JumpyTheFrog Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Tigger is going to turn 8 soon. I've been wondering what new privileges we should consider giving him during the next year, or at least trying out. Anything to do with screen time is out, since he has no ability to self-regulate in that area. He and his 4 yo brother are currently allowed to play out back or in the cul-de-sac without us, but they can't leave our street. I'm wondering when we should consider allowing Tigger to ride his bike a little farther. A few months ago, DH pointed out that Tigger doesn't pay enough attention to traffic, so I started teaching him to be more away in parking lots. "That car has white lights on. What does that mean? Yes, it means it's going to back up." I guess I need to observe Tigger carefully in the parking lot to see if he's actually more careful now, or just knows how to answer my questions. I've googled for a list of suggested privileges but didn't get very far. The only other thing I can think of right now is encouraging him to cook on his own, with me in the room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted February 2, 2014 Author Share Posted February 2, 2014 He doesn't get an allowance, but occasionally does yard work for extra money. They each get $10 per month on a gift card to use at the grocery store for snacks. This system works very well and prevents "the gimmes" for the most part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 I think cooking is a great idea! I never made a big deal about ages and activities since each child is different. At 8 mine could hardly get their spacey selves through a parking lot from the car to the store. Never mind on bikes. ha ha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted February 2, 2014 Author Share Posted February 2, 2014 Yeah, we haven't really been the type to say, "You can do X when you are Y years old," but I've been inspired by the Free-Range Kids blog to give more thought to what new freedoms we could give him. (I haven't read the book.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 I give new privileges for the big birthdays. Like turning 10, turning 13, 16 etc. So when ds turned 10 this past september he was allowed past main street on his own, which means he can now ride his bike across town to the convience store, or the ice cream shop and pick something up, His bed time got pushed later, and he was allowed to go to the grocery store with my money and a small list and pick up the groceries. When dd14 turned 13 she ended up being given the privilege of knowing my pin number on my debit card so that she could run errands for me. She (and ds15 before her) got a later curfew, a set bedtime was eliminated, and they could stay home alone (of course getting bigger also meant more responsibilities). At 14 they were old enough to get their learners permits though neither has chosen to yet, and dd14 was allowed to start dying her hair whatever colors she wants. Compared to most in town I have a tighter hold on my kids than most around here and they consider me a helicopter parent, compared to those I know from outside this town including family, old friends etc I am too free range for their liking and should supervise more. I think we have a good balance, and the kids look forward to the big dates knowing those dates come with more freedoms.My kids were all taught how to make soup, oatmeal, scrambled eggs, toast and sandwiches by 8, first with the microwave and then the stove. Then we started the pastas and pancakes and helping with meal prep (slicing and dicing etc). Ds10 got his own baking supplies (bowls, spatulas, whisk etc) when he was 9, that was when I introduced baking. dd6 is just starting with sandwiches. dd14 took machine sewing lessons at 9 and 10 and ds10 has been using drills and such helping with household repairs since he was about 8. He also handles all his own banking now at 10, walking over when he wants to deposit or withdraw any money. He was 9 when he started earning his own money by searching the ditches and school garbage cans within his allowed radius for pop bottles. Now that he is 10 he can take them himself across town to the bottle depot, previously I drove him. (I focus on him because he is the most recent to hit these new levels of freedom so it is fresher in my mind) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 My 8 year old can cook simple meals, unload the dishwasher, sweep, take out the garbage, vacuum the house and car. He does not do all these things all the time, but can and will if asked. He makes his own lunch often. He can also do simple hand sewing, although this is not 100% yet. He can ride his scooter or bike on the sidewalk on our street. He can buy himself food at a restaurant, we worked up to that with me standing nearby, then watching from sitting nearby. He can also self-scan and bag at the grocery store. He is decent at this, my 11 year old is better at self scan than me, LOL. They consider this a privilege and not a chore. We started out slowly with a few items during off hours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 They each get $10 per month on a gift card to use at the grocery store for snacks. This system works very well and prevents "the gimmes" for the most part. That is absolutely inspired!! I am blown away - what a simple, brilliant solution! My oldest gets pocket money, but is NOT allowed to spend it on sweets because I don't like the idea of children having uncontrolled access to junk food, but setting the snack allowance separately puts control back into my hands. You go onto my list of Brilliant Parenting Ideas - small comments from other parents that revolutionised life. So far the list consists of: 1) Never wake a sleeping baby 2) TV is not a basic human right 3) Two activities a week per child is plenty 4) Monthly gift cards for snacks As for privileges - I don't think you need to look for new privileges, and I don't think they should be age linked. Unless you're chronically over-protective, you'll find yourself naturally loosening the ties as they are ready for more responsibility, and as they ask for it. Dd13 and I never discussed a new bedtime, it just became obvious that she was ready to exercise more control over that aspect of her life. At 8yrs I started leaving her at home with her younger brother for 10 minutes at a time; that evolved fairly naturally over the past 5 years into her being allowed to stay at home alone for a few hours when I take her brother to a play date. Similarly with cooking privileges - no rules, just her stepping forward as she gained more confidence, and me stepping back as she earned my trust through her actions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 I would look into bedtime privileges. I didn't catch if they share a room or not, but if they don't, or if the 4yo falls asleep fast, I'd allow either a later bedtime (by 30 mins, maybe) or 15-30 mins of reading with a small light on. This wouldn't work if he needs the sleep, of course. You could also add a new responsibility. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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