

As a 10 year old girl, I wrestled with the boy next door. It was definitely sexual, looking back. I just didn't have words for that. I knew about the technical aspects, but not that body contact stuff. :)

[PeacefulChaos]

I don't see a problem with it.

 

Pink doesn't care to rough house with the boys, though she loves playing tag and that sort of thing. 

 

As far as rough housing in general goes, I'm for it.  I have lists of reasons why, but I really don't feel like going into it right now.  :lol:

[Tiramisu]

I don't see a problem with it.

 

Pink doesn't care to rough house with the boys, though she loves playing tag and that sort of thing. 

 

As far as rough housing in general goes, I'm for it.  I have lists of reasons why, but I really don't feel like going into it right now.  :lol:

 

Too cute.  :laugh:

[Tiramisu]

From my own experience as a girl: My dad taught me how to throw punches/box and would do that with me. That was good and helped when I was assaulted a couple times. My reflex was to punch the guy. 

 

As a 10 year old girl, I wrestled with the boy next door. It was definitely sexual, looking back. I just didn't have words for that. I knew about the technical aspects, but not that body contact stuff. :)

 

Now we're getting closer to a cut off age. Before 10. :)

[Tiramisu]

I know this isn't what you meant, but this seems to be a common misconception.  That boys automatically enjoy wrestling or rough play.  And that girls don't. 

 

I understand. It is a misconception that I have to deal with often. People somehow seem to think because all of mine are girls that they sit around all day doing needlepoint.

[Tiramisu]

My son, one of my daughters and I also have SPD.  We are generally sensory avoiders, but my daughter is more of a mix than my son or I. 

My son also has the "SED" part of SPD, he is a serious selective eater, way beyond normal pickiness.  Since a close relative NEVER got past SED and is an adult, it is somewhat depressing to me, because it is very unhealthy.  I am very pro-whole foods, organic, healthy, minimal junk, no soda, etc.  So it is so against my nature dealing with an SED child and doing so with grace.  I have learned to handle it with compassion but we had some growing pains while I learned what I was really dealing with. 

 

Sorry to go off topic!

 

I'll join you in this detour for a moment to offer some sympathy. One of mine announced last week that she will only eat cheddar cheese, macaroni and cheese, and something else I can't remember. She's really not as bad as that but she is very picky, and her stomach hurts everyday. I really stuck in figuring out how to deal with it. Besides that, she will only wear one pair of pants outside the house and both have rips across the knees seam to seam. She also has interesting ideas about hair. It can be rather humiliating. The thing is, she's really normal otherwise. She's very bright and makes friends wherever she goes.

[hillfarm]

I am not a fan. Unless it is well supervised by an adult, I have most often seen it end in trouble. Someone tires more quickly or is at a disadvantage and gets hurt, which then usually results in that child becoming angry and all of a sudden it is not friendly wrestling any more, it is closer to a fight. I'd rather see the boys (and girls) under my supervision find other ways to expend their energy. Learning self defense is a whole other matter and even there, sparring should not be allowed in an unsupervised manner.

 

 

 

[poppy]

I send my daughter to self defense class for the body awareness and satisfaction of wrestling with others! It's been a great outlet for her. 

She does spar with the boys.  They are all 5-6. 

I'd find it very troubling if any mom thought this was inappropriate at that age, honestly.

[SadieMarie]

I would be OK with it if mine wanted to do it.  They never have.  

[Ausmumof3]

I have a dd who would initiate then cry when she gets hurt (she's 4). While I tend to take a you started it so get over it attitude with her, it can make the mum of the boy feel bad. Also with her often being with older boys etc they have to exercise a bit of restraint not to hurt her while she can really annoy them after a while so I tend to discourage it.

 

We also have friends whose boys are not so much into it, who end up upset, partly because they've had bad bullying experiences at schools. Sometimes the rough housing can be a cover for some more malicious stuff as soon as adults aren't watching. So we tend to avoid it with others. I will let my own kids go for it on the trampoline or other safe space at home, and I think martial arts classes are a great outlet.